Category Archives: yoga

Joy Jam

7 Replies

What were the 3-5 things that gave you joy this week?

1. My dogs. The very first time I did a Joy Jam post, I listed “these three boys” in reference to Eric, Dexter and Sam. I could put the three of them on every Joy Jam, gratitude, Something Good, favorites, things I couldn’t live with out list I ever make. But this week, I think because I’ve been doing the Small Stones posts and have been more attentive to everything, and I spend so much time with them, I have really been noticing how much I adore my dogs. Every single day they bring me joy.

2. Laughing with Eric. It wouldn’t do any good to explain the exact moments, because sometimes there are things that are only funny to you, and won’t make sense to anyone else.

3. Missing Obi. Any of you who have lost someone close to you know that grief can sneak up on you at the oddest times. The wind blows or a door slams or you see something out of the corner of your eye and turn to look, and suddenly you are right there, in the exact moment you lost them, as if it is happening again, right now in this moment. I was in my meditation room the other night, and I caught a glimpse of a picture frame I have on the shelf there–it’s one of those kits that you can make a hand or paw print on one side and put a picture in the other. I made this one of Dexter and Obi’s paw prints, the day before Obi died, and put in one of my favorite pictures of them.

I know it seems strange to mention this in a list of things that brought me joy this week, but the depth of loss and grief I feel for Obi is a reminder, a joyful one, of the capacity for love and connection.

4. Ease and Freedom. These are two things I don’t feel very often, but when I do, I appreciate them so much. This week, there were several times that I felt one or the other, or even both at the same time. Writing on Monday (I made four blog posts that day, and felt ease as I did so), walking the dogs in the snow on Tuesday morning, watching two owls with a student I’d just met (both of us standing so quiet and still, paying attention and wholly in the moment, appreciating the magic), sitting on my meditation cushion last night, practicing yoga this morning, and walking the dogs this afternoon (home early from work on a Friday, a windy but beautiful day).

5. Relax. I have talked many times about Susan Piver and her Open Heart Project. If you sign up to be on the mailing list, a few times a week she sends videos and a written message. One video is typically a discussion of some issue related to meditation (life), important teachings for free. I am continually amazed by her brilliance and generosity. In one of her most recent videos (I apologize for not remembering exactly which one), she talked about how Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche said (she was paraphrasing) that the more he studies, the more he thinks the entire path, the whole dharma, the truth and the teaching and the way could be summed up in a single word: Relax.

This makes me so happy. I’ve heard him say similar things before, so it wasn’t the first time I’d heard the idea, but when Susan reminded me, I felt what I always do: relief, and then joy. It really could be that easy. Something in me says “yes” every time I contemplate the idea. If you relax, you find freedom, space, ease–everything is workable. Seriously, I’ve been trying to disprove this idea with multiple scenarios, but I can’t think of a single situation where things wouldn’t be better simply by relaxing into reality, accepting what is as it is.

  • Where did you find joy this week?

Timeline

Leave a reply

As I was working on cataloging my journals yesterday, I made a timeline, to track back when this particular change in me and my life began. I started writing the blog five months ago, and this life-rehab can sometimes feel like it happened just as recently, but THIS exact shift has been happening for at least three years, like water wearing away at a stone–freezing and thawing, dripping, rushing over and past, slowly changing its shape, causing cracks where the light gets in.

Image: Evgeni Dinev, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some highlights from the timeline:

2007: Therapy. Shambhala Training. Meditation practice.

2008: Yoga. Fitness trainer.

2009: Obi and Kelly diagnosed with cancer the same week. Obi starts chemotherapy. Obi’s cancer goes into remission. Warrior Assembly at Shambhala Mountain Center. Obi’s cancer comes back and we make the decision to stop chemotherapy. Kelly’s cancer comes back too. Obi dies in November.

2010: Major changes to my job, a long and difficult situation finally is resolved. We get Sam. Kelly passes away and I fly to Kentucky for her memorial service. I do a one day writing retreat with a friend that reminds me who I am, what I have always wanted. I restart a daily writing practice. We spend a month in Waldport, Oregon at the beach. I do a weekend online meditation retreat with Pema Chödrön, “Smile at Fear.”

2011: I take a few meditation classes to reestablish my sitting practice. Once a month for four months, I take a day long creative non-fiction writing workshop. Publish an article about Kelly. Join an Artist’s Way group and finally finish the book, having started it the first time ten years ago. 10 years at Colorado State University. WILD writing group starts to meet. Yoga Nidra & Loving-Kindness workshop with Ed & Deb Shapiro, 30 days of unlimited Yoga classes at Old Town Yoga Studio, and Yoga Immersion workshop shift Yoga to a true practice, (no longer just exercise). 25 year high school reunion, (I don’t go). Start a book couple with a friend, reading Gifts of Imperfection by Brene’ Brown. EClasses: Mondo Beyondo, Superhero Photo, and Ordinary Courage. First blog post.

This gradual building, this wave of energy that ripples out into every part of my life, is illustrated by the “bar graph” of my journals–those places where I take notes, record events, vent my feelings, list ideas, doodle, dream and remember and plan.

And this timeline, this review of things reminds me also that true change happens slowly, like water wearing away at a rock, and even then, the basic truth of me–my wisdom and compassion, my calling–doesn’t ever change, it remains constant and the same.