Daily Archives: August 15, 2014

Gratitude Friday

1. The last weekend of summer vacation. *sob* Someday, someday this will be my life, not only a vacation. I just know it.

2. One last weekend of yoga teacher training. It’s still three weeks away, but I’m ready to be done, to move on to the next step.

3. Golden days with my dogs. There is a sweet spot when dogs are old enough but not too old, when you don’t have to watch them every second, and when no one (as far as you know) has cancer or is dying. When you don’t have to sleep with one eye open because at any moment there could be an emergency, when you can finally relax and enjoy them. That time is now.

4. Peaches and watermelon. I can’t get enough of either one right now.

5. My body’s ability to heal. I got bit twice by a gnarly spider on the back of my leg while I was sleeping Monday night, and for the first few days it was pretty bad, but it’s so much better now. I’m constantly amazed by how strong, how efficient my body is, without needing much help or direction from me.

Bonus Joy: Apparently, it’s National Relaxation Day. Now that’s something worth celebrating, with a nap.

August Moon: On Fire

waldportsunset
Kat asks, “What are the signs that you are on fire?” What is the catalyst for the feeling, what do you love so much about it when something really gets you going, when something resonates with your soul, when you are really turned on by something, when something lights you up? “Sink into the feelings and capture them as accurately as you can.”

Being on fire for me describes that “hell yeah” moment. It’s clarity, confidence, certainty. Everything goes still and quiet, the mind chatter and outside noise falls away and all I can hear is the voice inside saying “this.”

Sometimes this feeling comes before a thing actually happens, before I can be absolutely certain, sure that it will, like when I knew Ringo was my dog before Sherry had decided which puppy we’d get.

Sometimes it’s the same moment something is happening. I just know it’s right. I relax and let it happen, I don’t try to control or force it. It feels like when you give up the struggle in the water and float. I’m excited and surprised, but there is a deep sense of “of course this is happening, it’s exactly as it should be.” Like when Andrea Scher asked me to be her teaching assistant for Mondo Beyondo.

Then there are times I’m on fire, want something so badly, can see it so clearly, but am not sure it will work out, experience a strange mix of utter confidence and crushing doubt. Knowing I can’t live without something but unsure if I’ll have it. This happened for the first two years I knew Eric. It also happened for years with my desire to be a writer.

Calm, stillness, complete confidence in the rightness of a thing. More and more I find this, live this, as I get clearer about what I want, who I am, and I honor it.