Shower, Eat, and Meditate

janmorningskyEven though I’ve been posting Small Stones and I rewrote my About page, I’ve skipped some of my regular posts lately, didn’t do a Three Truths and One Wish this week, haven’t been Wishcasting regularly, and in general, I feel like I haven’t been “around” as much lately. And yet, it’s been a necessary shift.

This past week, I started as a teaching assistant for Mondo Beyondo. That course is even more amazing than I remember, and this time through, I’m seeing so many new things, still getting so much out of it for myself as a student. I’m so eager for Andrea to feel like it was right and good to ask me to help, and so excited for the wonderful people involved, so happy to be there that I have to be careful to not run around like a big clumsy Great Dane puppy, barking and knocking things over and generally annoying everyone with my enthusiasm. I’m trying to be really careful to keep the “volume” down, but I just love that class and Andrea’s work so much–but you already knew that. (P.S. Cultivating Courage starts on Monday, January 14th, and there’s still room in Mondo Beyondo).

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In other news, I’m trying not to panic that I have to start back at my paid work on Monday. This morning, I made a “Big To-Do” list of everything I have going on next week, in the hopes I could put that all aside, having it now organized, and not have to think about it anymore this weekend. That sort of worked, but then again all day I’ve been thinking today is Sunday, that I start back tomorrow, and that doesn’t feel nice.

Here’s the real issue: I currently have two full-time jobs, my paid work and my heart’s work. And it is about to get even crazier, because on Monday two more classes will start, Cultivating Courage and The Story of You. I have two long meetings next week, and had to schedule things like getting a haircut, going to the eye doctor, and having the plumber finally come fix our leaky sink in the bathroom, along with going back to CSU and doing that work.

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My strategy, my mantra has become “shower, eat, and meditate.” I already have a set morning routine, what happens from 4:30-8:00 am–feed the dogs, drink half a cup of coffee while I write my morning pages, check in with my email and Facebook and blog, and then either walk the dogs, go to yoga or the gym. Where I can get stuck is when I come back home to get ready for work, what happens between 8 and 9 am. I got in the habit while on break of “just checking one thing, real quick” before getting in the shower, which would usually lead to me being on the computer for two or three hours instead, and by then being so hungry that I’d eat whatever was fast, not what I really wanted or what was healthy, and once I showered, it would be so late, I’d think “I can’t meditate now, I have work I want to do, so I’ll meditate later,” and later never came because by the time I’d stop working, I was too tired, would allow myself to skip it.

So this mantra, “shower, eat, and mediate,” reminds me to take care of myself, both literally (these are the things I need to do first thing, that I seem to need help remembering, that I tend to skip in order to help or love someone else) and it also triggers a bigger remembering of necessary self-care, self-love, reminding me of the place to begin, to let go and come back to center.

And this busyness, this activity is just how things are going to have to be for awhile. Unless my fairy godmother shows up, I win the lottery, or a kind benefactor decides to fund my heart’s work, I need to keep my job that pays. As for the rest, I will keep taking tiny steps, dreaming my big dreams, anticipating mystery and magic and surprises, and learning to love and care for myself along the way. This is my life, and I am completely in love with it.

6 thoughts on “Shower, Eat, and Meditate

    1. jillsalahub Post author

      I’m only assisting, Christa, but what a great entry into ecourses for me, from that side of things. I have been a student in so many, and Andrea is giving me the biggest gift inviting me to help her. I keep pinching myself. And yes, stuff is certainly blossoming in my world, like the wildest of springs. ♥

      Reply
  1. pittsburghphd

    I have been feeling the same way Jill. I don’t get up anywhere close to 4:30 am, but when I do I feel like I have to jump right into everything I need to do and then by the time I get to showering, eating, and meditating, there isn’t enough time left for everything and I cut corners on my own self care. You know how financial planners tell us we should pay ourselves first by adding to a savings account before we pay our other bills? Maybe we need to take the same approach to self care. Pay ourselves first so that we have the reserves we need to serve others. I know that if I spend too many days ignoring my own needs I run out of energy and become resentful and sometimes ill. Here’s to a week of self care–I’m making it my goal.

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      Exactly–we need to put on our own oxygen mask before attempting to help anyone else. I really am working right now with where to place my focus, where to direct my energy, how to spend my time, because I can’t possibly do everything on the list, and it’s very clear to me that some version of “shower, eat, meditate” needs to be the priority. I’ll keep reminding you if you remind me 🙂

      Reply

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