July | 2016 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

beachsign 1. Long walks on the beach. We’ve figured out this past week by walking various stretches of beach that there is about 13 miles (one way) of walkable beach in our direct vicinity, and that except for the Alsea Bay inlet which you only would be able to maybe cross during an extremely low tide and maybe not even then, you could walk all the way from Seal Rock to Yachats. And, in the other direction, from Brian Booth State Park you could walk all the way to South Beach State Park, another six miles (one way). It’s been fun walking it all and figuring it out with our feet.

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2. Another strawberry pie. Yum.

strawberrypie 3. Spending time with family and friends. Dinner and a walk on the beach at sunset, lunch and cards, movie days.

nyebeachsunset 4. My tiny family. Anywhere can be home, as long as they are with me.

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5. When the worst doesn’t happen. Even though someday it will.

Bonus joy: warm clam chowder, hush puppies with crab, a long nap, permission to watch tv all day if I want, good weather for our walks, a washer and dryer, the Newport Farmer’s Market, mostly reliable wi-fi, my new car, being able to manage my anxiety, meditation, stretching, a bed that isn’t horrible, whole clove garlic bread, clif bars, remembering how to play cards and how fun it can be, not needing to check my phone all the time, relief from guilt, clean water, a warm shower.

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1. Truth: One of the ways I generate suffering for myself is by taking responsibility … for e v e r y thing. It can be incredibly painful. No matter what happens — someone I love is sick or someone else is in crisis or someone I don’t even know is suffering — my first reaction is I should do something. I feel responsible, think I should help or fix it, and when I can’t or I don’t know what to do, I suffer.

2. Truth: To not take responsibility is equally harmful. Someone I love very much is an addict, but the real issue isn’t so much her drug of choice but rather the ground of her addiction — her inability to take responsibility. It isn’t just that she doesn’t “take the blame” when she does something harmful, she also doesn’t see how she can make choices in her life, have some measure of control over what happens to her, that she can change things if she wants, make things better. She is trapped in the belief that her life happens to her.

3. Truth: There is always a middle way. We don’t have to take responsibility for everything, but it’s good to take some measure — to be accountable, involved, engaged, helpful. We can cultivate wisdom and compassion, have agency and practice the sanity of right action, and ask for forgiveness and make amends when we falter.

One wish: May we have “the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”