July | 2016 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

The picture I took because my mom said, “that would make a pretty picture.”

1. Spending time with family. Playing cards, eating together, walking on the beach, talking on the phone and texting.

2. Long walks on the beach. The other day the tide was low enough that we walked all the way from Waldport to Seal Rock. We also walked at Ona Beach and there was a long stretch with no people, other dogs, or birds so the dogs got to go offlead for a longer time than before, and we saw a heron fishing. We also went hiking at Cape Perpetua.

onabeachbridgeducks onabeachshack rockhound sealrockbeach offleadononabeach cliffrocks onabeachheron 3. My tiny family, and a partner who is there to support and help me. I’m not gonna lie, kind and gentle reader, we’ve been having a rough couple of weeks. I couldn’t do this without Eric.

ericandringorocks

sambeach

4. Friends who can step in with help, even though they aren’t “here.”

5. Sleep. Getting enough of it, that particular kind of rest where you can relax and let everything else go is such a comfort, so essential.

Bonus joy: an amazing dinner last night at the kookiest little restaurant, leftovers, marionberry pie, clean cold water, a warm shower, coffee with a friend, beautiful weather, the color of the ocean this afternoon, the sound of the waves, a slight breeze, a long nap, dog crates, smart and compassionate dog trainers, an unexpected butterfly, Eric making me laugh.

onatable 1. Truth: There are some things I don’t tell you. Even though I’m pretty open, honest on this blog, there are a few things I just don’t write about here. Some are other people’s dis-ease, illness, and addiction, and some are my own. It seems like in the past year I’ve had to be quieter here than before because there’s been more of that going on behind the scenes. Take this vacation for example. Some major things have gone down that I can’t post about. I know that’s right, but part of me longs for the comfort of telling you.

2. Truth: I’m ready to go home, but I’m sad about leaving. We have one week left, and most of the time I feel simultaneously like I never want to leave AND I can’t get back to Colorado fast enough. It’s the strangest thing. I love it here so much — the beach, the ocean, the weather, all the green, the fresh berries and veggies and seafood, the long lazy days, two and a half hour walks every morning, naps, reading books, nowhere I have to be and nothing I have to do, family so close by. But I also love Colorado — the mountains, the river, the parks where we walk two hours every morning, my garden, my tiny little house with my comfortable bed and new bathroom, my friends, my favorite yoga teachers, my meditation cushion, my backyard, my physical therapist, the dogs’ vets, everything I’m used to and need right there. It’s confusing.

3. Truth: Just because something is the right choice doesn’t make it easy. I know it’s right to keep quiet about some things. I know it’s right that Eric and I live in Colorado, so far away from our families. I know that vacations have to end at some point. And just because something is true, inevitable even, doesn’t make it easy. I know that I can’t protect people I love or myself from bad things happening, that we are all going to get sick, lose our minds a little, make bad choices that have consequences, maybe even get old, and eventually die.

One wish: May we all get our version of whatever comfort and strength we need. No matter how bad it gets, may we find a way to keep going. May we find the magic and the medicine.