1. Morning walks. We made it out a bit earlier this week but were still about 15 minutes too late most days to be on the trail as the sun was rising, so next week — even earlier! I am so grateful to live where we do, so close to so many trails and bodies of water. Ringo needed a break from his harness so we’ve been walking him on a collar, and I can really tell how much more mature he is, how much more he trusts me, because all it takes is a tiny shift in the way I’m walking or holding the leash and he shifts and is right there with me, and most of the time I hardly even have to hold on to stay connected — that may just be a metaphor for our relationship.

2. Raintree Athletic Club. I love the space, the pool, the classes, the sauna, the hydromassage chair, the people.

3. Reading. You know how some people talk about their “TBR pile” (“to be read”)? I have many throughout my house, along with bookshelves and a Kindle full of books I want to read. It has been the love of my life for almost my whole life. It’s never left me and my love has never faded, only grown.

4. Retreat. Calyx and I are starting a retreat together later today. We came up with a schedule, time to practice together and on our own, made a commitment to give ourselves the time and each other the support. We’ll go through Wednesday and I am really looking forward to it. When I was making art with my friend Janice this week, I made this collage in honor of the plan.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. I had a moment this week where I allowed myself to think about what my life would be like if something happened to Eric. I do not want to go to there, even though at some point I will (or he will). May we have many, many more good years together and an easy death.

Bonus joy: good music, listening to podcasts, naps, good books, good TV, true crime, writing, strawberries, raspberries, tulips in bloom, lemon yogurt covered almonds, caramel, taco salad, the internet (the way it connects me with people and information and content), dogs, a big glass of cold clean water, a warm shower, my weighted blanket, therapy, massage, other people’s kindness, laughing, hugs, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. Morning walks. We’ve been walking later, with me lingering over my morning practices, still on a schedule that was set for a 7:30 am sunrise. Now that the light is changing, I’m recommitting to getting up and out earlier in the following weeks so we can be on the trail when the sun rises. This week, there was lots of sun, a heron and an osprey and another kind of hawk hunting for breakfast, many sticks to carry, and a woman who saw Ringo and said, “hello, precious.”

2. Practicing in community. Making art with Calyx and Janice, Wild Writing with Laurie and the Friday morning group, using my Insight Timer app and seeing friends who are meditating “with” me, and the upcoming retreat Calyx and I are planning for ourselves.

3. Therapy. I typically find a new therapist when I’m in crisis and once that passes, I quit. This means that the deeper work doesn’t get done and the next crisis is inevitable. This time around I’m trying something new, staying soft and showing up when I’m not so shook up, when I’m stable enough to have the capacity to go deeper, face the things that are more complicated and more confusing, the beliefs and habits that are sticky and old. Trust me, acting as if “everything’s fine now” is a lot easier, but I’m shooting for a more sustainable and lasting ease. AND absolutely I’m aware of what a privilege this choice is, to have the necessary help available and affordable.

4. Yard time. Sitting out in the backyard in the sun while Ringo lies on the green grass, both of us not really doing anything at all. It’s even better if Eric is there too.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. These are the days I always dreamed of, the life I always wanted.

Bonus joy: old style potato chips, purple cabbage, lime, good neighbors (and the “bad” ones moving out), other people’s dogs, one hybrid and one electric car and only one car payment, purple, paint, green soft new grass, a full moon, other people’s babies, books, house plants, that corner of the couch, good TV, listening to podcasts, tortillas, lemon flavored yogurt dipped almonds, caramel, texting with Mom and Chris and Chloe’, the hydromassage chair, my gym community, a warm shower and soft towel, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.