Category Archives: Julia Fehrenbacher

Wishcasting Wednesday

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image from Jamie's post

What do you wish to experience?

Contentment. Satisfaction and peace, surrender and acceptance, ease and relaxation, fearlessness and joy, simplicity and engagement.

Love. On every channel, all the time, 24/7. Know it, feel it, be it. Love, love, love. And then, more love. Keep it coming, keep it going.

Health. Full body and full life wholehearted and embodied wellness. I want to light up, shine with it, glow, radiate.

Confidence. Certainty, courage, daring, determination, faith, tenacity.

Self-love. This is most likely a combination or culmination of the rest, what is at the center, the heart of everything else, its foundation, but it seems to be worth an independent mention. I want to move through the hours and days of my life with supreme confidence in my innate wisdom, compassion, strength, and fundamental goodness.

That part of the list is states of being, but there are also “things” I wish to experience.

Playing the ukulele well enough that I wouldn’t embarrass myself. The secret wish underneath is to someday be able to do a duet with Danielle Ate the Sandwich. Just once, please. But I have a lot of work to do first, like learning to play.

Publication. I’m okay without it. I have a full writing life, even if it never happens. Writing is like prayer for me, a spiritual practice, and I am utterly devoted to it. But…I’d also like to be published, as in paid for my work, as in people curled up in hammocks or in front of a fire on the couch cuddling with their dog reading my books.

Paid work that isn’t work, but rather pure love, aligned with my calling, maybe even God’s work. I’ve said it before and it bears repeating that I don’t need what I love to pay my rent, or turn into a business, and yet…it might not be the worst thing if what I love, the work I would do regardless, the thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night thinking and planning, the stuff that makes me wake up and rise at 4:30 am every morning, and the money, the means to take care of what needs taken care of, would be in the same location at the same time, would feed each other, work together, and then I could just do what I love, all the time, instead of trying to juggle full-time paid work with everything else I want to do. It is sometimes like trying to live two lives, and that can be exhausting, and lonely.

Hike the Appalachian Trail with Eric.

My very own writing cabin.

A whole summer in Amsterdam.

Dathun, a month long meditation retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center.

An in-person workshop with Brene’ Brown.

P.S. The magic power of wishing, part two: Holy wow! Brene’ is going to be in Boulder for a two day workshop in May, and I am going.

A yoga retreat with my friend and yoga teacher Jessica.

A writing workshop with Natalie Goldberg.

Church with Anne Lamott.

A meet-up with Susannah Conway. Really, what I would love is a long weekend on the beach with her, writing and blogging and taking pictures and talking and taking long naps and eating and laughing.

P.S. The magic power of wishing: I just found out this morning, less than 24 hours after making this post, that Susannah is going to be at the World Domination Summit, and has proposed a writing workshop. Even if the workshop doesn’t go (it so will), there is a very real chance that I am going to be able to at least tell her in person how much I adore her. I can hardly believe it, but it’s true!

Walk and talk with Mary Oliver. This is most likely the craziest wish on this list, but I would just love to be near her and able to tell her just once in-person how much I love her, how much her words have meant to me.

Swim without fear.

Hike with Judy Clement Wall.
A walk on the beach with Julia.
Take pictures or paint with Andrea Scher.
Sit with Jen Lemen at her kitchen table.
Sit in stillness with Erica Staab.
Meditate with Susan Piver, (oh wait, I actually get to do this in a few weeks!).
Discuss writing with Margaret Atwood, and not embarrass myself.
Trust over a cup of tea with Kristin Noelle.
Make art with Patti Digh.
Take a yoga class with Jennifer Louden.
Ask Pema Chödrön one million questions.
Take a Nia class with Jamie Ridler.
Go on tour with Aimee Mann.
Teach an art and writing class for girls with Kandyce.
Draw with Hugh MacLeod.
Listen to Neil Gaiman read.

I could keep going with this list forever and ever…so many good people doing so much good stuff and I want to just hang out with them and soak up all that goodness and tell them to their sweet faces how much I adore them.

41 6-Word Days

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image from Judy's post

I was going to add this to my Something Good list today, but decided it deserved it’s own post. On A Human Thing, Judy posted a reflection, where she explained it this way:

At the same time that I launched A Human Thing, I launched a project with my friend, Julia Fehrenbacher, called “41 6-Word Days.” We invited people to join us, and they did, sharing their lives in beautiful, revealing, clumsy, poetic 6-word snippets. Most people wandered in and out of the space, but ten hardy souls went the distance with us, posting all 41 days.

It was sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, with so many moments of magic and so many of grace, and I loved being part of this “project.” I was one of the ten that did all 41 days, and Judy was nice enough to put together our lists in a shared summary. Here’s mine:

♥Jill♥

Struggled with everything, then let go.
~~~
Snow and cold, two warm dogs.
~~~
Lots of words, only one picture.
~~~
Work though I’d rather stay home.
~~~
Where does this sadness come from?
~~~
Flooding in Oregon, worrying in Colorado.
~~~
I can’t drink like that anymore.
~~~
Dreamed of three ladybugs in snow.
~~~
Upside down, love rushes towards you.
Thank goodness the wall was there.
Thank goodness the teacher was there.
Thank goodness for headstands in yoga.
~~~
This isn’t working for me anymore.
~~~
I can’t go to work today.
~~~
Before dawn, we walk alone, together.
~~~
I am aware, but can’t move.
~~~
Medium or psychic, you’re a liar.
~~~
I wish Sunday would never end.
~~~
Finally, kind attention causes a shift.
~~~
Two long walks with my dogs.
~~~
Wishing, understanding, gratitude: love, love, love.
~~~
Three hour nap instead of work.
~~~
Cold snow, warm blueberry bagel: comfort.
~~~
Smells: banana bread, cupcakes, and laundry.
~~~
Rough Sunday. I wished for Monday.
~~~
I’m full of light and beans.
~~~
Bed full of dog and love.
~~~
I want to go to there.
~~~
Finally made some progress at work.
He doesn’t know what happened? Bullshit.
Play growl or mean growl? We disagree.
~~~
Fantasizing about running away from home.
~~~
I vowed: basic goodness, enlightened society.
~~~
Running, playing, yoga-ing, eating, and napping.
~~~
Do you see that? Good dog!
~~~
Hoping the blood test reveals something.
~~~
Burger and fries, donuts: sinking fast.
(Conversation with myself, how not embarrassing.) 🙂
~~~
Surprise love note: “you’re my favorite.”
~~~
Perimenopause?! You’ve got to be kidding…
~~~
Dinner with Rachel Cole, holy wow.
~~~
A circle of woman around me.
~~~
Apparently, dog training works. Who knew?
~~~
Try this next–hope it works.
~~~
Water Dragon entered on fierce winds.
~~~
Sore muscles, tender heart, open eyes.
~~~
A circle of women writing WILDly,
filled my home with WILD words.
Mine? Blackout poem for Tina Fey.
~~~
Mending dog babies, celebrating human baby.
~~~
It is important to say goodbye.
End with love, just in case.
Especially when that’s where you started.
Much love to Julia and Judy.
The rest of you are amazing.
Openhearted, brave, wise, kind, and hilarious.
Thank you. Love you. Love, Me.
~~~
At night, I sleep, dreaming words.
At dawn, I wake, thinking words.
Arranging them in rows of six.
Then I remember, we are finished.
I am awake, alone, and sad.
But then I remember love, laughter.
I offer a prayer of thanks.
Form leaves us, but love remains.