1. Truth: Right now it’s hard to talk about what’s true. People ask me how I’m doing, and it’s just easier to say “good” or “fine.” I’m trying to figure it out, trying to navigate rough terrain, and it doesn’t feel like something I want to make public — if I ever do. In fact, if I haven’t already talked to you about it, please don’t ask.
2. Truth: Trying to find the root of my suffering has been difficult. There are so many things layered on top of the point of origin that need to be dug up and untangled. Each new discovery has the potential to confuse and distract me from the real source.
3. Truth: Sometimes telling the truth is hard because you know someone else is going to immediately try to deny it or downplay it. There are so many ways this is manifesting in my life — personal, professional, and public. I spend a lot of time lately weighing the value of speaking out against the harm of staying silent.
One wish: That we keep digging, keep trying, don’t give up, and know that we have the right to say “this is mine.”
Jill, just sending love. xo
Yes, this is yours. Sending love. xx
This is a post I could have written for more than a year now. Things aren’t all better, but they have shifted. And external things haven’t significantly changed. I think it’s the accumulation of small nuggets and slivers of insight and understanding. There have been times I’ve felt worn out with digging. But I’d say it’s been worth it. I’ll keep at it if you do.
It’s a deal. ❤