April | 2015 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

April Love prompt, “yellow.” This is one of my favorite pictures, not so much because of how it looks but what it represents. It’s the beach access that is closest to my aunt’s house on the Oregon Coast. We were there visiting her a few summers ago, and when we got to the access, these bikes were there — beach bikes covered in rust, ridden to the access point and abandoned. The people would eventually come back for them, ride them back to wherever they were staying after a long day on the sand and in the water. It’s a place, a lifestyle that I love so much.

April Moon prompt: “This is the best part of my day.” Morning, when I sit down with my journal and pen. First, I watch a short dharma talk and meditation from either the Daily Dharma Gathering or the Open Heart Project, then I freewrite. I have a whole hour to myself while Eric keeps an eye on Ringo, who still needs an eye kept on him but not as much as before, and Sam sleeps. I make myself half a cup of coffee, grab my phone, my journal and my pen, turn on my HappyLight, and sit at my writing desk, allowing whatever might arise. This is what I do every morning, no matter what. It’s the best part of my day.

April Love prompt, “current obsession”: Cherry blossoms. There are lots of trees on campus and around town, and they are exploding with blooms right now. My favorite thing about cherry trees (besides the fruit, which most of the ones blooming right now won’t even get because they are ornamentals) is that the blooms have three distinct phases. When they first show up, they are curled so tight they look like tiny berries. When the blooms open, they are crazy beautiful, full and soft and plenty. Then when the petals fall, it’s like snow and what’s left on the tree is like a tiny firework.

April Moon prompt, “I am trying not to talk about”: The things that are bothering me, the stuff that irritates me, the problems I have, my issues, other people’s stories and the ones I’m making up about “poor me.” I’m trying not to talk about the big plans I have that carry me way into the future because it overwhelms me, makes me miss what’s happening right now. I’m trying not to talk about the ways I feel like I’m failing, missing out, not doing enough. I’m trying not to talk about what is wrong. I’m trying not to talk about things that don’t really matter. I’m trying not to talk about stuff that I’m only talking about to fill up the empty space anyway. I’m trying not to talk so much about me…me, me, me. I’m trying not to talk about what I think, what I feel, what I want. I’m trying, but as you might have noticed, I kind of like to talk.