Tag Archives: Rest

Gratitude Friday

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decembersky02This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. We are still here. I don’t actually believe in dire catastrophic predictable “the world will end on this certain date and time” scenarios. I think think it will either come in a flash without warning, or be clearly on its way, coming at a slow creep but equally unstoppable, and I think that if it happens it will be kind of like how our individual deaths will come–as either a surprise, a shock, suddenly, or at the end of a long goodbye. And yet, I did today as I do when I wake up every morning and felt gratitude for still being here, for getting another chance to ease suffering in the world and in myself, to begin again.

2. Netflix and Hulu, TV on demand. I don’t want or need TV all the time, but when I am tired and need to rest on the couch, when sleeping is too much but reading would be too hard and I don’t want to stare at my toes or the wall, when I want someone to tell me a story, I want to be able to watch. Sometimes that might mean an important documentary like Half the Sky, and others it might mean something silly and slightly creepy like the entire three seasons of United States of Tara.

3. SNOW!!! We finally got some, only about four inches but so beautiful and cold and quiet. More, please.

4. Christmas Music and The Happy Holiday Hearth. Probably because of Dexter’s cancer and “what happened last Friday,” I am feeling extra raw, homesick and weepy this season, wishing for the long gone days of Christmas at Grandma’s Farm. Along with twinkly lights, classic holiday music sung by voices much loved but long gone and my fireplace dvd bring me comfort. (Don’t mock me until you’ve tried it–it’s all kinds of awesome).

happyholidayhearth5. Permission to take it easy. I’m at least a week behind on Reverb12 posts, my house is a mess, laundry needs done, the checkbook should have been balanced almost a month ago, I didn’t do any Christmas cards or bake, lots of people I normally give to this time of year might feel slighted, but I just don’t have it in me. I am honoring instead how hard I’ve been working this year, how much I’ve accomplished, how many times I tried and failed, how much is still left to do, and giving myself permission to rest, to give up, surrender, let go and just be.

Bonus Joy: Dexter is still here. Apparently, he plans on sticking around for Christmas, so I bought him presents yesterday, three new “babies.” This picture was taken on Sunday morning towards the end of our walk. His left eye is running, (a symptom of the tumor in his nose), so he looks sort of like a Goth dog.

dextereye

Wishcasting Wednesday

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WinterJamie

image from jamie’s post. i haven’t wishcasted in a few weeks, and oh how i’ve missed it.

What is your Winter wish?

To hibernate, like the marmots, turtles, bumble bees and bears. To do as nature does and slow down, lie dormant, get still and quiet for a long deep rest.

For stillness and quiet, for space and ease.

For twinkly lights, the kind white blanket of snow, the smell of pine and cinnamon, the taste of peppermint and ginger, the sound of those old classic Christmas carols sung by voices still remembered and loved but long gone, wool socks and down blankets and flannel pjs, 100 different kinds of cookies, connection and laughter, so much that my face and stomach hurt from it.

For acceptance, this year is what it is and thankfully it’s too late now to change it, to do any kind of catching up or extra credit, there’s no going back, no do-overs, no amount of rushing or overworking will amount to any value, so I wish to take comfort in the surrender–this is what it is, I am what I am, here is here, now is now, this is a gift and it’s time for celebration.

And always, if there is wishing to be done, and if Winter will be the time, I wish for Dexter an easy death, with as little suffering as possible, and that he know how much he is loved, that I can open up to his loss and feel the full measure of grief, equal to the love.