Daily Archives: April 18, 2012

O is for Ocean

smelt sands, yachats oregon

When trying to choose a word for today, I opened my dictionary to “O” and started making a list: ordinary, origami, orange, origin, only, old, observe, obsession, object, obstruction, occupy, odd, offering, okay, Oliver, Om, open, one, openhearted, Oregon, ocean…

Ocean. As soon I wrote it down, I knew it was the right word. My heart did a little flutter, “yes.” Having grown up an hour and a half from the coast of Oregon, I spent a lot of time there, playing in the sand and water, walking up and down beaches collecting shells, sitting in a lawn chair with my toes in the sand and reading a book, stuffing myself full of seafood and saltwater taffy, roasting marshmallows and hotdogs on a bonfire built in the sand, and falling asleep to the sound of the waves. Living in Colorado, as much as I adore it here, I miss the ocean.

There is a feeling I get, standing at the edge, bubbles of seawater tickling my feet, looking out on to the horizon, hearing the waves, feeling the spray, that’s like being in church (or a bookstore or library). I feel utterly in love, vibrating with it, simultaneously chilled and warmed. My heart opens and my chest fills with the sound of the water, the waves moving in and out, my heartbeat and breathing echoing that rhythm. I don’t need to be anywhere else. I feel at ease and at peace. The ocean is a divine and precious thing.

Wishcasting Wednesday

Where do you wish to go?

The most literal answer to this would be to list the places I want to go: Amsterdam in the summer, Japan, Victoria BC, the Appalachian Trail, the Oregon Coast, New York (Broadway!), Germany, Hawaii, Australia, and New Zealand.

But I’m really not much for traveling. I’m not one of those people who has a wanderlust, a desire to travel to far away places, to see exotic things and eat strange food. I’m a homebody. I like to stay in one place, to sink into it deeply, to know it and love it. It’s why when we go to the Oregon Coast, we take our dogs, rent a house (this summer will be our third time in the exact same house), and stay for a month.

Most of my wishes about going somewhere have more to do with connecting to someone I couldn’t see otherwise. And a lot of those wishes are coming true: I hosted a Well-Fed Woman’s Retreatshop led by Rachel Cole, I went to a writing and meditation workshop facilitated by Susan Piver, in May I’ll be attending a two day workshop led by Brene’ Brown, three other amazing women I long to meet and thank and tell to their sweet faces how much I adore them will be at the World Domination Summit so there’s at least a chance of doing so, a sweet bird told me she’ll be teaching with another two in November, and another I will most likely get to see this summer (if she’s not famous and off on a whirlwind book tour already)–it’s all happening.

My remaining wish is to go deeper inside myself, to get to that core of sanity and vast space within, quiet and still, beyond ego and attachment.

I wish to go deeper in to love and compassion.

I wish to go deeper in to wisdom, awareness and knowing, confidence.

I wish to go the distance, all the way, for the long haul.

I wish to “go to there,” (and I love it if you get that reference, dear reader).