Tag Archives: Gratitude Friday

Gratitude

1. The opportunity to rest, to heal. This applies to so many things, but in particular and most recently having COVID, probably for the second time. I feel like I didn’t get as sick as the last time but it is taking so much longer to recover my energy — and that’s totally okay. I have time. I don’t need to rush.

2. The ability to change my mind, see things more clearly. For example, this pile is in our front yard, consisting mostly of last season’s sunflowers. Here in Colorado, we don’t have to plant them, they just come, and the meadowlarks and bees love them and I love watching them feed on the flowers. All fall and winter, I’ve seen this pile and thought, “that looks so messy, we really should at least move it to the back by the compost pile.” And yet, the other day I looked out the window and there were at least ten finches and chickadees hopping around the pile, still finding things to eat in the middle of winter. Another example is this morning when I was meditating, had the door to my practice room open and could hear Eric unloading the dishwasher. At first, I could see how it might be a distraction, the banging of plates and slamming of cabinet doors, but then I thought about how the noise Eric was making was a music of sorts, a sound I would desperately miss in the silence of him not being here. He probably wouldn’t say the same about my snoring at night, which is currently worse because I’m still a bit stuffy from the COVID.

3. Bed. Naps, clean sheets, blackout curtains, down blankets and pillows, a weighted blanket, my moon nightlight, my Kindle, our sunrise alarm clock and white noise machine. It’s not just one of my favorite places in our house, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.

4. Practicing in community. Zoom art dates, wild-ish writing, yoga, and meditation.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. Sitting on the couch with Eric doing nothing, thanking him for being my person, watching movies together, making each other laugh, cooking together, sleeping in the same bed, having 30 years of memories together, hugs in the kitchen, our couch comfortable enough to sleep on at night if someone needs to, all our plants, the promise of our outside garden, good neighbors, kitchen counter love notes (which he sometimes hides by the tea or on my meditation shrine), how close the river is, birds in the feeder, all the things we need to make spaghetti sauce, our spices, my bookshelves full of books, the wood floors, the rugs, the oval mirrors in our bathroom, the way Ringo is so much more cuddly in the winter, the way Eric makes him a pile of blankets and pillows to nap on, even how Ringo digs up the couch at night or barks at the TV, the way he comes to find me when he and Eric come back from a walk, an echo of how Sam used to do the same thing.

Bonus joy: a warm shower, clean pjs, a big glass of cold water, matcha lemonade, listening to podcasts, clean laundry, pay day, dark chocolate covered almonds, walnuts, Simple Truth Strawberry Paletas Fruit Bars, health insurance that covers prescriptions, NSAIDS, anti-anxiety meds, THC gummies, Burt’s Bees lip balm, the internet, having a backup option when one of my computers doesn’t want to behave, a washer and dryer, windows, sunshine, how bright and quiet it is when there’s snow on the ground, snow plows, the sunrise, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

Gratitude

1. Morning walks. I only got to do one this week, but it was gorgeous.

2. Science and medicine. Y’all, this winter has been a rough one for me. First Ringo was at the emergency vet overnight and sick for a good two weeks, then I was in the hospital, and now, after a few days of symptoms, I finally tested positive for COVID. Eric is feeling better already after testing positive on Wednesday but still lighting up his test — his result line was deep pink three minutes in to the recommend 20 minute wait, darker than the control. Mine was faint after the full 20 minutes but certainly there.

Both of us had symptoms for 3-4 days before testing positive which makes me 97% certain the “not COVID” we had last winter actually was, we just assumed after testing negative the first 2-3 symptomatic days that it wasn’t. We are still masking up when in the same space, sleeping in separate rooms, even though at this point it probably doesn’t matter.

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Thank goodness for vaccines, at home tests, masks, health insurance (even though it could be so much better), grocery and pet supplies and pharmacy delivery and no contact pickup, email access to doctors who don’t mind answering a bunch of questions and giving advice, lots of comfortable places to sleep in our house, Eric being well enough to walk the dog, a dog who is content to just hang out as long as he gets walked and fed, me cooking up a bunch of food the last day I felt up to it, friends checking in and offering help, knowing this won’t kill me, and Dr. Google (even though they can make things very confusing).

3. The internet and smartphones and streaming content. I don’t have the energy for much right now, so am just lounging around a lot. A lot of the time, I’m not really sleeping but I also am not up for watching TV or reading or anything I have to pay close attention to, so being able to listen to a podcast or a comedy, or scroll social media with a soft gaze, or text with people who love me, or Google remedies for a sore throat is so welcome. It also means that Eric can do all his meetings and work from home.

4. Baby Ringo Blue. January 16th nine years ago was his first day home with us. And here he is now, still. I’ll probably never get another dog exactly like him — born on purpose even if not specifically for or because of us, 127% Blue Heeler, so tenacious and independent (exactly what you want in a cattle dog but not the best fit for my temperament and skill)  — but I’m so grateful to have had him, to have given him a good life, to have loved him with all my heart just like the three before him. He was the right dog at the right time and I’m glad he’s still here with us still driving me crazy and making me laugh and letting me sneak in a cuddle very once in awhile.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. All of it, exactly like this.