Monthly Archives: July 2012

Three Truths and One Wish

1. Truth: I am afraid of the truth, because sometimes it’s so ugly, heavy and dark. Change is inevitable, impermanence is one of the only things we can count on, reality is groundless and much of the time I can’t trust my perception of it anyway, there’s nothing stable to hold on to, and everything, all the time is coming together and falling apart. The world isn’t a safe place and really bad things happen, and I can’t stop many of those bad things from happening, no matter how careful, diligent, or perfect I am, no matter how hard I work or try. No matter how much we love someone, they will eventually die, we will be separated. All of our plans and insurance and hope can’t save us. Sometimes the truth of this paralyzes me, makes me so afraid that I am stuck, helpless.

2. Truth: I am afraid of the truth, because sometimes it’s so big and bright, full of love and amazing. Yesterday on Facebook, Raam Dev posted this: “Unless you’re prepared with the courage to receive it, what you want won’t come to you.” I am afraid to be loved, to live my dreams, to open my whole heart completely to my life. I am afraid to believe that I am basically good, innately wise and compassionate and therefore powerful. I can’t face how truly brilliant and precious I am. I fear the full measure of my true light is too big, will destroy me, burn me up, that I won’t be able to handle it, I am afraid I’ll ruin it, screw it up, not do it right, that I have access to so much good but no skill or courage for manifesting it. I’m afraid of the responsibility that comes with that power, that light, and am unable to face it, to look directly at it, to connect with it, to embody it.

3. Truth: Understanding that I am afraid, I open myself to the truth, to life, willing to be broken, inviting love. As Susan Piver so often reminds me, all I have to do is show up with an open heart.

I am basically good.
All beings possess such goodness.
Knowing this, my heart opens.
When my heart opens, the world changes.
~Susan Piver

One Wish: That even with our fears, even with the blinding light and brutal weight of the truth, we can continue to show up with open hearts and try.

God Speaks

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

Something Good

we have tomatoes!

In putting together today’s list, I am going back through about 150+ old emails that have accumulated over the past month to find the good stuff I can share. The good news for me is that by the end, I’ll have caught up with my email, for about five minutes…
 
1. This quote from Pema Chödrön: “When we practice meditation we are strengthening our ability to be steadfast with ourselves. No matter what comes up – aching bones, boredom, falling asleep, or the wildest thoughts and emotions – we develop a loyalty to our experience.” The month we were gone, I relaxed my meditation practice, wasn’t sitting as often as I typically do (I try to maintain a daily practice, even if all I can do is ten minutes). Now that we are back home in Colorado, I am trying to get back into my normal routine, and quotes like this help, reinforcing my intention, my reason for practice: to develop a loyalty to my experience, to myself.

2. In related good news, this quote from Susan Piver: “your meditation practice is the most helpful tool there is for finding your own voice. As you relax with yourself exactly as you are, insights arise and observations occur. You see how your mind works, what makes it open and what causes it to shut down. There is nothing you have to do to accrue such observations–except to sit, slow down, and look yourself–this precious, wonderful, brilliant, one-of-a-kind being–right in the eye.” This was from an email through the Open Heart Project, Practitioner level, which is also, with love and wisdom, helping me reestablish my daily practice.

3. The $100 Investment: How One Person Really Can Change the World by Lissa Rankin. I am still trying to decide what to do with the $100 I got at the World Domination Summit, and am loving hearing other people’s ideas.

4. When The Fires Came For Us by Laura Pritchett. Local author’s personal story about the High Park Fire.

5. Start small, but start from Patti Digh at 37Days. Such loving wisdom. Spot on. Her Thinking Thursday post this past week was also packed full of amazingness.

6. Anne Lamott has a new book coming out!

7. The Next Right Action on Scoutie Girl. More wisdom about getting moving, “you don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward.”

8. “What is saving your life right now?” I am in love with this question, which I found by way of Lindsey on A Design So Vast, who was sharing something from a post on Saray Bessey’s blog.

9. Two good posts from Life is Limitless: Be honest, be true, be you and What writing can reveal.

10. Maira Kalman on Identity, Happiness, and Existence on Brain Pickings.

11. Shedding a Little Light on Carry It Forward. Especially this part:

It’s easier, of course, to hate. So much easier. And as we are human beings living in a fast paced, stress filled world, easier often wins.

Bringing love and light to the world is hard work. It involves courage, bravery, and standing on your own two feet. Not easy.

And yet? In the end, it’s what will lead us out.

Amen.

12. 3 Bear Cubs Rescued from Dumpster. You most likely already saw this, but just in case, I don’t want you to miss it.

13. Okay, confession time: I only made it through about 50 emails, but I need to be done now, can’t do this any longer (it is lunch time and there are dogs to be walked, week old unpacking that still needs done, along with some organizing and purging), so I will leave you with this adorable picture of my friend Theresa’s dog, Mr. Wilson. Theresa is a pet groomer with a great little shop in Stayton, Oregon, and if you live in the area and need dog grooming, you should totally go there: D’-Tail Pet Grooming. She’s one of the few people I know that is as nuts about dogs as I am.

mr. wilson, “stuffed chair”