Monthly Archives: January 2017

Gratitude Friday

goodbooks

1. Good books. Just one way I’m keeping sane these days. One that is not in this pile because it’s on my Kindle is “Difficult Women,” also by Roxane Gay. It is SO good.

?2. The cup my brother and nieces gave me. It’s perfect for soup. And, it’s covered with dogs!

funhome3. Fun Home, the musical. I know I already mentioned it in my Something Good list this week, but y’all it was SO good, and this week I found the soundtrack on Amazon Prime so I’ve been listening to it constantly.

4. My three boys. I haven’t been able to go on walks this week, and have been working a lot, so I’m really missing them. Hopefully we can hang out a bit more this weekend.

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Sam doesn’t really like getting his picture taken, so always turns his head

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5. Sam’s new harness. We got Ringo one a while back (see above picture) and it’s worked so well for him, we got Sam one too.

6. Obi. Yesterday would have been his 15th birthday. He was our first. He taught us how to have a dog, and he taught us how to let go. I won’t ever stop missing him.

obisnow

Bonus joy: getting good feedback (appreciation, kudos, acknowledgement) about the work I do for CSU, doing some work for CSU that I don’t need anybody to tell me is good because I just know, Voxing with Justine, my knee getting just a bit better, getting enough sleep, clementines, tomato gratin, garlic bread, tart cherry juice, working from home, how poor Sam hides from the washing machine but the spot he chooses to hide and where he feels the safest is under my writing desk, the way Ringo wants me to give him handfuls of water while I wait for it to warm up so I can take a shower and sometimes he stands next to me with one of his feet right on top of one of mine and I love him so much I want to stay right there with him forever and ever, laughing with Eric which is the one thing that can save me when nothing else can even reach me.

Three Truths and One Wish

greenbridge

1. Truth: The past five days have been overwhelming. I shared a list on Facebook today that compiled what had happened just during the first four days of DT’s presidency, things he’d done and things he threatened to do. There were 36 things on the list, and they would have been too much if they’d taken the whole four years. People are resisting, but people are also so exhausted and overwrought that they are getting sick. Some are sticking their heads in the sand, running away, asking the rest of us to keep it down, and others are spending way too much time on social media, fighting or screaming until their throats are raw. And of course, there’s the crying. It’s a mess.

2. Truth: There are things I just can’t wrap my head around. One is that for a large number of marginalized and oppressed people, this is what it has always been like, what it’s always felt like — and I didn’t see them, I wasn’t helping. The other is that there are still people who don’t see what’s happening, and others who see it and just don’t care that other people are suffering. I keep wondering, with so much gone wrong, so much that needs attention, how do you figure out where to put your energy, your effort? I once heard someone suggest that if you want to know who you are here to serve, just notice what breaks your heart and you will find your purpose — but what if all of it breaks your heart?

3. Truth: I’m not giving up. That being said, I certainly need to start taking better care of myself. I need to make better choices, have more discipline and discernment. I have to remember that I don’t need to set myself on fire just to keep someone else warm. I need to figure out the balance between keeping my own shit together and helping. I want to remember what Pema Chödrön says, that “If we want there to be peace in the world, then we have to take responsibility when our own hearts and minds harden and close. We have to be brave enough to soften what is rigid, to find the soft spot and stay with it. We have to have that kind of courage and take that kind of responsibility.”

(More than) One wish: May we practice being soft and open, tender with whatever arises. May we stay with ourselves, with reality. With confidence in our fundamental wisdom and compassion, my we stay connected to our inherent power, be of benefit, help, ease suffering in ourselves and in the world. Yes, we will be vulnerable, at risk of being wounded, but we also in this way will know joy, experience love, encounter amazement.