August | 2016 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

Sunset on Waldport Beach, two years ago

I’m feeling melancholy today. I got an email from my mom, and that makes me miss her, (don’t stop sending them though, Mom!). I miss being in Oregon and so close. I miss the beach. I’ve been continuing to declutter the house and today I worked on a drawer full of the dogs things. There were various sizes of puppy collars and harnesses that I was finally able to let go of, along with a few old toys and prescriptions. One of Dexter’s collars was in there too and when I put it on Ringo, it fit perfectly, so I’m keeping that.

Tomorrow I have to go back to work after being on vacation all summer, and that always makes me feel sad. Summer passes so quickly and that reminds me how fast life goes. I also always feel a bit worried because I’m relatively sane during summer break, and go a bit crazy during the other nine months of the year. I just want to continue to be well fed and rested and able to maintain a reasonable speed. I’ve taken on a few extra responsibilities this coming semester, so the bar has to be lowered for just about everything else.

I’ve accumulated a lot, and I do too much. It makes me think of the quote from Rumi,

“You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!”

Maybe I don’t need to try so hard. Maybe the life I’ve been seeking, yearning for, working towards, chasing after is right here, right now.

Foothills view on our walk the other morning

1. Being home. I’m still conscious of how nice it is to be home, even two weeks later.

View from our front porch

2. Really great resources for dog training. I haven’t said much about it here, but the week before we were supposed to leave the coast, Sam and Ringo started fighting. It wasn’t super bad and no one got hurt, but it did mean some big changes and reaching out for help. We are now working really hard to get them back on track and they are doing so much better, (a huge issue was lack of sleep — we were on vacation, but were working them harder and letting them sleep less and didn’t realize the impact of that until it was too late). I’ll write more about this later, I’m sure, but for now I’m just glad to have help — human, text, and tool.

3. My dogs. So willing to start over, to forgive/forget my mistakes, to keep teaching me new stuff. So smart and so goofy at the same time.

summerlounging toohot patiolounging

5. My garden. Not producing as much as it has in years past, but still such a good thing.

tomatoes latestrawberries

Bonus joy: peaches, peach pie, cucumbers, cold clean water, a warm shower, my new car, clean sheets, good books, naps, cooler mornings, long walks with Eric and the dogs, how hard Eric and I laughed at our fortunes at lunch the other day (mine said “There’s a secret romance blooming! Go for it, in spite of your hesitation” and his said “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”), some good training sessions with the dogs, Ringo singing in the kitchen, Sam sleeping in with me, one more weekend of vacation, lunch with one of my favorites, the surprise storm, a dream in which the foxes came back.