Tag Archives: Dexter

NaBloPoMo Prompt: What One Thing?

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he was crowding me, but ask me if I care

Today’s NaBloPoMo Prompt is: “If you could change one thing about our life right now, what would it be?” The answer is easy: Dexter wouldn’t have cancer, wouldn’t be dying. I’d change that. That would be the thing I’d wish were different, what I’d fix if I could.

But I can’t change it. I can accept it, be with it, with him. I can surrender, let go when the time comes. Right now, I can be grateful for another week with him, another day, another moment. Most recently, he’s had a stuffy nose, runny left eye from time to time, and more bloody snot since last week, but he’s still having good days and he’s still here. As he gets a tiny bit worse, I bump up against that reality again, that he’ll die soon no matter what I do. I still feel tender and sad about it, but mostly the fear and panic have eased. Like Eric said last night, “I’m okay with it, even though I’m not.”

from puppy to dog

He’s had a good, longish life with us, and I’m so grateful for his companionship, what he’s taught me about joy, play, loyalty, and having clear boundaries. If I could change his cancer, the fact that he’s going to die sooner rather than later I would, but I wouldn’t change anything else about our time together. And no matter what, he’ll always be my Little Dude.

Gratitude Friday

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This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Facebook. With the storm last week, it was my best source of information about how real people were really doing, and there was so much love and concern, kindness connecting people, making a scary, stressful time not so bad.

2. Books. Oh, how I love to read. Tell me all the stories!

3. This, bath time for toys. I’m so grateful to have two dogs who play with the toys, make a mess that I can clean up, and a functioning washing machine to use in the process.

4. Friends who get it. You know who you are, and I love you for it.

5. “I love you.” Even when I already know, it’s nice to hear.

6. A stand up desk. After a few long days in a chair in my Eddy Hall office at my paid work, I realize how awful sitting that much makes me feel. I’m so grateful for my stand up desk in my home office, and need to figure out how to convert the work one.

Bonus Joy: Another week with Dexter. I changed all the calendars in our house over to November, with him following along to “help.” I really didn’t expect him to still be here, and he even went running at Lory State Park the other day. My sweet boy.