Gratitude Friday

1. The season of blooms. It has been a cool, rainy spring, and the flowers have loved it. So have the strawberries.

2. Practice. I’m getting more and more clear that I am in recovery from full on burnout (“a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress”), and practice is helping me not spin out about it.

3. Healing, and trusting that I know what to do. Besides my current state of burnout, which requires spending some time every day in a dark quiet spot among other things, I’ve been dealing with the pain of osteoarthritis in my knees (as well as chronic tendinitis and some meniscus tearing) for the past four years, so bad that I take a THC gummy every night just so I can sleep. I’ve tried everything, even started to think I maybe needed surgery in one knee. Then Eric asked me to sign up for a pretty intense small group fitness class at the gym with him. He’s training for a Tough Mudder and I have trouble getting more intense cardio now that I can’t run anymore, even though I’m super active. Starting out, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do it, thought it would hurt or even wreck my knees. It feels like some kind of miracle, and was certainly something I didn’t know, but this particular intensity and variation of movement makes my knees feel better! Eric found this article that explains the phenomenon: If your knee hurts, keep exercising, says expert.

4. I don’t have a job. Nine years ago, I got out of a horribly toxic work situation and had my first summer off. When I went back to my job in the fall, I expected things to be better. While some things were, (like I no longer had to constantly engage with an abusive narcissist), other hard things stayed the same, (like the unsustainable workload and the stress that caused). I tried for nine years to make it work, but during that time I also put effort towards a backup plan, giving myself other options. When it became clear that not only was I not having any fun anymore but the work was impacting my health and wellbeing in a negative way, I knew I needed to shift. I’m still in recovery mode, but it was the absolute right choice. I also know my choice was a direct result of my privilege.

5. My tiny family. I really would rather spend time with them than anyone else.

Bonus joy: Wild Writing with Laurie, hanging out with Mikalina, texting with Chloe’, plans to see Andrea Gibson with Carrie, dinner with Chelsey and Jon, aqua aerobics, Pilates, teaching yoga, how good Sam is doing after injuring his back last year, how much of a kid Ringo can still be at 5.5 years old, good TV (how much HGTV can one human watch?!), a cool rainy day when I didn’t really want to get out of my pjs anyway, bread, strawberries, a cold glass of clean water, a warm shower, forgetting what day it is, taking a long nap.

I'd love to hear what you think, kind and gentle reader.

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