Monthly Archives: April 2018

Something Good

Horsetooth Reservoir, image by Eric

1. Wisdom from Pema Chödrön. I’ve shared this quote a bazillion times because it’s one of my favorites, but I feel the need to share again. I heard a few people this weekend urge others to reframe the negative, focus on the positive, which isn’t exactly workable or sustainable or real. As Pema says, we need to make room for all of it.

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

2. Waffle House shooting hero James Shaw Jr. raises $165,000 for victims.

3. The Rachel Dolezal Documentary Is a Hollow, Manipulative Spectacle.

4. White feminism, white supremacy & the silencing of black women from Layla Seed. Do yourself (and the rest of us) a favor and watch the video.

5. The big break from Alexandra Franzen. Spoiler alert: “The big break is the moment you decide to take your dream seriously.”

6. What Fullness Is: On getting weight reduction surgery from Roxane Gay. In related news, Nobody Owes You Fat Positivity: On Weight Loss Surgery as “Betrayal.”

7. Can Sobriety Be as Interesting as Addiction? A Writer Wonders on The New York Times.

8. Troll Shows Exactly Why Article Was Necessary from Dances with Fat.

9. Judge to Man Who Said Wearing ‘MAGA’ Hat Is Part of His Religion: GTFOHWTBS.

10. Love & Liberation Require Listening: An Open Essay to Marianne Williamson from Alexis P. Morgan.

11. 37 Brutally Honest Tweets By Women Tired Of The Male A$$holery.

12. Seattle Vacates Hundreds of Marijuana Charges Going Back 30 Years.

13. Your Fat Stigma Is Racist – Here Are 6 Ways to Shift That.

14. Calling the Police on Black People Can Put Them in Danger. In related news, When Calling the Police Is a Privilege.

15. Recipe I want to try: Joanna Gaines’ Biscuit Recipe Is The Star Of Her ‘Magnolia Table’ Cookbook.

16. Lynching memorial leaves some quietly seething: ‘Let sleeping dogs lie.’ “The brutal new memorial to the south’s dark side has left some in Alabama frustrated and angry at its insistence on confronting the past.” Such bullshit. Until we are honest about it, confront it, and own it, it will continue to do damage. It doesn’t go away, the harm doesn’t disappear just because we refuse or resist the truth. Willful ignorance is toxic. In related news, A Lynching Memorial is Opening. The Country Has Never Seen Anything Like It. on The New York Times.

17. W. Kamau Bell was kicked out of a California cafe in 2015, when the manager thought he was “harassing” his white wife and baby girl. (video)

18. A collage of the critters who have visited “The Log” over this past, almost year. (video)

19. Watch out for baby bunnies nesting in your lawn. (video)

20. Bill Cosby is Found Guilty of Sexual Assault from The New York Times.

21. Turn into an angel with these wearable, moving wings. (video)

22. This is what white privilege looks like. (video)

23. This dog was used in dogfighting – until this woman stepped in and gave him a safe place to heal. (video) She may have given him a safe place to heal, but it was other dogs that taught him it was okay to just be a dog again.

24. Is white America ready to confront its racism? Philosopher George Yancy says we need a ‘crisis.’

25. How to Be a Better White Person.

26. This Cosplayer Can Turn Himself Into Any Character, And The Result Is Disturbingly Good.

27. When Fat People Clap Back At Fatphobes.

28. We Are Each Other’s Keepers from Jena Schwartz.

29. Watch the full Michelle Wolf roast that set the entire internet ablaze after The White House Correspondents’ Dinner. (video)

30. Use your white privilege to fight racism.

Gratitude Friday (on a Sunday)

1. Morning walks. There is a litter of baby foxes by the McMurray Ponds, but I haven’t gotten there early enough to see them yet. We did see their mama out hunting the other day though. I hope I get to see them at least once before they are all grown and gone.

2. Spring. Everything is blooming and turning so green.

3. I am stronger than I thought. I went to a yoga workshop this weekend, spent almost ten hours doing yoga over the course of 48 hours. It wasn’t gentle or easy. In fact, it was difficult and new and challenging. And yet, my body feels amazing! I’m pretty sure I have Pilates to thank for that, and in particular my teacher Ashley. Sure my regular yoga practice and all the time I spend in the pool are awesome, but it’s Pilates and the body awareness Ashley’s taught me that have made me strong.

4. Eric. I can’t wait for summer vacation (two weeks and two days of work left) to get to spend some more time with him. There have been days in these past few weeks that we’ve only seen each other for about 15 minutes in an entire day!

5. Ringo and Sam. Together they can sometimes be almost too much, but as individuals they are so sweet and good and funny.

What it looks like when you are tired from playing so hard but you still want to keep playing

Waiting for dinner

So sweet

Still has a bare patch on his belly from when he got his ultrasound

This was always Dexter’s favorite spot

Just chillin’

Bonus joy: getting in the sauna, the noise of the birds singing in the morning, clean sheets, headstands, having tea with one of my favorite people, an amazing poetry reading, cupcakes, bran muffins with dried raspberries, pay day (the part before you pay all the bills), women willing to do the work even when they risk their own comfort and safety, good TV, daffodils.

Something Good

Heron fishing on the Cache La Poudre River

1. 7 Things You Should Know About INFJs, the Rarest Personality Type, or an alternative title, “Let Me Introduce Myself.” In related news, Why My Introversion Is Not ‘Getting Better.’

2. Unruly Bodies Love Letters: The body navigating 40 years of self loathing.

3. Geneen Roth is Perpetuating Eating Disorders.

4. Prince – Nothing Compares 2 U [OFFICIAL VIDEO]. I have a soft spot for the Sinéad O’Conner version of this song, having spent hours in my car, sobbing and listening to it on repeat, but this Prince version being released now, two years after his death, is almost too much — more hours spent in my car, sobbing and listening to it on repeat. In related news, Prince’s Only Recording of ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ Has Finally Been Released. It’s Fucking Incredible.

5. This 4-year-old boy is using his allowance to feed the homeless. (video)

6. This couple opens their doors to those fighting for their beliefs. (video)

7. 100 Ways White People Can Make Life Less Frustrating For People of Color. Read, rinse, and repeat. As many times as necessary. And in related news, Alternatives to Crying, Collapsing, and Crumbling in a Heap of White Fragility from Jena Schwartz and About the Weary Weaponizing of White Women Tears.

8. It Doesn’t Just Happen at Starbucks. Teachers Need Racial Bias Training Too. “The question is not what is Starbucks doing to learn from this incident, but what about the rest of us? Are we ready to do the work necessary to dismantle our deeply entrenched biases?”

9. The World Is Our Field of Practice angel Kyodo williams on On Being. In related news, Episode 001 of CTZN podcast with angel Kyodo williams.

10. ‘When You Know That You Did Nothing Wrong, How Do You Really React?’: Men Arrested in Philly Starbucks Speak Out. In related news, Why Starbucks shouldn’t be praised for its misguided racism workshops, and Companies like Starbucks love anti-bias training. But it doesn’t work — and may backfire. and From Starbucks to Hashtags: We Need to Talk About Why White Americans Call the Police on Black People.

11. Jumanji’s Ser’Darius Blain hid his childhood sexual assault for years — but now he’s speaking up and helping break the stigma around mental health for Black men. (video)

12. How to Make White People Uncomfortable.

13. This man says his childhood bully is now the superintendent of the local school district—and he finally confronted him. (video) The bad news is if you are a white cis male, you might never have to take responsibility for the harm you’ve done. In fact, you might go on to be rewarded by success in your life, even as the people you harmed continue to suffer.

14. 10 ways you can actively reject your white privilege.

15. Drew Barrymore Illustrates Our Issues with Food and Weight from Dances with Fat.

16. Waffle House shooting victims ID’d as worker, star athlete, music artist. In related news, Video of Waffle House arrest by Saraland police sparks community outrage.

17. Mini Dwarf Pony Who Could Barely Walk Finally Gets To Run. (video)

18. Colin Kaepernick named Amnesty International Ambassador of Conscience. As I’ve said before, he’s too good for football.

Gratitude Friday

1. Spring. The days are so much longer, there is so much more light and green and life, and I only have another three weeks and three days left of work before summer break.

2. Morning walks. I am sad that Sam is on restriction, but it is SO much easier to walk just one dog!

3. Trusting myself to do the right thing. Even if I’m afraid, even if it’s difficult to explain, even if it will be hard, even if other people might thing I’m nuts.

4. Sam and Ringo. They are good company, keep me from spending all my time inside my own head.

There is a heron standing in the river that’s hard to see in this picture because it’s the same color as the water, but Ringo for sure sees it

 

“We’ll guard this lasagna with our lives, Mom.”

5. Eric. He loves me, takes care of me, cheers me up, makes me laugh.

Bonus joy: getting a massage, my new swimming suits (chlorine resistant), a warm pool (the heater was broken for almost a month), sitting in the sauna, clean sheets, kimchi, having all the laundry done and put away, the bright yellow of daffodils and forsythia and even dandelions, clean water, electricity, chocolate, Wild Writing.

Something Good

Image by Eric

1. Dear White People: If a Memorial Dedicated to Lynchings of Black People Makes You Uncomfortable, Good. In related news, This new lynching memorial rewrites American history.

2. RadioLab, Border Trilogy Part 1: Hole in the Fence.

3. Surviving the Ordinary: Why We Need Memoirs of Regular Lives.

4. Blackface Leads to Fraternity Suspension at Cal Poly on The New York Times. In related news (i.e. whyte people being stupid), Philly Starbucks arrests: What we know (and what we don’t) and Black Teen Who Missed Bus to School Gets Shot at While Trying to Ask for Directions and Teen with full ride to 20 colleges requests public apology from Fox affiliate in order to air interview. The foundation of the “American Dream” is white supremacy and racism. This is what DT and people like him mean by “Make America Great Again.” Bullshit like these stories is why #BlackLivesMatter is necessary. And don’t be confused or willfully ignorant about what’s happening – people are dying, being harmed and murdered. It’s real, true, and dire. The people living this experience have been trying to tell us and we haven’t listened, haven’t helped. It’s TIME.

5. The Last O.G. I watched the pilot of this show for free on the TBS app, and it was so good I immediately bought it on Amazon Prime so I could watch it. So far, it’s really good.

6. Charles Soule: On Finding The Joy.

Making a career in creativity is itself a hugely creative act. It doesn’t just spontaneously happen. You have to build it, step by step, just as you do the individual creations themselves. It’s time plus dedication plus skill – whether innate or cultivated, ideally both.

So…how? Who the hell would put themselves through something like that? More particularly, why, when there are easier ways to make a living, with more guarantees.

Because of the joy of it.

7. The Most Important Writing Advice You Need Right Now from Chuck Wendig on Terrible Minds.

8. The hidden crisis on college campuses: Many students don’t have enough to eat.

9. Almost all violent extremists share one thing: their gender.

So this is how it works: These young men feel entitled to a sense of belonging and community, of holding unchallenged moral authority over women and children, and of feeling that they count in the world and that their lives matter.

Experiencing threats to the lives they feel they deserve leads these young men to feel ashamed and humiliated. And it is this aggrieved entitlement – entitlement thwarted and frustrated – that leads some men to search for a way to redeem themselves as men, to restore and retrieve that sense of manhood that has been lost.

10. Easy as 1-2-3, a mediation on making art.

11. Even if you don’t feel ready from Alexandra Franzen.

12. 5 Books that Changed Junot Díaz’s Life. (video)

13. A Prince Tribute Bloomed And Gave The Late Singer The Crown He Deserves.

14. Devonte Hart’s biological mom: They gave my kids ‘to monsters.’ Just when you think this story couldn’t get any worse…

15. Love, Simon is not the only film depicting the lives of young, queer people. Here are 62 more.

16. Gemma the pit bull loved her little brother Elliott from the minute she met him when he was just a newborn baby. (video)

17. This is why dogs are THE GREATEST ANIMAL ON EARTH! (video)

18. Jack in the Box. (video) It seems like the way a child reacts to this is a good indicator of how they are going to handle the chaos of the rest of their lives.

19. Dismantling White Dominance in Women’s Entrepreneurship: Potent Conversations with BIWOC Countering the Narrative Right Now, a free masterclass.

20. I Feel Pretty, Not Delusional by Ragen Chastain from Dances with Fat.

21. Tank the pitbull singing his favorite song, Tennessee Whiskey. (video)

22. A Few Things to Know About American Sign Language. (video)

Gratitude Friday, on a Sunday

1. Me. I posted this picture on Instagram this week with the caption: “Not gonna lie, don’t know how I’m still standing. Five more weeks of work, then a whole summer to rest, find myself again, and consider what to do next.” The fact that no matter how hurt or tired or DONE I am, I keep going, don’t give up, is something I’m very grateful for.

2. Morning walks. Still just me and Ringo (Sam gets to go around the block once a day, but that’s it for now). This week we saw two owls having a chat, a giant heron, a huge bald eagle, and lots of deer.

3. Living close to the water. I still miss the ocean, but all the ponds and the river so close by make it easier.

4. Practice. Yoga, writing, meditation, and dog.

5. My tiny family. When the world and people are too much, too chaotic, too toxic, these three save me. Like poet Rudy Francisco‏ shared on Twitter , “Home is any place that makes you forget the world is on fire.”

Bonus joy: Sam still not limping which leads to the hope he can start some physical therapy and get stronger and continue to get better and one day go on a regular walk, lunch with friends, Wild Writing, naps, aqua aerobics, the sauna, clean sheets, no plans, sunshine, things blooming and getting green.

Something Good

From our morning walk, moon over Wood Duck Pond

1. Poems of Protest, Resistance, and Empowerment, a special collection from the Poetry Foundation. #NationalPoetryMonth

2. A white mob wiped this all-black Florida town off the map.

3. The Suffering of Busyness on Lion’s Roar.

4. How to keep going, a talk by Austin Kleon at Bond in San Francisco. “It’s a list of 10 things that have helped me stay creative in such chaotic times.”

5. Baffled by Conceptual Art? So Are Will Ferrell and Joel McHale in This Museum’s Short Film.

6. The Time for Art Is Now. “Art has the power to alter our interior selves, and in so doing to inspire, exhilarate, provoke, connect, and rouse us. As we are changed, our souls are awakened to possibility—immeasurable, yes, and potentially infinite. If ever there was a time for art, it’s now.”

7. “Do The Thing?” — An FAQ About Doing The Thing from Chuck Wendig on Terrible Minds.

8. I Revised These Popular Feminist Articles and Now They’re Troll-Proof, “A guide to spotting and dealing with tone policing.”

9. What I Tell Myself When I’m Feeling Down by the amazing Laurie Wagner.

10. The Internet Is Obsessed With This Puppy With Mickey Mouse Ears, And Her Photos Will Make Your Day. She doesn’t even seem real.

11. To The White Woman I Can No Longer Be Friends With.

12. Black Lives Matter Cofounder Patrisse Khan-Cullors Is Only Getting Started. “We talked to the activist about her new memoir, #MeToo, and the importance of self-care when you’re pushing for major change.”

13. Recipe I want to try, that’s actually from eight years ago, but still…spinach and chickpeas.

14. We can’t ignore race in the tragic story of Devonte Hart and his white adoptive mothers. In related news, Withering Under the White Gaze: The Hart Family Tragedy.

15. King’s Mountaintop, 50 Years Later. (video)

16. Protesters at NYC Stephon Clark Protest Discuss the Relationship Between Gun Violence and Race. (video)

17. Popular Life Coach Tony Robbins Tried to Mansplain #MeToo—and Movement Founder Tarana Burke Responded. She is an amazing woman. He is a tool. In related news, Anthony Robbins, where have you been?

18. “SNL”: T’Challa struggles to compete on “Black Jeopardy.”

19. A haunting underwater choreography, dedicated to all the women of the world. (video)

20. This too-relatable SNL commercial for Pro-Chiller Leggings makes us wish we could buy them for real. *tee-hee*

21. 5 Truths About White Privilege for White People from John Pavlovitz.

22. WATCH: “Out Again” | #ShortFilmSundays (video) “Cat visits her parents for the weekend and is confronted with her mother’s inability to remember one key detail. Written by and staring Robin Cloud.” Check out the rest of Issa Rae Presents YouTube channel. There’s some really great stuff on there.