Daily Archives: December 9, 2012

#Reverb12 Day 9

reverb12

Spontaneity

The full prompt: What was your last act of spontaneity? (Author: Lee Currie)

Confession: I’m a planner. I am careful and thoughtful. I put things off, procrastinate and contemplate and research the heck out of everything, every choice, every decision, trying to anticipate and control every variable. My life is steeped in routine, regular practice and sameness. I can go for an entire year at a time eating the same exact thing for breakfast almost every single day. Not only do I look before I leap, sometimes I don’t ever get around to leaping. I criticize and judge others for being impulsive.

So when considering this prompt, I was so confounded, confused by the whole notion, the very idea of it, that I had to look up the concept, get a definition to see if I even knew what it meant. Here’s what I found: “Performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus; Having an open, natural, and uninhibited manner; Growing naturally and without being tended or cultivated; Instinctive or involuntary.” As I was reading, I was thinking “yeah, not so much, not me at all.”

But then I realized, I am really good at one spontaneous thing: laughter. I am always on the lookout, prepared to laugh, waiting and wishing for something funny, totally open to it, ready and willing. Just yesterday (so, my “last act of spontaneity”), I almost lost my breath because I was laughing so hard at this exchange between my husband and I:

Me: (as we are heading out for our afternoon walk) I haven’t showered or eaten lunch yet, and it’s already 2 pm!
Eric: You haven’t showered yet?
Me: Yeah, I was still in my bathrobe.
Eric: Well, sometimes you shower and put it right back on.
Me: *spontaneous, hysterical laughter*

It was funny, because it’s true. 🙂

Superpower

The full prompt: If you were a superhero, what would your power be?

You might not know this about me, kind and gentle reader, but I have dreams about being able to fly fight like in The Matrix or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. If I were a superhero, I’d want the power to protect and heal, to be the ultimate peacemaker, defender of love and sanity, a brave and openhearted warrior able to bring an end to suffering.

Most Important Relationship

Somehow when I was reverbing yesterday, I accidentally answered the day nine prompt from Kat, so today I am answering the prompt I should have already.

The full prompt: Considering the idea that nothing lasts forever: what was the most important relationship that you fostered in 2012? How will you continue to nurture it in 2013?

I shared a quote in another post I published this morning, “our relationship with ourselves is like a mighty pebble tossed into a still lake, everything ripples out from that center point,” (Rachel Cole). I really believe that the most important relationship I fostered in 2012 was the one with myself. For many many years, I had been in an abusive relationship with myself, self-hating and self-loathing, smashing myself to bits, ignoring and denying her, but this past year that finally started to shift. I am getting better at honoring my true hungers, at valuing my innate worth, even as there is still work to do.

As I mentioned in another Reverb12 post, I have long mistreated my body specifially. Tending to this relationship, restoring it and thus restoring my full self to total health, to balance and sustainability, to joy and ease–this will be the primary focus of my year, of my relationship with myself. I aspire to nurture my body back to wellness, its healthiest and sanest expression. By next year at this time, may it glow.

Day of Rest

freedomthanksgivingcrow“The message is sending me a universe.” That’s exactly how I mistyped the way I intended to begin this post, meaning to tell you that the universe has been sending me a message. I like the mistake so much I am keeping it, because it’s just as true as what I meant to say.

As I work this weekend with Rachel Cole’s Wisdom NotesReset. Revive. Restart., Reverb12, and Susannah Conway’s Unravelling The Year Ahead workbook, (as well as attempting to do the laundry, pay bills and balance the checkbook, clean up the house, get groceries, care for the boys and myself…*sigh*), certain things are emerging, becoming clear.

One thing that I want to share with you today, because maybe this is a thing for you too–the rightness of being myself. So many quotes, so much wisdom has come my way in just the past few days about this, and every cell in my body, every corner of my mind, every breath and heartbeat says “yes” and “oh, hell yeah” in response.

babyme

The phone is ringing, darling. Pick up. Pick up! It’s the Universe, with a directive just for you – a way you can be of service in the world, a calling just for you that you can choose to accept or reject. You may be tempted to reject the calling, because it’s likely to feel scary and push you out of your comfort zone. You have free will, so the choice is yours. But I’m here to tell you that if you’re brave enough to accept the calling, not only will you be part of healing the world; you will also open doors that will lead you to a life of mission, service, abundance, love, connection, and work you love. Will you muster up your courage, answer the call, and bring your brilliance into the world? ~Inner Pilot Light

meanddressy

We may doubt that we’re up to being a warrior-in-training. But we can ask ourselves this question: “Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?” ~Pema Chödrön

clown

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. ~Denis Waitley

meanddex

I keep having to remind myself, and wanted to take the chance to remind you, to welcome what’s here. To not fight with myself or it. I think it’s one of the hardest things to learn, particularly for those of us who believe we know what’s supposed to happen, and that we could do a better job at controlling the immediate universe!

Krishnamurti, the great spiritual teacher was once asked about his enlightenment. He said, “The answer is: I don’t mind what happens.” It’s such a different life, both inside and outside, when we don’t mind what happens. The tight fist in the chest opens. The body relaxes, and suddenly, even if there is sadness or loss, there is the ability to hold it–and to hold oneself. Such a gift. Such love. ~Geneen Roth

me

…our relationship with ourselves is like a mighty pebble tossed into a
still lake, everything ripples out from that center point. ~Rachel Cole

You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~Buddha

scribble

You suppose you are the trouble
But you are the cure
You suppose you are the lock on the door
But you are the key that opens it
It’s too bad that you want to be someone else
You don’t see your own face, your own beauty
Yet, no face is more beautiful than yours.
~Rumi

purplefleecerobe

In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?
~Siddhartha Gautama

superhero earth necklace made by andrea scher, a gift to myself

May I have the courage today
To live the life that I would love,
To postpone my dream no longer
But do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear no more.
~John O’Donohue