Whether you have your mother or don’t, whether you are a mother or aren’t, I invite you to consider all the traits that you believe make for a wonderful Mama. Today, notice and celebrate all of that within YOU, you powerful, compassionate, nurturing, creative, fierce, tender, resilient Love, You! ~Tanya Geisler
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again today, I am so grateful, so lucky to have the mom I do. I think about those without a mother, whether their mother has died or is simply absent or ineffective, and about what a sad thing that is, to have to become your own mother. For my entire life, I’ve had a mother who loves me, who wanted me, who took care of me and still does, when I let her. She has been and is a constant, loving presence in my life. I am so lucky. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
And to balance out the love fest, and because I am not a mother myself, I offer you Why I Hate Mother’s Day by Anne Lamott.
And finally, because he’s adorable and always makes me smile, a Mother’s Day message from Kid President.
P.S. A beautiful note from Geneen Roth this morning,
First, I wanted to wish you all a happy, sweet Mother’s Day. Whether you are a mother of a child or not, hopefully, you mother yourself, and you do with all the love you can muster.
So, today, whatever the situation, muster that love. That kindness. Allow yourself to make room for yourself. Sometimes that’s all it takes. We keep shoving ourselves out of the way, keep wanting to distract ourselves or numb ourselves from what we’re feeling. Muster the love. Lavish yourself with kindness. See what happens.
The present moment is your ally: We might ask, “Given my present situation, how long should I stay with uncomfortable feelings?” This is a good question, yet there is no right answer. We simply get accustomed to coming back to the present just as it is for a second, for a minute, for an hour—whatever is currently natural—without its becoming an endurance trial. Just pausing for two to three breaths is a perfect way to stay present. This is a good use of our life. Indeed, it is an excellent, joyful use of our life. Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, we can learn to accept the present moment as if we had invited it, and work with it instead of against it, making it our ally rather than our enemy.
I tell my retreat students that having a practice they do everyday is important. It doesn’t matter what it is. Meditating, gardening, writing, walking, feeding birds. What matters is that you pay attention. What matters is that you have the intention to show up for yourself and have the chance, on a daily level, to ground yourself in the you that isn’t caught up in the emails, errands, natterings. It’s a way you get to be loyal to what matters to you. A promise you make to yourself that this day can also be for you.
And a really cool video of her feeding hummingbirds,
And this,
When I am willing to question and therefore feel whatever is there–hatred (that’s a big one!), anger, sadness–with tenderness and curiosity, the feelings relax because they are met with kindness and openness instead of resistance and rejection. The hard part is that I have to be willing to tolerate discomfort for a moment. Or three.
Think about what it’s like for you to be met by someone else with kindness. And then think about being met with rejection. It’s such a difference. Think about what you would give to a child who is hurting. And then take a leap. Be as loving to yourself as you would be to a child. As you would be to anyone you love who needs your attention. Over and over, this is the practice. A fierce kind of love. An unwillingness to devolve into pushing and blaming. It starts with you, now.
5. From Sakyong Mipham, “We want to infuse our day with good habits so that we can turn seemingly mundane situations into a ceremony of goodness,” and “In order to be brave, we must trust that underneath it all, there is sanity and openness.”
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
The process of awakening is a movement towards the real. In order for this to occur, the false will unavoidably have to be deconstructed. This is never easy. What is easy or hard to deal with is intimately related to what it is that is going away. Oftentimes, you believe that the walls that are falling apart are the walls of your house but, in truth, they are the walls of a prison cell.
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 