Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. Morning walks. We for sure felt the coyote close by at Kestrel natural area this week. Because it’s been such an early, long, warm spring, I keep expecting to start seeing animal babies but that’s probably still a few weeks out. We saw our neighbor walking alone at the ponds and found out that our longtime neighbor dog, her partner for the past 14.5 years, Ringo’s enemy at the fence but friend in the streets, had passed. Good dog, Rizzo. 🐾💔 We miss you.

Special edition gallery of all the animals Ringo and Eric saw on their walks this week. I was so surprised by the video, how close the heron let the deer get to it.

Though sighted near the beaver’s house it’s actually a muskrat

2. The pool at the gym being open. There have already been a few days that the heater wasn’t working, but after being closed for close to a full month to put in the new tile and paint and then another closure when some fool dropped and broke a bottle and got glass in the water so it had to be drained and cleaned, I’ll take it even when it’s cold. Getting in multiple days a week, followed up by sitting in the sauna, makes a huge difference to how I feel. Seriously, just looking at this picture makes me happy.

3. Moving day for Mom. I’m anxious to hear how it goes later today and hope she settles in as easily as she did the last time she had to move. I’m confident we found her a good place where she’ll be well cared for and have good company and be comfortable. And it turns out she qualified for hospice care for at least one more month, so they will be visiting her at her new address, providing some extra support that I think will help her make the transition smoothly.

4. Practice. Eric bought me some tulips when he was at the store this morning and I put them in one of my dad’s pottery steins on my meditation shrine. I didn’t realize how much it was going to mean to me, how comforting it would be to have Mom and Dad’s things in my house.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. With all the new things from Mom and Dad’s and some cleaning up and clearing out of our things along with replacing some furniture that was not great to begin with and now close to 25 years old, I’ve been having fun rearranging and organizing around here. My peonies are filling out and filling up with buds that will most likely bloom before we leave for Oregon. With the long warm spring, my lilac bushes are still full of blooms at least a full week or two longer than usual.

Bonus joy: my irises blooming, the smell of lilacs when the wind blows, sitting in the backyard with Eric and Ringo, onion buns, hot coffee sweetened with hot cocoa, aqua aerobics, seeing my “gym dad” Frank, all the women in the sauna that one day, Sunday morning Pilates, rain, the particular yellow of the neighbor’s Honey Locust tree, how long the redbuds bloomed this year, the three wild turkeys I saw this morning by the feed store, getting all the laundry done and put away even the extra loads, Ringo’s visit with Bronwen and how cute their relationship is, Ringo’s visit with Kelly and his “really good” bloodwork, how excited Ringo got when I was writing with my Friday morning group and Chloe’ logged in and people said “Hi, Chloe'” and he knew what that meant and wanted to see her and so she adjusted her camera to show him Franny his dog friend, finding the right shelves for plants by the front door where the “good light” lands in the mornings, watching The Pitt (even though this season feels a bit more intense), listening to podcasts, sleeping in, being cold and cuddling up, down blankets and pillows, our new futon mattress with the wool topper, a big glass of clean cold water, potato chips in my sandwich, peanut butter, marionberry jam from Auntie T, pancakes, naps, reading in bed while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. Poetry: To the Sea by Tracey Knapp and “I came here to be a poet …” by Michael Montlack on poets.org, “World Leaders Praise Pakistan as a Mediator” by Khushrooh Kasi and I Never Pushed My Daughter by Tom C. Hunley and The Armrest by Terry Jude Miller and Kind of Poet by Tony Gloeggler and The Lull of Tuesdays by Krystle Herdy on Rattle, The Miracle and Instructions for Myself and Consider the Dandelion by Julie Barton, Accepting the Risk by James Crews (as much as I adore James’s poetry, I absolutely love how with each poem, he shares the backstory and a related prompt), The Waiting “for everyone who’s waiting for something” by Jena Schwartz, A Place for Everything by Maya Stein, and 12 New Recommended Poetry Collections by Orion Magazine Staff.

2. Good stuff from Patti Digh: I would rather live with failure than with regrets (“There is a particular kind of knowledge you only get on the other side of action”) and I read books the way some people start fires (“In praise of generally arguing with books”).

3. To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller. “Self-esteem is overrated. The better path to enlightenment is through contemplating one’s insignificance.”

4. Wisdom from Meghan O’Rourke: “When you lose someone you were close to, you have to reassess your picture of the world and your place in it. The more your identity was wrapped up with the deceased, the more difficult the loss.” I’ve really been feeling this, having essentially lost three out of four parents in the past 2.5 years.

5. Good stuff from Satya Robyn: This Is Who I Am (“On reading my old diaries & ‘progress not perfection'”) — I really felt this, “What I read shocked me. The themes – from ten, twenty, thirty years ago – were so familiar. I circled the same dilemmas, had the same complaints about myself, had similar insights over and over again,” as I see the same thing when I read through my old journals, and Trying to Tame the Lion of My Phone Addiction (Again) (“And what helps me to be kind to myself”).

6. Good morning, Grief, you shameless bastard. “The Lament of the Middle-Aged Orphan” by Elissa Altman on Poor Man’s Feast. *sigh*

7. What is here? “Bimblings is changing and I need your help” by Josie George. I feel almost every word of this, in particular the way change happens so slowly, so quietly.

8. The definitive study of seed oil and health, an important reminder from Seth Godin.

9. Everything is Just Happening by Laurie Wagner. “And what might we say? I love you, I’m sorry. Which covers a lot, and will often seem inadequate…”

10. Writing against the rot, “And other difficulties” by jeanette winterson.

11. 1440 Findings on The Novel, “Hours of research by our editors, distilled into minutes of clarity.”

12. Woman who never stopped updating her lost dog’s chip reunites with him after 11 years.

13. Were We This Brave at 17? “A high school open mic—and Hrishikesh Hirway on change” on The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad.

14. If we avoid sadness in life, why do we seek it in art? “Philosophers and psychologists have puzzled over the allure of tragic art. New findings show how sadness can be a comfort.”

15. Strangers answer a mysterious red telephone on a bridge. “The project, called ‘A View from a Bridge,’ launched in 2023 and saw Bloom place old-fashioned handset telephones on random bridges in London. When strangers would pass by and if they picked up, he’d be on the other end ready to chat.”

16. “Soft Socializing” Is the Gen Z Trend That’s Making Low-Pressure Hangouts the New Normal. “Think cozy hangs, early nights, and no pressure to drink.”

17. What Do Authoritarians Fear Most? People Who Stick Up for Each Other. “The most reliable form of resilience is not individual wealth or distant institutions, but solidarity.”

18. The urgency of temporary things, “Not all urgency comes from fear” by Jasmine on The Tiny Joy Project.

19. Always in crisis mode? You might be catastrophizing – here’s how to stop on The Guardian. “When your boss asks to meet, do you assume you’re about to get fired? Experts explain this common pattern.”

In related news, other good stuff on The Guardian: ‘They’re all junk, and should be banned’: the trouble with at-home food intolerance tests (“A multimillion-pound industry has sprung up promising it can detect sensitivities to certain ingredients with a simple remote finger prick test. But the results can be misleading – and even dangerous”) and Socialising, work, exercise: what makes a good day and is there a ‘formula’ for making it better? (“Researchers have figured out which activities, and in what volume, are linked to people reporting having a good day. We challenge three writers to follow the blueprint for improving their daily grind”) and Art, sex, nature: why is everything sold to us as a means to an end, rather than an end in itself? (“How a reductive worldview is stripping meaning from our most valued activities”) and Start small, grow what you like and be realistic: how to start a vegetable garden (“You don’t need a yard or balcony to get going. We asked experts for their advice on how to grow your food”).

20. Calling from the Slopes, “United in our descent” by Kent Kosack on Short Reads.

21. Movievia. “If you are struggling with what to watch, Movievia is your ultimate solution. Instead of endless scrolling, our smart Movie Generator instantly finds the best similar movies and TV shows based on your exact psychological mood (like Adrenaline, Tension, or Feel-Good).”

22. And a few random things I saved to my phone this week.