Tag Archives: Self-Awareness

Three Truths and One Wish

1. Truth: I thought I had to change, but I don’t. When I first started this life rehab of mine, I imagined becoming an entirely different and new person, completely transformed. I invested in self-help and self-improvement. I took classes, bought books, went on retreats, attended workshops and conferences, joined different communities, made new friends, followed lots of blogs, tried numerous strategies. It was like being on a new diet, but it involved my whole life, my whole self. I was going to work hard and change. Then I realized, I don’t need to change but rather I need to be myself, entirely and exactly. I need to live more deeply into who I really am, my truest self, trusting my innate and fundamental wisdom and compassion and strength.

2. Truth: The answer to every question, every struggle is simply this–relax. This is a truth I’ve been contemplating for some time, and I haven’t been able to stump it. No matter what situation or circumstance I apply it to, it works. It brings with it gentleness, space, awareness, freedom, ease, stillness, wisdom, and breath. When things are hard, relax. When you are confused, relax. When you are struggling, relax. When you are bored, relax. I don’t have to remember anything else, just that.

3. Truth: You can’t rush it. There is no speeding up or pushing or forcing or bullying that will get you there, that will make it happen. It takes the time that it takes. And as Chögyam Trungpa said, “Before we produce anything at all, we have to have a sense of free and open space.” If this feels confusing or difficult, see Truth #2.

One Wish: That we can all see ourselves clearly, love and accept who we really are, and that we can relax and live into that fundamental truth.

Wishcasting Wednesday

Where do you wish to go?

The most literal answer to this would be to list the places I want to go: Amsterdam in the summer, Japan, Victoria BC, the Appalachian Trail, the Oregon Coast, New York (Broadway!), Germany, Hawaii, Australia, and New Zealand.

But I’m really not much for traveling. I’m not one of those people who has a wanderlust, a desire to travel to far away places, to see exotic things and eat strange food. I’m a homebody. I like to stay in one place, to sink into it deeply, to know it and love it. It’s why when we go to the Oregon Coast, we take our dogs, rent a house (this summer will be our third time in the exact same house), and stay for a month.

Most of my wishes about going somewhere have more to do with connecting to someone I couldn’t see otherwise. And a lot of those wishes are coming true: I hosted a Well-Fed Woman’s Retreatshop led by Rachel Cole, I went to a writing and meditation workshop facilitated by Susan Piver, in May I’ll be attending a two day workshop led by Brene’ Brown, three other amazing women I long to meet and thank and tell to their sweet faces how much I adore them will be at the World Domination Summit so there’s at least a chance of doing so, a sweet bird told me she’ll be teaching with another two in November, and another I will most likely get to see this summer (if she’s not famous and off on a whirlwind book tour already)–it’s all happening.

My remaining wish is to go deeper inside myself, to get to that core of sanity and vast space within, quiet and still, beyond ego and attachment.

I wish to go deeper in to love and compassion.

I wish to go deeper in to wisdom, awareness and knowing, confidence.

I wish to go the distance, all the way, for the long haul.

I wish to “go to there,” (and I love it if you get that reference, dear reader).