Reverb14: Day 16

reverb14withtextProject Reverb prompt: “There’s the old saying that a photo is worth 1,000 words.  Give us a photo with that impact that sums up some significant event of your 2014, or give us 1,000 words about a pivotal moment in 2014.”

Reverb14 prompt: “Like many folks, I picture myself as a modern day Wonder Woman, trying to use my superpowers, to do lists and pure force to get what I want. In 2014, I found that my effort wasn’t often tied to my desired outcomes — except when it was. In 2015, is there something you’d like to try harder at because you believe it would make all the difference? Conversely, what is something you could stop trying so hard at that might actually help you manifest what you’d like?”

I’m going to try harder to be well, to be a better friend to myself. This involves so many things. It means taking care of my physical health. It means eating well. It means moving my body. It means resting and getting enough sleep. It means practicing. It means prioritizing myself in a way I just haven’t. It means trusting myself. It means listening, fully and deeply. it means slowing down and being still. Being well, healthy and strong and sane, will directly impact what I have to offer. What I have to give will be better, more helpful if it has a strong foundation of self-compassion.

What I’m going to stop trying so hard to do is push, perform, please. No more poverty mentality, no more idiot compassion. I just can’t anymore. It’s not sustainable, and it doesn’t feel good. There isn’t anyone who wants me to wreck myself in order to give something away.

11 thoughts on “Reverb14: Day 16

  1. JyllianM

    I love those phrases..”idiot compassion, poverty mentality”. I’ve been fighting both this year. I’ve read you every day this reverb and I’ll keep returning!

  2. Frances D

    Bravo on dropping the poverty mindset. Years ago I worked as an independent sales contractor. At the desk across from me was a young man we’ll call Ebenezer. He was in his early 20’s, lived rent and board free with his wealthy parents, and his entire salary and commission as a salesperson was his and his alone. When lunchtime would come Eb would go out for the same 2 dollar lunch: two hotdogs and a papaya drink from a stand on the corner. The rest of us would order in from local restaurants. My favorite lunch at the time was a bit of veggie heaven from the Zen Palate. Whenever the delivery man would arrive with it Eb’s eyes would go wide with a mixture of want and horror. How can you order such expensive things every day. But to me it was not expensive. Fuel – healthy fuel – for my body – too expensive? Golly I hope I can be as half as conscious of what I eat as I was in the old days. One day the owner heard Eb, and we discussed it when Eb left for an errand. “Frances, Eb lives in poverty consciousness. He eats cheap food, and has three shirts and three pair of pants, and no privacy because he squirrels away every nickle because no matter how much he has it will never be enough. You Frances come from wealth consciousness: you trust the Universe to provide for you abundantly.” Now I am not saying having a few bucks put away is not wise, but we need to put money out there too. And not just for material things for ourselves. Everyone should give a few gifts for no reason at all. We need to be blessings in others lives and our own. Wishing health and wealth in 2015 to all two and four legged members of your household.

    1. jillsalahub Post author

      Yes, Frances, the problem for me is that sense of never having enough, the “mixture of want and horror” you mentioned. It causes me the opposite problem — I hoard, hang on to things I don’t need because I might, someday, and because something like a closet stuffed full of clothes, most of which I don’t even wear or like or feel good in, makes that poor little me feel safe somehow. I want to let it all go, give it all away, keep just what I love and what feels good.

      1. Frances D

        In 2013 my husband and I gave up our Manhattan apartment. We had lived there since I was 20 – nearly 31 years. We gave away about 70% of what we owned. My husband and I each filled a suitcase and the rest went into a 5’×5′ storage locker. Talk about lightening your load. You know I have never missed one bit of that 70 percent. Peace

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