#Reverb12 Day 9

reverb12

Spontaneity

The full prompt: What was your last act of spontaneity? (Author: Lee Currie)

Confession: I’m a planner. I am careful and thoughtful. I put things off, procrastinate and contemplate and research the heck out of everything, every choice, every decision, trying to anticipate and control every variable. My life is steeped in routine, regular practice and sameness. I can go for an entire year at a time eating the same exact thing for breakfast almost every single day. Not only do I look before I leap, sometimes I don’t ever get around to leaping. I criticize and judge others for being impulsive.

So when considering this prompt, I was so confounded, confused by the whole notion, the very idea of it, that I had to look up the concept, get a definition to see if I even knew what it meant. Here’s what I found: “Performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus; Having an open, natural, and uninhibited manner; Growing naturally and without being tended or cultivated; Instinctive or involuntary.” As I was reading, I was thinking “yeah, not so much, not me at all.”

But then I realized, I am really good at one spontaneous thing: laughter. I am always on the lookout, prepared to laugh, waiting and wishing for something funny, totally open to it, ready and willing. Just yesterday (so, my “last act of spontaneity”), I almost lost my breath because I was laughing so hard at this exchange between my husband and I:

Me: (as we are heading out for our afternoon walk) I haven’t showered or eaten lunch yet, and it’s already 2 pm!
Eric: You haven’t showered yet?
Me: Yeah, I was still in my bathrobe.
Eric: Well, sometimes you shower and put it right back on.
Me: *spontaneous, hysterical laughter*

It was funny, because it’s true. 🙂

Superpower

The full prompt: If you were a superhero, what would your power be?

You might not know this about me, kind and gentle reader, but I have dreams about being able to fly fight like in The Matrix or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. If I were a superhero, I’d want the power to protect and heal, to be the ultimate peacemaker, defender of love and sanity, a brave and openhearted warrior able to bring an end to suffering.

Most Important Relationship

Somehow when I was reverbing yesterday, I accidentally answered the day nine prompt from Kat, so today I am answering the prompt I should have already.

The full prompt: Considering the idea that nothing lasts forever: what was the most important relationship that you fostered in 2012? How will you continue to nurture it in 2013?

I shared a quote in another post I published this morning, “our relationship with ourselves is like a mighty pebble tossed into a still lake, everything ripples out from that center point,” (Rachel Cole). I really believe that the most important relationship I fostered in 2012 was the one with myself. For many many years, I had been in an abusive relationship with myself, self-hating and self-loathing, smashing myself to bits, ignoring and denying her, but this past year that finally started to shift. I am getting better at honoring my true hungers, at valuing my innate worth, even as there is still work to do.

As I mentioned in another Reverb12 post, I have long mistreated my body specifially. Tending to this relationship, restoring it and thus restoring my full self to total health, to balance and sustainability, to joy and ease–this will be the primary focus of my year, of my relationship with myself. I aspire to nurture my body back to wellness, its healthiest and sanest expression. By next year at this time, may it glow.

3 thoughts on “#Reverb12 Day 9

  1. Lissa @ lafcustomdesigns

    I noticed you got your days mixed up and wondered if you would catch up. So glad you did because I could relate to so much you say here about your most important relationship with your self: body, mind, and soul; although I think I’m a little behind you. Funny thing though, I am spontaneous. I’m the one who will call and say, “You want to go for a walk?” You’d say, “When? Me: “Now.” And I’d hope you’d say yes! LOL

    Reply

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