Tag Archives: Message from the Universe

Wishcasting Wednesday

from Jamie's post

image from Jamie’s post

This week Jamie asks, “What sign from the Universe do you wish for?” I’ve thought about this, contemplated it all morning and into the afternoon. It’s harder to answer than it might have been even just a few months ago. Is it because I don’t feel particularly confused? Is it because I don’t have any big decisions facing me? Or is it because I am in communication with the Universe, feel like it’s sending me messages and signs all the time?

The dance between confusion and clarity was the theme of my morning practice on this particular day, before I even saw the wishcast prompt. World Domination Summit (WDS) tickets went on sale this morning and I knew I’d be feeling the tug, the “I want one! I want to go! Should I go?,” especially when I started to see all the cool kids posting that they’d purchased theirs.

But I already knew I wasn’t going, had decided, got clear about that a long time ago, and no good would come of trying to force it to fit, from pushing myself to make it work. And yet, this morning I looked up the date for the July intensive weekend for my upcoming yoga teacher training, silently wishing it fell on the exact same weekend, giving me a clear sign that I was meant for other things, that my path was going another direction. I checked, and WDS is the weekend just before that intensive, the weekend we’ll be driving back to Colorado from “our” beach house in Oregon. That was close enough for me. I had wanted a sign in blinking neon, confetti and balloons and a big “ta-da!” but the message was clear even without — “not this, THAT.”

I knew before I looked that Jamie’s prompt would somehow be related to that choice. I have this sense of things recently, a deep knowing and complete trust that I am being guided, helped, supported. Things happen all the time that feel like I have a built in GPS, a guidance system always pointing me towards the truth. Before I meditated or did my writing practice, I pulled a card from my tarot deck, like I’ve been doing each morning. It was the 5 of Wands,

Scattered, Lack of Focus, Lost…a card of conflict. You may find yourself scattered, distracted, tending to everything and nothing. Since wands deal with our dreams & goals, it usually means this conflict resides within. Your energy moves outward in many directions, yet you are suffering inside. Take this card as a warning: find ways to bring calm and focus to your mind or these troubles will only increase.

This weekend is the second annual Open Heart Project virtual retreat. Susan has scheduled in, as she does, time for creativity and for rest, relaxation, along with meditation and dharma talks. I had started negotiating with myself this morning, that blogging would count as creativity, or that I could skip resting to get done what needed done, that I didn’t need to do the full retreat, but then I pulled the 5 of Wands and it was clear to me that I needed to commit, that not doing so wasn’t even an option. I had received a warning directly from the Universe that I needed to “find ways to bring calm and focus” to my mind, or else.

So it isn’t so much “What sign from the Universe do you wish for?,” not wishing but rather pure gratitude that I’m feeling towards the Universe today, so thankful to be helped, to be given the gentlest of nudges in the right direction, the most compassionate reminders. And yet if I could wish for one sign, I would wish that for the fourth time, the Universe make sure the right dog finds us, that when we finally start looking for real, are ready, that the Universe make it clear which one is for us, which one needs us as much as we need him (even if it’s a her).

And P.S. Dear Universe, please make this one a cuddler, full of joy like Dexter was and full of love like Obi was, and one that will adore Sam as much as we do.

Message from the Universe

I confess, I haven’t been feeling that great. I think it’s the crash that always happens at the very beginning of any break from school, from work. I’ve typically been pushing so hard, going so fast, that when the moment finally comes when I can do what I want, go my own speed, my initial response is to collapse altogether.

But that’s okay. I am trusting the wisdom of my body right now, and if that means I spend the whole afternoon on the couch, that’s perfectly fine. Good things can happen there too. Plans can be made, rest is had, time is spent noticing and contemplating. Today I watched another episode of Call the Midwife, and it made the whole day worth it, all of it leading up to this one nugget of pure truth.

There is a greater gift than the trust of others, and that is trust in oneself. Some might call it confidence, others name it faith, but if it makes us brave, the label doesn’t matter for it’s the thing that frees us to embrace life itself. ~Season 2, Episode 2

This has been the message for me recently: Trust yourself. Trust my own, innate wisdom. Have faith that my body knows, that my heart knows, that my instincts and my gut and my intuition can be trusted — that each part of me has its own intelligence if I would only listen, give it mindful attention, trust that I know what to do, and know that I won’t abandon myself.

The only meaningful relationship is the one you have with yourself. Are you in love yet? ~Byron Katie

I’m not all the way there yet, kind and gentle reader, but I’m sure working on it. What about you?

What I’m Learning Now

Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself. ~Jean Anouih

On Thursday, I worked a lot with letting the day unfold naturally, without force or agenda. I was fatigued, worn out, and took a sick day to rest. The plague (several versions) has been circling around campus and there’s a good chance my body is doing everything it can to fight it off. I stayed in my pajamas all day, fed myself well, drank lots of grapefruit juice, watched some inspirational videos while resting on the couch, taking notes and at one point having a long nap.

The Universe is bombarding me with messages about self-love, self-care, self-acceptance. The classes I’m taking, friendships I have, things I read and see and hear make clear what I can give, what is needed. The theme is that there is only one me, I have unique gifts, a specific perspective and calling, and that I must be true to that, honor it, because that’s what I have to offer the world. And most importantly, it is not selfish to be who I am, to love what I love. In fact, it is the deepest kind of compassion, the most profound expression of wisdom.

To succeed at being somebody that you are not (but think you need to be) is still a failure. But to love who you are and courageously be that fully is a life well lived. ~Kute Blackson

I contemplated this blog post that I’m writing now all day Thursday, but made the choice to rest instead. In fact, this past week, I only posted three times, when I typically post every day, sometimes twice. Normally that would make me feel bad, less than worthy and anxious because my stats were down. For years, I’ve been singing as loud as I can, dancing as fast as I can, performing elaborate routines, begging to be noticed, to be loved and accepted, cared for and safe. I can’t do it anymore, won’t–“a life lived in order to please others ends up pleasing no one at all,” (Elizabeth Lessor).

Pleasing another person is often about avoiding the conflict that might ensue if we tell the truth about our feelings, needs, fears, and dreams. ~Elizabeth Lessor

I know I have something of value to offer, but I can’t do it from a place of exhaustion and overwhelm. When thinking about how I might do this, my heart’s work, while maintaining full-time paid work and all the other things I’m responsible for, it is clear to me that the same approach that had been so unworkable, such a failure in my old job–overwork, overwhelm, anxiety, perfection, hustling for worthiness, people pleasing but self-hating–was being carried over into this. The same method of forcing and pushing and denial.

I want to continue loving what I love, so I need to soften my approach. I need to meet this work with gentleness, kindness, and be open to joy. I need to maintain my focus on how I want to feel, the experience I want to cultivate, the process rather than a product. I need to balance my effort with ease.

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Howard Thurman

I also must forgive myself for all that came before. All the years of trying to be good, hoping to be perfect, imagining that if I did what others wanted and expected that I would be loved, safe, accepted. The self-denial, self-loathing, self-abandonment, self-abuse, the pushing, forcing, smashing myself to bits, and broken promises. The cycle of starving and stuffing, never satisfied. I have to also forgive myself for my confusion, my disappointment, my despair, my rage, and every action that came from that dark place. I was only trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be.

Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are. -Anne Lamott

I’m choosing that second option, dreaming bigger, cultivating courage and rest and joy, keeping my heart open, showing up and staying with whatever might arise, and doing it all imperfectly. My wish is to leave you, this space, this planet in better condition than I found it, and to ease suffering, in myself and the world.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
~Mary Oliver

Day of Rest

itsokayI’ve written here before about how I choose to believe that the Universe is communicating with me, sending me messages, and about how Eric fundamentally disagrees with me.

yield02

bravecampereat

There are times when I have to interpret the message, guess what it means to see a flock of Robins, to find feathers or a heart-shaped rock in my path on a walk, or to dream about someone I haven’t see in a long time.

keepgoingstop

Other times, the message is quite literal, spelled out you might say. The message in those moments is pretty clear.

knowyourlimits stay

This past week, my friend Courtney posted a picture of cards she’d pulled on New Year’s Eve, (Soul Coaching Oracle Cards: What Your Soul Wants You to Know, by Denise Linn) and added “Anyone else want me to draw a card for them?” to which I responded “Me, me, pick me!!!”

The card she pulled for me?! Freedom. This is the word I picked for myself this year, my intention for 2013, the way I want to feel–freedom to and freedom from. I want to invite this into my life, this sense of complete freedom, and with it simplicity, space, ease, surrender, clarity, and openness.

Card Meaning: Break free, express yourself, and let your spirit fly! Flaunt your stuff, dance, laugh, explore, and go beyond predictable behavior. Be daring. Fling your arms to the heavens in joy.

Your soul wants you to know: You aren’t here to be ordinary, but to step beyond limitations and self-imposed boundaries. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped by convention or the expectations of others. You have the ability to choose your life on your terms. Replace the phrase “I should” with “I could, but choose not to at this time.” Perhaps you aren’t always free to create the exact circumstances of your life–but you’re certainly able to decide what meaning to give those situations. Select meanings that empower you, for this is the time to break free.

Affirmation: “Boundless freedom surges through me.”

freedomcardcourtneypulledformeDear Universe,

Message received, loud and clear. Good to know I’m on the right path, that you agree, that I picked the right word.

Love you.
Love,
Me

Day of Rest

freedomthanksgivingcrow“The message is sending me a universe.” That’s exactly how I mistyped the way I intended to begin this post, meaning to tell you that the universe has been sending me a message. I like the mistake so much I am keeping it, because it’s just as true as what I meant to say.

As I work this weekend with Rachel Cole’s Wisdom NotesReset. Revive. Restart., Reverb12, and Susannah Conway’s Unravelling The Year Ahead workbook, (as well as attempting to do the laundry, pay bills and balance the checkbook, clean up the house, get groceries, care for the boys and myself…*sigh*), certain things are emerging, becoming clear.

One thing that I want to share with you today, because maybe this is a thing for you too–the rightness of being myself. So many quotes, so much wisdom has come my way in just the past few days about this, and every cell in my body, every corner of my mind, every breath and heartbeat says “yes” and “oh, hell yeah” in response.

babyme

The phone is ringing, darling. Pick up. Pick up! It’s the Universe, with a directive just for you – a way you can be of service in the world, a calling just for you that you can choose to accept or reject. You may be tempted to reject the calling, because it’s likely to feel scary and push you out of your comfort zone. You have free will, so the choice is yours. But I’m here to tell you that if you’re brave enough to accept the calling, not only will you be part of healing the world; you will also open doors that will lead you to a life of mission, service, abundance, love, connection, and work you love. Will you muster up your courage, answer the call, and bring your brilliance into the world? ~Inner Pilot Light

meanddressy

We may doubt that we’re up to being a warrior-in-training. But we can ask ourselves this question: “Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?” ~Pema Chödrön

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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. ~Denis Waitley

meanddex

I keep having to remind myself, and wanted to take the chance to remind you, to welcome what’s here. To not fight with myself or it. I think it’s one of the hardest things to learn, particularly for those of us who believe we know what’s supposed to happen, and that we could do a better job at controlling the immediate universe!

Krishnamurti, the great spiritual teacher was once asked about his enlightenment. He said, “The answer is: I don’t mind what happens.” It’s such a different life, both inside and outside, when we don’t mind what happens. The tight fist in the chest opens. The body relaxes, and suddenly, even if there is sadness or loss, there is the ability to hold it–and to hold oneself. Such a gift. Such love. ~Geneen Roth

me

…our relationship with ourselves is like a mighty pebble tossed into a
still lake, everything ripples out from that center point. ~Rachel Cole

You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~Buddha

scribble

You suppose you are the trouble
But you are the cure
You suppose you are the lock on the door
But you are the key that opens it
It’s too bad that you want to be someone else
You don’t see your own face, your own beauty
Yet, no face is more beautiful than yours.
~Rumi

purplefleecerobe

In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?
~Siddhartha Gautama

superhero earth necklace made by andrea scher, a gift to myself

May I have the courage today
To live the life that I would love,
To postpone my dream no longer
But do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear no more.
~John O’Donohue

Messages from the Universe

Eric and I fundamentally disagree on one thing: I think that there is some order or intention in the way the world works and in how things happen, am always trying to figure out what things mean, and he thinks that if it is anything, it’s just nature doing what it does, and therefore random, chaos, nothing more than organic logic. His view is most likely more healthy, more sane, even more practical. And yet, even when things seem random, I can’t help myself, I look close, try to see if there are patterns or some hidden magic, and in everything that comes to me, everything I experience or encounter, I look for a message from the Universe.

I think that the world is trying to communicate with me. I am always trying to uncover the secret, see the sign, figure out the thing I’m supposed to learn or discover. Even though I am reluctant to label it as a belief in fate or destiny or even God, I find it hard to accept that things are happening according to nothing more than chance, that there’s no meaning.

This summer, in Andrea Scher’s Dream Lab ecourse, one of our tasks was to write ourselves a love letter, mail it to Andrea, and at some point in the future, she’d mail it back to us. I wrote mine as it it was directly from the Universe, sealed it in a self-addressed stamped envelope, mailed it, and promptly forgot about it. Yesterday, it was delivered…sort of.

Based on the postmark information, there were at least three attempts to deliver it. The handwritten “Del to:” and various arrows pointing to my name and address make me think that one of those times, it was misdelivered to the wrong location. At some point along its journey back to me, the envelope came unglued and open, and the letter was lost. What I got on my end was an empty envelope, stamped in red with “received without contents” and “received unsealed.” I laughed when I saw it. It seems so right that I, Lucille Ball Jr., would get a letter from the Universe that was completely empty.

There was something oddly poetic about it. Especially because right underneath it in my mailbox was a letter from J, full of doodles and love. The real message? “That stuff you wrote was nice, and true, but it’s all stuff you already know. I want you instead to hear what J has to say to you, that’s what I really need you to know.” And her message was (I’m paraphrasing here) that who I am, who I really am, is my superpower.

What I know from having written J a loopy love letter and then getting one in response, what I know from writing this blog and sharing with my kind and gentle readers, what I know from communing with the tribe of women I belong to, what I know from being more present and awake in my life and trusting myself, my innate wisdom and kindness, being vulnerable and courageous, is that by being who I am, writing the way I do, showing up with an open heart, being honest and genuine, other people feel less alone. And the added bonus is that I feel less alone. For so long, I tried to change, to deny or hide or reject the parts of me that seemed “wrong,” but it turns out that all that stuff I thought was weird or broken or crazy is exactly what the world needs from me. It’s the thing I have to offer, the way I am able to ease suffering in the world. Who knew?