Category Archives: yoga

Gratitude Friday

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This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Sunday’s hike. I wrote about it here, and am still riding on the high of that day, almost a week later. Something big softened and shifted for me that day, and I’m so grateful it did. It was magic. It was medicine.

2. The fresh start of Spring. Everything is coming out and alive again, and it’s early enough in the warm season that we can sit in the back yard in the evenings without having to fight the mosquitoes. A few nights ago, I sat on the back step in kind of a funk, until all three of my boys came out to play, ran around the yard, chasing each other and wrestling and rolling in the grass, and my whole mood lifted, and my heart felt so light, both full and open. It was magic. It was medicine.

3. My 6:30 am yoga class. I’ve been going for over four years now, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning, and even though people have come and gone (and then come back again), there is a pretty consistent group of people. If I am in a bad mood, they always cheer me up. If I am struggling, they always manage to help me shift things, soften me up. This morning in shavasana, with Deva Premal singing and our teacher moving around the room adjusting our shoulders, all of us relaxed and wrapped up in blankets, resting together after practice like naptime in preschool, my heart swelled with love and thanks. It was magic. It was medicine.

4. Video by Susannah Conway in my Blogging from the Heart class. She only makes a few during the course of the class, but it’s so nice to see her face, her smile, hear her voice (she has the most divine accent) and her laugh. She’s smart and funny and kind. This week’s video had me in tears, not because of the subject matter, but because of her–the way she reminds me to love myself, to trust my worth, to have faith in my dreams. It was magic. It was medicine.

5. The Universe says “yes,” again. I was having a rough morning, one of those mornings when the nasty voices of doubt and self-criticism swirl around my head like a nest of yellow-jackets. Then I turned on my computer and saw that one of my very favorite people, someone whose work, her life and her self, her way of being in the world, inspires me and encourages me, had subscribed to follow my blog. I was both humbled and excited, and it truly felt like a reminder from the Universe that yes, I am doing what I need to, what I should, what I have to, yes, this is the right way, keep going. It was magic. It was medicine.

6. “Contemplative Arts Teacher.” Practicing in the Shambhala tradition, contemplative art is not a new concept to me. And, similarly, the idea that there are teachers for each specific tradition isn’t a surprise. However, this past week, I stumbled across a website (can’t even remember how or where now) where the author described herself as a Contemplative Arts Teacher. It felt a little like it did when I was in the 2nd grade and realized that the books I loved reading so much where written by “authors,” people whose job it was to write. I became aware of this new possibility, and felt a longing, deep and true, felt like something I had always wanted without being fully conscious of it had been revealed and named. Gobsmaked. It was magic. It was medicine.

7. Another reminder that while everything is impermanent, and reality can be messy and hard, everything is also beautiful and brilliant. As Pema Chödrön so perfectly says, things “come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

I watched Rocky go last Friday, felt his heart stop, which brought me right back to having to let Obi go, and then losing Kelly, but in that grief is also so much love, so much grace. And yesterday, I watched this video, of Honey the Great Dane and her kitty best friend Lemon, born on the same day and raised together. The end of the story is so sad, with Lemon contracting a mysterious virus and passing at age five, but what is so wonderful is watching them interact and be friends, playing and lounging, being together so happily. It reminded me that while our time together is so short and loss hurts, there is so much love and joy, too. It was magic. It was medicine.

Day of Rest

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Today I’ve been contemplating practice, as Sunday, my day of rest, begins with me moving through my whole set, ending around noon. As I have mentioned before, my primary practices are:

  1. Word (reading and writing them)
  2. Meditation (shamata style)
  3. Yoga (asana, typically hatha style)
  4. Dog (hanging out with them in nature, talking a walk or hike being one of the main ways this is accomplished)

This morning started with half a cup of coffee and half an hour of writing.

Scribble

Then, Eric and I took the dogs on a long walk.

After that, I went to my Sunday morning yoga class.

Yoga Feet

And finally, I went to the Shambhala Meditation Center and spent an hour in both sitting and walking meditation, ending with a series of chants.


When Eric and I were getting ready to take the dogs on a walk this morning, he was brushing their teeth. This was a difficult habit for us to form. There were probably 2-4 years of real effort towards getting it to stick. One or the both of us would try and do pretty well for about two weeks, then months would pass before it would happen again. And it’s not like the boys mind, in fact, they love the taste of the paste so much, they beg for it when we are in the bathroom with them. We knew it was important, and we love our dogs and want to do what’s best for them, but it still was a struggle to do what we needed to do on a regular basis.

For the past few months, Eric has managed to brush the boys’ teeth every day. It’s been long enough that I think it’s safe to say it has been habituated. He explained this morning that he thinks what made the difference was doing it in the morning right before a walk. Something about trying to do it at night was too much of a struggle–he’d be too tired or lazy, or he’d just forget.

I told him the same thing had happened to me with my meditation practice. Even though it was something I wanted, knew the benefits, when I was trying to fit it into my evening routine, it was just too hard to do it–I’d be too tired or lazy, or I’d just forget. We get up at 4:30 am every morning, so thinking I could go strong all day and then manage to get myself on the cushion after 6 pm was like “a normal person trying to meditate at midnight,” Eric pointed out.

But it was hard to think about adding another thing to my morning routine. Even though I get up so early, I have to get a lot done before getting to work: feed the dogs, write for half an hour, check my email, either walk the dogs or do yoga for 1.5 hours, shower or pack a gym bag and go workout, and make a lunch. But as I struggled with trying to meditate in the evening, I started to notice that there was time in the morning, that there were things I could do the night before, like packing my gym bag, or do less of, like reading all my emails, that would allow me to fit my practice in. So, I did. And it’s worked. I feel much better starting my day that way.

So what I’ve been thinking about today is that even when you know what’s best for you, what you want for yourself, even if you long to make that change or adopt that practice, it can take some time to get it to really stick, to become a habit, an embodied way of being. You might have to struggle for a really long time with old habits, rusty viewpoints, and tired excuses. And yet, if you keep at it, keep trying, you’ll find the place it fits, how to make it functional. As always, it’s important to relax and have a sense of humor about things, and to keep in mind that ultimately, it’s all workable.

Are there practices you struggle with, ways of being you long for? Maybe, just for today, you could forgive yourself for not accomplishing them just yet, let go of an idea you have of being perfect or good, and rest, simply contemplate the notion of that practice or that change, without having to do a single other thing about it–at least for today.