Yoga | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

As I was working on cataloging my journals yesterday, I made a timeline, to track back when this particular change in me and my life began. I started writing the blog five months ago, and this life-rehab can sometimes feel like it happened just as recently, but THIS exact shift has been happening for at least three years, like water wearing away at a stone–freezing and thawing, dripping, rushing over and past, slowly changing its shape, causing cracks where the light gets in.

Image: Evgeni Dinev, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some highlights from the timeline:

2007: Therapy. Shambhala Training. Meditation practice.

2008: Yoga. Fitness trainer.

2009: Obi and Kelly diagnosed with cancer the same week. Obi starts chemotherapy. Obi’s cancer goes into remission. Warrior Assembly at Shambhala Mountain Center. Obi’s cancer comes back and we make the decision to stop chemotherapy. Kelly’s cancer comes back too. Obi dies in November.

2010: Major changes to my job, a long and difficult situation finally is resolved. We get Sam. Kelly passes away and I fly to Kentucky for her memorial service. I do a one day writing retreat with a friend that reminds me who I am, what I have always wanted. I restart a daily writing practice. We spend a month in Waldport, Oregon at the beach. I do a weekend online meditation retreat with Pema Chödrön, “Smile at Fear.”

2011: I take a few meditation classes to reestablish my sitting practice. Once a month for four months, I take a day long creative non-fiction writing workshop. Publish an article about Kelly. Join an Artist’s Way group and finally finish the book, having started it the first time ten years ago. 10 years at Colorado State University. WILD writing group starts to meet. Yoga Nidra & Loving-Kindness workshop with Ed & Deb Shapiro, 30 days of unlimited Yoga classes at Old Town Yoga Studio, and Yoga Immersion workshop shift Yoga to a true practice, (no longer just exercise). 25 year high school reunion, (I don’t go). Start a book couple with a friend, reading Gifts of Imperfection by Brene’ Brown. EClasses: Mondo Beyondo, Superhero Photo, and Ordinary Courage. First blog post.

This gradual building, this wave of energy that ripples out into every part of my life, is illustrated by the “bar graph” of my journals–those places where I take notes, record events, vent my feelings, list ideas, doodle, dream and remember and plan.

And this timeline, this review of things reminds me also that true change happens slowly, like water wearing away at a rock, and even then, the basic truth of me–my wisdom and compassion, my calling–doesn’t ever change, it remains constant and the same.

What were the 3-5 things that gave you joy this week?

1. New Slippers. I already wrote about these for my Small Stone this morning, but they are worth mentioning again. I haven’t had a new pair of slippers in at least two years, and since I don’t wear shoes in the house and live in Colorado where the winters are cold, I needed them. I absolutely love them.

2. New Year’s Yoga. Om Ananda Yoga Studio New Year’s Eve with Sarada teaching, a softly candle-lit room and the twinkly lights in the trees outside waving in the wind. Old Town Yoga Studio on New Year’s Day with Michael teaching, Wheel Pose, and a dear friend beside me. Such a good way to begin.

3. 2012 Weekly Planner, Dream Manual, Inspiration and Encouragement Keeper. I made Eric a book for Christmas, and he gave me a new weekly planner, writing inside the cover “Jill’s Guide to the Best Year Ever!” His book turned out so well, I decided to take the extra pages in my planner and make myself one, full of inspiration and resolve and power. I collaged the pages using photos I’d taken, pictures from magazines, favorite quotes and blog posts, a reading list for 2012, etc. It was a six glue stick project, but so worth it.

4. Yellow Umbrella Tree. This is another great share from The Cool Hunter. This tree could almost make you forget about winter.

5. New 37 Days Website and Launch Party Video. Patti Digh, who seems to be everywhere doing every good thing this year, revealed her new website yesterday and did a livestream launch party. I missed most of it because I got the time zones wrong and only got to see the last 15 minutes. Luckily, she recorded it. I can watch it later, which I will. I love, love, love her work. She is an inspiration, in many ways.