Tag Archives: Susan Piver

Life Rehab Resource: Practice, Part Three

liferehabresourcesAfter writing the first two posts about practice, I started thinking about what practice actually means to me. What is it? Here’s what I came up with, in no particular order.

  • Regular, ongoing, routine. Working with the same thing repeatedly over time, coming back to it again and again. Compulsory, something you show up for no matter what. I’ve heard it described as digging a well — you don’t dig for a bit in one area and then move to another spot of ground and start to dig again, but rather you keep digging in the same spot until you hit water.
  • Without agenda. Cultivating an attitude of nonjudgement and nonattachement, you drop criticism and striving. You stop comparison with other or self — past, present, or future. Let go of both fear and hope. Show up with an attitude of open curiosity, without evaluation, dropping any story you have about what’s occurring.
  • “Only don’t know.” Have a beginner’s mind, again that sense of open curiosity, like a wobbly, awkward toddler learning to walk. As Zen monk Shunryu Suzuki said, “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind, there are few.”
  • Skillful means. The intention to learn, to transform, to develop mastery and wisdom.
  • Mindfulness of the present moment. Connection to and curiosity of your immediate experience. Your mind and body in the same place, at the same time.
  • Done from love, in pursuit of joy. In Austin Kleon’s new book, Show Your Work, he defines being an amateur, a state we cultivate in practice, this way, “the enthusiast who pursues her work in the spirit of love…regardless of the potential for fame, money or career.”
  • “Not too loose, not too tight.” Learning to continually balance your effort with ease. “Wobble turns to sway and sway turns to balance. Never get too comfortable, relax where you are.” Pema Chödrön describes it this way,

    My middle way and your middle way are not the same middle way. For instance, my style is to be casual and soft-edged and laid-back. For me to do what usually would be called a strict practice is still pretty relaxed, because I do it in a relaxed way. So strict practice is good for me. But perhaps you are much more militant and precise. Maybe you tend toward being tight, so you might need to find out what it means to practice in a relaxed, loose way. Everyone practices in order to find out for him- or herself personally how to be balanced, how to be not too tight and not too loose. No one else can tell you. You just have to find out for yourself.

  • Making friends with yourself. Spending time with, being gentle and present, observing without judgement, showing up no matter what. My friend and meditation instructor Susan Piver describes it, in the context of meditation, this way,

    I encourage you to relax self-judgment, especially when it comes to your meditation practice. Our practice, rather than trying to get meditation “right,” is about relaxing with ourselves just as we are. Instead of critiquing our every move, we extend the hand of friendship. This, it turns out, is the way to find our innate, pre-existing wisdom which is always there.

  • Obstacles are path, are practice. They aren’t simply something to be removed. “What stands in the way becomes the way,” (Marcus Aurelius). What arises is what you work with.
  • Post practice is also practice. What you learn, what you are working with, who you are follows you off the cushion, mat, page, leash. Eventually you realize it’s all practice.
  • All dharma (truth), all practice instruction can be distilled into one word, a single concept: relax. Soften, be gentle, slow down. Go ahead and try to stump this one, disprove it — so far, I’ve failed.
  • Keep your heart open, no matter what. Beautiful or brutal, tender or terrible.
  • Practice is clearing a space, experiencing spaciousness and clarity.
  • Transforming habitual patterns and discursive thinking, changing or removing that which no longer serves.
  • Preparing for death. Cultivating an awareness of impermanence, peace with this state, practicing nonattachment, letting go, surrender.
  • Seeing reality naked, stripped of it’s storyline, of our agenda.
  • Cultivating confidence and courage. As Susan Piver defines it, “Confidence is the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.”
  • Surrender. Giving up perceived control and habitual resistance, awareness and acceptance of “this is what is, now.”
  • Being in relationship. With ourselves, with our suffering and that of others, with our shared experience, with reality, with basic goodness — fundamental wisdom and compassion.
  • Showing up is essential. Stop waiting for something to happen and just happen. Take your seat. Begin. Let go and begin again. Start over. Take the “half step that will change your life.” According to Susan Piver, the number of fresh starts available to you is infinite.
  • What you practice is your choice, specific to you. For me it’s yoga, meditation, writing, and dog. For others it’s running or ikebana or parenting. As long as it embodies the qualities of practice, it is practice.

Do you see, kind and gentle reader, why I said I could write a whole book about practice? ♥

Something Good

hellosnow

“Good morning, Snow.” ~Ringo Blue

1. Tara Brach Reads from Mary Oliver’s “Dog Songs” on Brain Pickings.

2. Free mandala class part 1: Introduction and Doodling in a circle from Louise Gale. Oh how I’d love to spend some time sinking into this practice.

3. Alice Walker: Beauty in Truth an American Masters film available on PBS.com

4. 10 Cozy Reading Nooks shared on Susannah Conway’s Something for the Weekend list.

5. This Moment and Fear is the Root of Your Problems from Zen Habits.

6. 3 steps for achieving sophrosyne on Positively Present.

7. Baby Acting Crazy? It’s Probably a Case of JBBB on Huffington Post, which shares this wisdom,

Some parenting books are useful, but the danger of too much information is giving parents the impression that there’s very much that’s in their control.

And

It’s probably just a matter of convenience, but it truly helps me to remember that babies and young children are, basically, tiny insane people who make absolutely no sense.

8. In related news, 3-Year-Olds Are A**holes, also on Huffington Post.

9. Two beautiful pieces from Andrea on Superhero Life: Underneath the mess everything is marvelous. I’m sure of it. and Important-er than a diaper.

10. “We have art in order not to die from the truth.” ~ Nietzsche

11. Good stuff from Be More with Less: Permission to be Unsexy at Least 100 Times a Day and 3 Dire Reasons to Simplify Your Life.

12. I adore Jeff Oaks, specifically for things like this, “Be kind to yourself. It’s hard to be without a book to your name. It’s hard to feel left out of conversations by people you look at your name and move on. It has nothing to do with your worth. They have their own issues.”

13. This 4-Year-Old Makes Paper Dresses With Her Mom — And They Keep Getting More Amazing on Huffington Post.

14. Shared by Lindsey on her latest Things I Love Lately list: Clinging to Each Other, We Survived the Storm and The Moment Is Now.

15. The Greek Island Fantasy from Jen Louden.

16. 16 Habits Of Highly Sensitive People on Huffington Post. The only one I disagree with is the last one should have a work from home option.

17. Southern Corn Cakes recipe on My Mother’s Apron Strings. Look so yummy.

18. What Happens When You Put Two Pit Bulls In A Photo Booth from Bored Panda.

19. What This Dad Did Is Awesome! I’m On His Side…

20. This Couple Spotted An Old Can While Walking Their Dog. You Will NEVER Guess What Was In It. Why doesn’t this kind of stuff ever happen to me?

21. creativeLIVE free course: Become a Better Communicator with Susan Piver.

22. 21 Truths About Meaningful Work from Create as Folk.

23. Binge Trance: Interrupted from Geneen Roth, which says “Live as if you deserve to be here, regardless of what you have just eaten. And know that every time you remind yourself that you belong here, regardless of what you weigh, you are speaking the truth.”

24. From MindBodyGreen: Vegan Cookie Dough Balls recipe and 10 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Yoga.

25. Here’s How Ann Handley (the World’s First Chief Content Officer) Writes on Copy Blogger, in which she says, “My most productive time of day seems to be between 10 a.m. and 10:20 a.m. every morning: I’m still caffeinated from the morning and not yet distracted by thoughts of lunch.”

26. Mary Lambert’s Tips For Staying Positive (Even On Really Bad Days) on BuzzFeed.

27. Wisdom from Isabel Foxen Duke, “What if the answer to feeling badly about yourself wasn’t losing 10lbs; what if the answer to feeling badly about yourself was a shift in perception?”