1. Truth: They will never be who you need them to be. You have to take them the way they are, stop waiting for them to become who you need them to be. He will probably never apologize or understand how much he’s hurt you. She might never stop drinking. She will never be the strong, confident, stable adult you need her to be. He will never get any smarter. They will never love you as much as they love her, or them. They will never understand, never fully appreciate, never be enough. Stop judging. Stop keeping track, keeping score. Forgive them. Let it go. Here’s a post from Positively Present that might help, “Slow Down: Learning to Accept Others as They Are.” Stop waiting.
2. Truth: You are the one you need, you can be that for yourself. It’s you you’ve been waiting for. You are enough. You know, you understand, you appreciate, you love, you can fix it, you provide comfort, you can guide yourself, you can save yourself. You are wise and kind. You are the one. You are it. Read this post on Tiny Buddha when you need reminding, “Tiny Wisdom: It’s You.” Stop waiting.
3. Truth: You are here, now. Even though you’ve been waiting for years, maybe a whole lifetime, for someone else to show up and give you permission or rescue you, you can stop waiting. It’s you. You can start today. The healing will come from telling your story and asking for what you need, not the response you get. Did you hear that? Give your truth a voice and ask for what you need, and be healed by that, because you don’t know what the reaction to it will be, and you can’t wait for it, (this wisdom comes from Brene’ Brown, specifically an audio lesson from my Ordinary Courage Class). Ask yourself what you need. Take care of yourself first, before anyone else, before the community or tribe, you first. Keep every deal you make yourself. Show up when you said you would, do what you promised, no matter what else has to fall away. Keep showing up, taking care. Stop waiting.
- I wish that we all have the deep knowing that we are, already and right now, brave and kind and wise enough to love and take care of ourselves. You are loved and you are the one you’ve been waiting for.