I’m feeling melancholy today. I got an email from my mom, and that makes me miss her, (don’t stop sending them though, Mom!). I miss being in Oregon and so close. I miss the beach. I’ve been continuing to declutter the house and today I worked on a drawer full of the dogs things. There were various sizes of puppy collars and harnesses that I was finally able to let go of, along with a few old toys and prescriptions. One of Dexter’s collars was in there too and when I put it on Ringo, it fit perfectly, so I’m keeping that.
Tomorrow I have to go back to work after being on vacation all summer, and that always makes me feel sad. Summer passes so quickly and that reminds me how fast life goes. I also always feel a bit worried because I’m relatively sane during summer break, and go a bit crazy during the other nine months of the year. I just want to continue to be well fed and rested and able to maintain a reasonable speed. I’ve taken on a few extra responsibilities this coming semester, so the bar has to be lowered for just about everything else.
I’ve accumulated a lot, and I do too much. It makes me think of the quote from Rumi,
“You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!”
Maybe I don’t need to try so hard. Maybe the life I’ve been seeking, yearning for, working towards, chasing after is right here, right now.
Only this, dear Jill. Yes! xo
Jill, I so understand and share your feelings about the return to insanity. Every summer, I feel myself return to health. I get enough rest. I get exercise. My mind calms down. I swear I am going to maintain that sense of well-being through the school year. So far, I haven’t figured out how to do it. It’s not for lack of discipline or effort. But, despite the fact that I haven’t figured it out yet, each fall I try again. I refuse to give up hope that this is impossible! Wishing you a good year.
You say it’s not for lack of discipline or effort, and as I mull that over it makes me think that there’s nothing for me to do about it, no trying or figuring. Maybe there’s something in letting go or even surrender that would be helpful. Lowering the bar for sure would help me! Good luck! ❤
The poem by Rumi was written after watching me dither around the house on a “free” day – What should I do with all my free time? wrong question. there’s nothing to do. just be. 🙂