Monthly Archives: August 2016

Gratitude Friday

goodboys

1. My boys. Other than pictures for the August Break photo challenge and a whole bunch for work, the only thing I had time to take pictures of this week were these two. They are doing so well with their training, and continue to be such good company.

2. A new therapist. She’s good. I like her and I needed it. Bonus joy: since I’ve met my yearly deductible and she bills my insurance, it’s cheap.

3. Good books. Reading is one of the only true pleasures I manage to give myself no matter how busy or tired I am otherwise.

4. Cooler weather. I know I wasn’t even here for the worst of the summer weather this year, but I still had plenty enough of it to be over it.

5. Friday. There’s lots to do this weekend, but I’m still looking forward to a few days off from work to rest and have a bit of fun.

Bonus joy: coming home tired from work and Eric having dinner ready and dogs walked, clean sheets, soaking in the tub, a waterproof phone, my new car, seven applications for the internship position I’d filled at the end of last semester but had to rehire for at the last minute, knowing who I am, allowing myself to rest when I need it, sitting in the shade in the backyard, the sound of bees, a really good salad, fresh cucumbers from my garden, good neighbors, being able to say “no,” a good pair of jeans.

Three Truths and One Wish

From our walk this morning

From our walk this morning

1. Truth: This is not sustainable. And by “this,” I mean the way I’m doing life. I am trying to do all the things, and then some. Even if I weren’t a highly sensitive introvert with an autoimmune disorder and lingering PTSD, it would be too much for me to keep up.

2. Truth: Even though I know that, I don’t know how to stop, or even slow down. My therapist asked me what I might be able to let go of, and I couldn’t think of a single thing. Not only that, what I started thinking about instead were all the things I wanted to add, needed to do in addition to what I’m already doing.

3. Truth: I hope the solution doesn’t arise from the ashes of a full on burnout. I’d really like to figure this out before hitting some awful rock bottom. I’d like to make choices about what I want and what to do from a place where I feel like I have options, not a place of chaos, panic, or collapse.

One wish: May my choices come from pure love and wisdom, reflecting sanity and clarity rather than fear or confusion or exhaustion.