Monthly Archives: May 2015

Day of Rest

This is my current theme song. It would be a great tune to play on repeat if you were in the midst of a breakup, but I think it could be an anthem for any shift, a change in any relationship or situation, the soundtrack for quitting whatever isn’t working. That’s what it is for me.

I’m done. The specifics don’t really matter right now because it’s not a change I can make immediately, (but just to be clear, this has nothing to do with my relationship with Eric — he’s my favorite). For starters, I am still recovering from being sick. I have so little energy and feel like I might just spend the entire summer on the couch. What matters is that I’m 100% sure. I see it so clearly, and I know that it’s what I have to do even though it’s going to make some people uncomfortable, disappointed, upset. But none of that matters because I’m done. I’m done.

And I’m sorry that you don’t like your life
I fought for my own victories and for the beauty in my life
My joy, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you
no, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you
~Frazey Ford, “Done”

In a moment of synchronicity, the same day Rachel Cole shared the video for “Done” on Facebook (and thus, the first time I saw it), a friend made a comment about a blog post I’d written exactly a year earlier, Don’t Wait. One of my favorite things about blogging is that sometimes I read a post and even if it’s old, it feels like exactly what I needed to hear at that particular moment. This one feels like it was just waiting for the exact moment I got to the place where I was really and truly done — which can be different than knowing exactly what to do.

What tiny step can you take today, right now, towards your dream? What can you do to begin to live a life that reflects what matters to you, what you love? It can be the smallest thing, but that action is like a prayer, a promise, medicine and magic. Give yourself permission, kind and gentle reader. Stop waiting for something to happen and happen.

Gratitude Friday

image by Eric

image by Eric

1. The pictures that Eric takes when he’s hiking. There are some weeks I don’t get out enough, and even when I do I either don’t have a camera with me or I don’t stop to use it, and then I have no pictures to add when I write a blog post. When that happens, there’s always something nice from Eric that I can use.

2. Feeling better, and having all the time I need to rest. I’m still not completely recovered from being sick. It sucks that I can’t be using some sick days, getting paid for my time on the couch, but the reason I can’t is because I’m on summer vacation and that’s nothing to complain about.

pieheals3. Eric made me pie. I was sick, I asked him to make me pie, and he did.

ringolawn4. Because of the rain, our backyard looks like a golf course. Ringo and Sam love lounging on it, and I love to watch them. Sometimes I watch with my eyes closed. 🙂

5. Netflix and Hulu, allowing me to binge watch tv when I don’t have enough energy to get off the couch.

feaststring
Bonus Joy: a follow-up call with the amazing women from Feast, finally tying on the string Rachel sent me, finishing yoga teacher training, naps, clean pjs, teaching yoga, Ringo napping on the big bed one afternoon and in his crate with the door open the next, seeing Tig Notaro with good friends and most likely laughing our faces off, the thump of Sam’s tail in the morning when he realizes I might be awake, fresh pineapple, soaking in the tub while listening to podcasts.