Monthly Archives: February 2023

Something Good

Image by Eric

1. The Kō Strategies. I already shared about this a few weeks ago, but y’all, I just got the first newsletter and it was so good, I needed to tell you about it again and encourage you to sign up for it. “Kō is the Japanese name for the 72 micro-seasons that make up the solar year. Each has its own particular mood and focus. The purpose of these seasonal micro-divisions is to remind us that life is changing in every instant, and to encourage us to throw ourselves into the full experience of being alive. To make the most of each moment. It’s a higher resolution year, performed in 72 acts. The Kō Strategies are designed to help you navigate the year, to draw attention to the fact that you are here, alive, now, and how important it is to make the most of it all.”

2. Practicing in 2023 from Justine Taormino.

3. 28 Days of Black History. This year’s Black History Month is more important than ever, urgent even with so many with so much power making moves to erase Black history. In related news, Blaqueer[Blacker]Stories from Robert Jones, Jr., “This Black History Month, I’m thinking about omitted Black queer histories and how uncovering and learning from them can lead to revolutionary Black action. And healing.”

4. What would have saved Tyre Nichols’ life? “All of the reforms that liberals suggest will save Black lives were present in Tyre’s death. So what works?” In related news, 12 Things To Do Instead of Calling the Cops — “Tips for conflict resolution, crisis intervention, and keeping your and other communities safe without the police!” Also this: Why We Don’t Say “Reform the Police” — “Reforms that leave policing’s core functions in place will not prevent state violence against Black people. To build a better society, we must abolish policing altogether.” And The Official Mapping Police Violence Database and this FAQ on MPD150, “a community-based initiative challenging the narrative that police exist to protect and serve.” And finally, What is the George Floyd Justice in Policing Act and is it likely to pass?

5. Ten Percent Happier #522. What Science and Buddhism Say About How to Regulate Your Own Nervous System | Deb Dana & Kaira Jewel Lingo. (podcast)

6. How Do You Want to Exist in the World from Jami Attenberg.

7. This is 50 from Susannah Conway. “The most wonderful thing about getting older is I give so much less of a shit about the things that did not and do not matter.”

8. Good stuff from Seth Godin: “No photos” and Get/Want/Have to.

9. The State of Social Media (As It Pertains To Writers In Particular) from Chuck Wendig on Terrible Minds.

10. How to Begin Freelance Writing as an Introvert.

11. The Dangers of Courage Culture and Why Brene Brown Isn’t For Black Folk.

12. Helping a loved one who is suicidal, a Twitter thread.

13. How To Choose Happiness (even when it’s difficult).

14. Wisdom from Courtney Carver on Be More With Less: “We need to keep reminding each other to slow down and enjoy our lives. Because we forget. Things like busyness, urgency, little kids, illness, grief, stress and overwhelm swoop in and whisper in our ears … you are falling behind, you need to catch up, you are lazy, no pain, no gain, you don’t deserve joy. And we respond by running in circles, feeling more stressed by comparing who we are to who we think we are supposed to be. The not so great news is that all of the things that are out of control will continue to whisper. The good news is we can change our response. Instead of responding with panic, we can notice the whispers and then choose to answer differently. We can undo our todos, slow down, be in awe of something, enjoy a simple pleasure and do what ever it takes to come back to our hearts.”

15. How to Focus Like It’s 1990 on The New York Times. “Smartphones, pings and Insta-everything have shortened our attention spans. Get some old-school concentration back with these tips.”

16. How to Read Recklessly, Part One. “Last year, I knew my reading habits had to change. So I undertook a grand experiment.”

17. The 30-minute noticing workout from Austin Kleon.

18. What My Jeans (of All Things!) Taught Me About Love.

19. Octavia Butler’s “Essentials of Success.”

20. Charlie Mackesy: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, the Horse and Me. (video — sadly only available to stream in the UK) “Charlie Mackesy’s The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse has touched millions of readers around the world and is now an animated film. This is the story of the man behind the book. At the age of 56, he published his extraordinary tale, which in less than two years sold over eight million copies worldwide, sitting on the Sunday Times Bestseller List longer than any other book ever. This intimate, revealing portrait lets us into Charlie’s world, exploring how he came to write the book and following him as he embarks on turning The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse into an animated film. With insights from friends, including film-maker Richard Curtis and explorer Bear Grylls, an unexpected story unfolds of how grief and vulnerability were turned into a message of strength and compassion that has helped thousands of readers.”

21. Good stuff from Lion’s Roar: 5 Meditations to Calm Your Anxious Mind (“Five easy meditations you can do to find calm, care for yourself, and ease your anxiety in any situation”), and How to Open Your Heart Further (“Pema Khandro Rinpoche on cultivating the boundless love of a bodhisattva”), and Reimagining Safety After a Mass Shooting (“In the aftermath of the mass shooting that killed 11 people on January 21 at Star Ballroom Dance Studio in Monterey Park, California, Kathy Yep reflects on the meaning of safety and healing in her community”), and The Buddha’s Four Foundations of Mindfulness (“Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi unpacks the Buddha’s original mindfulness manual”).

22. 15 Simple Things That Make Highly Sensitive People Happy.

23. Project Sunroof Uses Google Maps to Measure Your Roof’s Solar Income Potential. This is why we opted for an electric car instead. The way the math worked (and the same result given on this site), it would take us 20 years of use before we broke even, before the savings started to outweigh the cost, so we spent the same amount of money to trade a gas powered car for an electric one. NOT to imply that the cost or return is the only factor in choosing to go solar. This is a super useful tool to help you consider making the purchase if cost and return are an issue for you.

24. What’s WRONG with school lunch in the U.S.? (video) “School lunch in the U.S. can be awful. Compared to countries like Japan, France and Brazil — where public school students are often served scratch-cooked, appetizing meals — the U.S. is really lagging. So what’s the deal? Yara goes deep into the U.S. school lunch system to look for answers, and to see just how bad – and how good – American school lunch can get.”

25. Inside David Harbour & Lily Allen’s Brooklyn Townhouse | Open Door | Architectural Digest. (video) “Today Architectural Digest is welcomed to Brooklyn, New York by David Harbour and Lily Allen for a tour of their exuberant family townhouse. Working hand in hand with AD100 designer Billy Cotton and architect Ben Bischoff of MADE, Lily and David have created an exciting and singular home within their stately late-19th-century brownstone in Carroll Gardens. ‘Lily is someone who lives with color in a deeper way than most. Her taste is bold, silly, fun, eccentric—it’s exciting,’ says the Stranger Things actor and star of the recent blood-splattered Christmas spectacular Violent Night. ‘I’ve always been interested in interiors, and I’ve always done my own homes. But this was a big undertaking, and I needed help.’ says Allen. ‘Together, Billy and I tried to reach for something weird and wonderful.'”

26. Recipes I want to try: Oatmeal chocolate chip bars and Chocolate Protein Muffins and 31 Lemon Cookies for Lemon Lovers Only and How to Make Biscuits and Gravy Like a Southerner and I tried Gordon Ramsay’s favorite 10-minute pasta and now I know why he makes it every week.

27. 8 tips for staying positive during SAD season, from a psychiatrist.

28. Why we loved Everything Everywhere All at Once — and why we hope it wins the Oscar.

29. Inuit short film makes the Oscars short list. (video)

30. 6 Ways to Cope With High-Functioning Anxiety as an Introvert.

31. Two Kisses We Never Talked About on The New York Times, from the Modern Love series. “Sometimes you really have to show up for your ex. This was one of those times.”

32. They Were Proud Houston Homeowners. Then It All Fell Apart. on The New York Times.

33. 27-Year-Old Pays $1,850/Month to Live in an Old NYC Laundromat: ‘I Knew True Community as a Child and I Know It Again Now.’ 

34. Steve-O begs Bam Margera to get sober while bracing for news of his death. Anyone who has ever watched someone slowly unalive themselves with drugs and/or alcohol knows how incredibly painful it is to not be able to save them.

35. ‘Dear Edward’ tugs — and tugs, and tugs — at your heartstrings. “Because all art manipulates, if by that we only mean provoking a response and doing it intentionally. Breaking your heart, making you mad, keeping you on the edge of your seat, cracking you up — these are all manipulations of the artist, if that term is defined broadly enough.”

36. Kiva Gift Store, “high-quality products (think jewelry, sculptures, clothing and other art) made by Kiva borrowers, as well as Kiva-branded gear. In addition to supporting artisan borrowers, every purchase at the Kiva Store also supports Kiva’s operations.”

37. Inside the meteoric rise of Mikayla Nogueira, the TikTok mega-influencer whose reputation for authenticity may soon come crashing down.

38. Lucky girl syndrome and the endless rebranding of “The Secret.”

39. Graffiti, grammar and farts: how small moments make Happy Valley an all-time great. “Sally Wainwright’s astounding drama might be a propulsive, plot-driven beast, but it’s TV perfection for another reason – the warm, spectacularly written details.”

40. Eco-friendly Nigerian artist turns plastic flip-flops into portraits.

41. Here is What’s Happening to US Honey Bees. “What’s behind the widespread loss of honey bee colonies? A new study has some answers.”

42. Here’s How Moms For Liberty Is Lying About Books.

43. I Tried At-Home Ketamine Therapy. Now I Wish I’d Never Done It.

44. ‘The Whale’ is a horror film that taps into our fear of fatness.

45. The Astonishing Biodiversity of Fungi Blooms in Max Mudie’s Macro Photographs.

46. Ten Percent Happier: How to Stop the War Against Yourself – A conversation with Tara Brach & Dan Harris. (podcast)

47. 5 Things to Know About Menopause and Hormone Therapy on The New York Times. “Rebecca Thurston, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh who studies menopause, believes that, in general, menopausal women have been underserved — an oversight that she considers one of the great blind spots of medicine. ‘It suggests that we have a high cultural tolerance for women’s suffering,’ Thurston says. ‘It’s not regarded as important.'”

48. For anyone that’s been made to feel like you are too much…you are just the right amount, a beautiful Instagram reel message from Elyse Myers.

49. 21-year-old with autism helps run family T-shirt business. (video) “Jordyn Moore, a 21-year-old who was born with autism and verbal apraxia, works full time at her family business — a T-shirt company her mom created for her. They sell shirts with a simple message: ‘Be Kind to Everyone.'”

50. If you can’t take in anymore, there’s a reason. “An essay on circuit breakers, empty buckets, and the shame-show of social media.”

51. How to Lose Everything, “an Indigenous series of animated short films that explore personal stories of loss. The five films’ stories span nations, languages, and perspectives on heartache.”

52. Kelly Link in Praise of Ursula K. Le Guin’s Genuine Magic.

53. Ron DeSantis Wants to Erase Black History. Why? on The New York Times.

54. The Artist who Couldn’t Draw: an animated film by Danny Gregory. (video) “Roger was super-creative but he had a major secret. Until one day…..
In his first animated film, best-selling author Danny Gregory tells the story of how an artist overcame his block — and changed his life forever.” Danny Gregory also has a great video series, Advice for Creatives.

55. Countless Hand-Scored Notches Comprise Aquatic Sculptures by Lisa Stevens.

56. A Message that will Change Your Life. (video) “If I could only leave one video behind me after my time on this earth, I would choose this one. Because I believe that every human on this earth can at least find one message in this video that goes right through their barriers and reaches the soul. This video contains everything that I’ve ever wished to share and give through my videos/music/art. It opens our hearts and give us space to heal. Because it makes us understand that we are not alone in this world. We are not as different from each other that we might think. Together we have the power to create a more loving, peaceful world through compassion and understanding. And watching this video at least make me feel like a wave of hope and light.” Jonna Jinton, “a Swedish artist, musician and filmmaker and I live in the beautiful woods in the North of Sweden. Here on my YouTube channel I share a mix of everything that I feel passionate about. From stories and glimpses of my everyday life to music, kulning (nordic herdingcalls), painting, ice baths, nature and inspirational films and much more,” asked her four million followers to send her a short video of themselves answering the question, “If you could say something to four million people, what would you say?”

 

What I’ve Learned So Far: Embody

I should know better. Every time I chose a guiding word for the year it always turns out to be more of a “be careful what you wish for” situation than a celebration. This year is turning out to be no different. I think maybe I picked “embody” in part because I was ready to move on from some of what I’d been experiencing: being stuck, being tired, feeling disconnected and homesick for myself. In that sense, embody seemed the perfect intention, the best guide, and while it’s been harder than what I’d hoped for, I suppose it’s still the right word, still the most accurate.

The past year was hard on my body. Menopause and a worsening of the arthritis in my hands, limiting my energy and my movement in ways that were super frustrating after the previous two years of burnout, grief & loss, and a global pandemic. I’d also been having digestive issues since May, but thought it was new medication I was taking, but the fourth time it happened, it clearly was something that wasn’t going to go away on its own — and it didn’t, instead required a hospital stay and medication. The new year began with the promise of a colonoscopy and the possibility of surgery, and then I got COVID, which is taking forever to recover from. Seriously?!

I’ve learned a few things worth sharing. In particular about colonoscopy prep but also about health issues in general and the things that have helped me navigate them. So often, especially with things related to menopause and digestion (i.e. poop), we are embarrassed or even ashamed to talk about them, anything to do with blood or waste we avoid as topics of conversation, especially in public. I get it. I don’t really want to talk about it either, and yet, not talking about it makes each person who has the experience (and it’s a lot of people having them) feel unnecessarily alone, confused, and unprepared.

What I can tell you about getting a colonoscopy:

(This is specifically in relation to prep using polyethylene glycol 3350 and electrolytes oral solution — GoLytely, Colyte, NuLytely, TriLyte, etc.)

  • Don’t avoid it. They say “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” for a reason. It’s easier to stop something from happening in the first place than to repair the damage after it has happened, if the damage can even be repaired. Colon cancer numbers in people under 50 are rising. While we are on the subject of preventative health screenings: if you can (because access and affordability of these things isn’t equally available to all), if you can, have a primary care physician who knows your history and can be your advocate, get a yearly physical with bloodwork, get your teeth cleaned and checked every six months, go to the dermatologist once a year and have them check your various moles and bumps, and women please please please keep up with your pap smears and mammograms.
  • Drink your prep with a straw, suck on a hard candy or cough drop in between cups. My prep required me to drink 13 cups of gluck (I know that’s not a real word but it’s the right one in this case) in the span of two hours, and another six cups the next morning. The taste wasn’t so bad, because it came with a pack of lemon flavoring and I was allowed to add Crystal Light lemonade powder to the mix, but the consistency in combination with the flavor got to me. Straws and something to suck on in between to get the taste out of my mouth really helped.
  • Stay hydrated. The prep’s job is to suck all the water, etc., out and expel it from your body until you are left with nothing. To not feel extra and unnecessary discomfort requires replacing the liquid lost. I made sure to have Gatorade and Vitamin Water and tea on hand and to drink it throughout the day to stay hydrated. I’m convinced this kept me from getting the nausea and stomach pain that is a potential side effect.
  • Have wipes and A&D ointment. And use them from the very beginning. If you wait until you need them, it will be too late and you’ll experience unnecessary additional discomfort. The best scenario would be to also have a bidet.
  • Try to stay off social media and out of the kitchen. I never realized how many posts and ads there were in my feeds related to food. Since I was fasting, on a liquid diet and so hungry, seeing these or spending too much time in my kitchen just made things harder.
  • Distract yourself the day of your prep. Keep busy, whatever that looks like for you. For me it was walking the dog, doing laundry, watering my plants, getting all my supplies and spaces ready, listening to podcasts and watching TV, taking a nap.
  • If you can, take the day of prep and the day of the procedure off. Build this necessary down time in to your schedule, whatever that might look like for you. Try not to be responsible for anything other than taking care of yourself. And again, I acknowledge that to do so is a privilege not everyone has. Whatever it looks like, just be so so gentle with yourself.
  • Schedule your procedure for a time of day where you will have already been awake for six hours. This is because drinking the prep solution and the aftermath happens in two parts — the evening before and six hours before your procedure. This means if you have a morning appointment, you will have to wake up in the middle of the night to complete the second step, and I’ve heard regrets from people who’ve done it that way. That said, I can see that for some people getting the whole thing over with sooner rather than later might be their preference.
  • Plan to be near your bathroom. When your body starts evacuating, it happens hard and fast. You don’t want to be far from your facilities. I made up the futon in my practice room to sleep on rather than the couch or even our bed because it’s directly across from our bathroom and I wouldn’t be disturbing anyone else getting up so often. I’ve even known people who’ve made themselves a bed on the bathroom floor to be closer. Just know you will have a few hours of making many and frequent trips, so plan accordingly.
  • Cultivating mindfulness practices is helpful. My experience with meditation, breath work, and mantra was such a help to me. This was true during my recent hospital stay as well. Essentially these practices helped me to stay calm and present with myself, to work with any discomfort or chaos, to know when to ask for help and be able to do so. These things are already stressful enough, so anything you can do to mitigate the stress, to keep from generating more suffering is worth trying.
  • Have a colonoscopy buddy. Okay, I didn’t and wouldn’t plan this but a friend just so happened to be doing prep for her own procedure at the same time. It was nice to be able to message each other, to be connected to that support, to be able to share in the misery. I was also lucky enough to have a person “in house” to take care of me, again another privilege not everyone has.
  • Plan for a lighter, easier to digest meal after your procedure. Plan to take it easy on your system for the next few days. It’s been through a lot and even though as you fast on a liquid diet you might dream of cheese burgers or pizza, your system may not be ready so soon. I ate mashed potatoes, chicken breast, green beans, and a banana for “dessert” that night and it was one of the best meals I’ve ever eaten. On Tuesday, I’m going to order a pizza and make a cake to celebrate, to honor all I’ve been through the past few months, and then I’ll go back to focusing on eating lots of fiber and veggies.

If this is something you are scheduled to do, may these tips be helpful. May you experience as little discomfort as possible, get good results, and recover quickly. If you have any hints to add, tips or things to avoid, kind and gentle reader, please share, leave a comment. May we all be safe, healthy, happy, and well, whatever our circumstances.