Tag Archives: Create as Folk

Something Good

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Sundancer, by Mark Wagner. Box it sits on was made by his dad and painted by his mom.

Sundancer, by Mark Wagner — box it sits on was made by his dad and painted by his mom.

1. The above painting by Mark Wagner, an amazing artist and a good man. I sat across from this painting when I was at 27 Powers on retreat a few weeks ago, having fallen immediately in love with her.

2. Wisdom from Elizabeth Gilbert, In Defense of Loneliness and Quote of the Day.

3. Our first date was the last day of his life, a tragic and beautiful piece.

4. Kindness Matters on Kind Over Matter. It’s this sort of thing that makes me say one of my practices is dog, and I would hope if I were in the same situation, I could find my way to the same choice.

5. How to Get Flat Abs, Have Amazing Sex and Rule the World in 8 Easy Steps on Huffington Post.

6. How to Let Your Purpose Find You on Harvard Business Review. I’m sharing this because step one is, “Be uncool enough to love.”

???????????????????????????????7. 10 Things to Really Like About Getting Older on Purple Clover.

8. Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Type and Stress Heads. I’m an INFJ.

9. Sorry: “working on a novel” is not a business model. A loving reality check — and 26 ways to actually make a living as a wordsmith. from Alexandra Franzen.

10. Audit Yourself to Improve Your Circumstances from Chris Guillebeau.

11. Good stuff from MindBodyGreen: 10 Ways to Live to be 100, and 72 Uses For Simple Household Products To Save Money & Avoid Toxins, and A 5-Year-Old Called Me Fat And Changed My Perspective, and Change Your Life in 2 Seconds.

12. Tonight You Belong to Me (Cover) – Me and my 4 y.o., the sweetest video. May we all have someone who will give us a song to sing when we are scared or worried, even when what we are afraid of isn’t real — especially then.

13. Melissa Carroll’s Technicolor Dream on Narrative.ly.

14. Jimmy Fallon making me smile: Jimmy Fallon’s Latest Lip Sync-Off Was Actually Epic and “#Hashtag” with Jimmy Fallon & Justin Timberlake.

15. From Justine Musk‘s newsletter:

I believe in that place where, as Frederick Buechner once put it, “your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” It’s our quest as individuals to find it: acquiring wisdom along the way, overcoming obstacles (a.k.a “character-building experiences”), letting go of the stuff that no longer serves us so we can evolve into the artists that we need to be and grow a life that feels truly ours.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a writer, a VC, a stay-at-home mom, a yoga teacher, an accountant, an online entrepreneur, a student…or just a seeker of meaning and mystery.

The goal is the same: to live deep, and die empty, as my friend Todd Henry likes to say. Don’t go to your grave with your soul’s work still inside you.

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16. For the Love of Podcasts, a really great list on Scoutie Girl. Also from Scoutie Girl, The Body, Mind, and Space of Self-Care for Creatives — Part 2: The Mind.

17. A Weightless Year from Rachel Cole.

18. Daily Truthbomb from Danielle LaPorte, “You don’t have to believe in that.”

19. Wisdom from Finn Butler, shared by Laura Simms in her Create as Folk newsletter,

Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water. And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent, but nothing is infinite, not even loss. You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day you are going to find yourself again.

20. Emerging Women Livestream 2013, A FREE, Four-day Video Event to Empower Women Around the World. Some of my favorite women are going to be speaking.

21. Writing as Dog. Word.

purplepetalalley-e137942051019322. One cute thing, Cute Corgi puppy excited to play with new toy (VIDEO), and one sad thing, Emotional farewell between loving man and his first dog, (Gracie had the same kind of cancer Dexter did), from Dog Heirs, one of my new favorite websites.

23. KID PRESIDENT CHALLENGE: Spread Joy!

24. Wisdom from the Dalai Lama,

Some people consider the practice of love and compassion is only related to religious practice and if they are not interested in religion they neglect these inner values. But love and compassion are qualities that human beings require just to live together.

25. attention: emotional amoebas – find your edges from Sas Petherick.

26. your daily rock : go directly to the source.

27. Have I told you lately how much I adore Mary Oliver? Here’s another reason why, from Parker Palmer: “A couple of years ago, I was lucky to hear Mary Oliver read her poetry. After the reading, someone in the audience asked her, ‘What is the purpose of beauty?’ Her simple but remarkable answer was, ‘We need beauty because it makes us ache to be worthy of it.'”

28. 20 Images That Prove Kids Are Weird from Pleated Jeans.

29. Shared by Tammy in her Happy Links list on Rowdy Kittens: Worthy on The Minimalists, and Ebb and Flow from Courtney Carver, and Overcoming Writer’s Block on Medium.

30. Good stuff from Tiny Buddha, Where True Happiness Comes From: How We Gain by Having Less and 6 Tips to Release Anxiety to Feel Calm and Free.

Self-Compassion Saturday: Laura Simms

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I think I first discovered Creative Career Coach Laura Simms by way of Rachel Cole, (or rather my default when I can’t remember exactly is to blame every good thing on either Rachel or Andrea Scher). I immediately was drawn to Laura’s smile, her sense of humor, and quickly discovered that she is wise in the gentlest, clearest possible way. She is impossibly sharp and soft.

Meeting Laura for the first time at World Domination Summit two years ago went on my personal blooper list for that event. I ran into her during a break between sessions, went over and introduced myself, and proceeded to stand in front of her telling her how adorable she is for what felt like ten times in a row, and then not knowing what else to say, I just walked away. Luckily, I got a chance to redeem myself the next morning at breakfast, (although at the end of that meal, after sitting next to her and chatting like a totally normal person, I did follow her into the bathroom — I had to go too! — and tell her again as we stood at the sinks washing our hands how unbelievably adorable she is).

Laura didn’t hold it against me, and when my Dexter died, she was one of the people who sent me a note (real mail!) to tell me how sorry she was, (she’d lost her sweet bunny not too long before that). She is genuinely kind and compassionate, and it shows up in everything she does, whether a stunningly accurate blog post, silly Facebook status update, honest video, or through her work supporting clients in crafting purpose-driven careers — she is brilliant, both shiny and wise. I am so happy to share her perspective on self-compassion with you today.

laura-simms021. What does self-compassion mean, what is it? How would you describe or define it?

I think self-compassion is kindness, gentleness, and acceptance. It’s love, empathy, tenderness.

2. How did you learn self-compassion? Did you have a teacher, a guide, a path, a resource, a book, a moment of clarity or specific experience?

Many, many books have helped me with self-compassion. The Dalai Lama has so many good books out, and I love The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

There is a moment that sticks out most for me as a turning point, though. Maybe 4 or 5 years ago, I was feeling really down on myself about something, I don’t even remember what now. I was near tears, and my husband was comforting me.

“Seems like you’re being pretty hard on yourself,” he very gently said.

I nodded.

“Do you expect anyone else to live up to the standard that you’ve set for yourself?”

And I didn’t. I had set this impossibly high, unrealistic bar for myself that no one could consistently hit. That realization really changed how I judged myself.

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3. How do you practice self-compassion, what does that experience look like for you?

Letting myself fail. Not having to be right all the time. Letting myself off the hook if I’ve tried my best and things didn’t come out like I wanted. A lot of it is forgiveness. I get to be a mortal. I don’t have to be better or stronger than other people. I get to just be a fallible, wonderful, person like everyone else. It means I’m not special, but in a good way.

4. What do you still need to learn, to know, to understand? What is missing from your practice of self-compassion, what do you still struggle with?

That sometimes I need to do stuff that I don’t feel like doing to truly take care of myself. Self-compassion is not just about me feeling good and getting what I want. In a way, it’s like me being a good parent to myself. Sometimes that means doing the exercise or cooking the meal when I don’t feel like it, because it’s really the best thing for me.

And, sometimes, I think I shouldn’t need things that I do. I shouldn’t NEED to take a break. I shouldn’t NEED to ask for help. But I do need them, and accepting those needs and getting them met instead of suppressing them feels like I’m honoring and taking care of myself.

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adorable!

I am so grateful to Laura, for taking the time to answer these questions, for making me smile, making me think, making me feel like the whole glorious mess is completely workable. To find out more about Laura, to connect with her:

Next on Self-Compassion Saturday: Kat McNally.

P.S. If you didn’t see the first post in this series, you might want to read Self-Compassion Saturday: The Beginning. Or make your way through all the posts tagged Self-Compassion Saturday.