April | 2015 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. Signs of Spring, things turning green and blossoming. My lilacs out front are going to be mad with spring, are covered in almost blooms.

2. Practice, keeping me sane, grounded, here.

3. Glazed Lemon Zucchini Bread with extra glaze.

4. The Daily Dharma Gathering. This morning I listened to the most recent talk from Khempo Gawang and he talked about how it’s important to “think globally, but act locally.” He said the problems of the world are actually a collection of individual problems, so in that way we can make a difference by acting locally. The bottom line is that we can either generate suffering or help. He also talked about the magic of technology, how it allowed us to come together and practice, how it allowed him to come and teach us, that we should “recognize and rejoice” this particular magic.

5. April Love and April Moon, two challenges complete with daily emails and prompts from two of my favorite people.

Bonus Joy: TV on demand, reading, Wild Boar Cafe, talking and laughing with a good friend, a boss who understands, laughing with Eric, dancing in the kitchen, Ringo when he’s being sweet, Sam when he’s being sweet, knowing what I do is helpful, being told that I’m cheering someone up, making them feel better, synchronicity, getting to choose how I move my body and what I eat, not apologizing for myself, trusting myself.

Pasque Flowers, image by Eric

1. Truth: Some days, some situations, some people can be so difficult that you want to give up. Sometimes pausing or taking a deep breath helps me, or trying harder to see things from another perspective, being curious and asking lots of questions, but honestly much of the time I have to walk away, take a break, remove myself. I have to, otherwise I might react, respond, reach out and pinch somebody, do something I’ll regret later.

2. Truth: More and more I’m realizing days have their own rhythm and I can’t change that. I used to try and push past it, force my way through it, struggle against it, attempt to control it. Now I am beginning to understand that there’s no sense in fighting it. If the energy of a day is “let’s get some shit done!” I work with it. If the energy of a day is “nothing is going to work out so you might as well relax,” I work with that. It’s all workable.

3. Truth: “The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground,” (Chögyam Trungpa). Life is suffering, but freedom is possible. Nothing is okay, but everything is fine. Eric saw the first Pasque Flowers blooming and someone else sighted the season’s first rattlesnake. Life is tender and terrible, beautiful and brutal. I’m going to keep my heart open, as much as I can, and keep trying, not give up.

One wish (or many): May we have faith in our basic goodness. May the confidence in basic goodness that we cultivate give us the courage to do what has to be done. May we all find someone or something in our lives that is our soft place to land. May we love and let go.