December | 2020 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

Tried to take a picture of all three of us in front of the tree. This is the best we could do.

1. Merry everything, happy always! I am so grateful we got this far and are healthy, happy, and safe.

2. Mabel Magazine, Issue #5. It really is the best one yet, and I’m so glad that Liz and Stefanie reached out and asked me to submit — I really wanted to, but hadn’t managed the effort on my own (burnout is brutal!), couldn’t land on what to write when the theme was “living in the now,” but with their encouragement I was able to put something together, and I’m so happy to be sharing space on these pages.

3. Exchanging gifts with Eric. He always gets me the best presents, some things I wanted, asked for, and then some I would have never even thought of but are perfect. He’s so cute on Christmas morning, just like a kid, can’t wait to open his presents.

4. Morning walks. The darkest part of the year, but also so pretty out — cold, quiet, and the best sunrises.

5. Christmas cards and other good mail. I have the sweetest, kindest friends and family. One of these years, I’ll send out some cards. Probably. Maybe…?

Bonus Joy: watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music, early mornings when it’s still dark but the Christmas lights are on, texting with everyone I miss and haven’t seen it WAY TOO long, all the people who worked so hard so the rest of us could stay home and safe (in particular, the people working at the grocery store and those putting together and delivering packages), all the first responders and medical professionals and those who worked on the vaccines, writing and hanging out with Mikalina, texts from Chloe’ that include cute pictures and videos, videos and pictures of Lia, having shopped early so most everything got where it was supposed to go on time, clementines, being done with all the cooking in time to take a shower and a nap before eating it, the ease of a day like today, Eric being off work so he can spend more time resting and with me, cheddar cayenne biscuits, audiobooks and podcasts, the sticker on my laptop that reminds me “it’s ok,” knowing it’s okay to rest, all the new books, meditating in the morning in front of the Christmas tree, writing while drinking a hot cup of coffee in front of my HappyLight, a warm shower, clean sheets, dental floss, bird feeders, naps, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

1. Wisdom from Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel: “Interdependence offers us a new way of looking at things by drawing us out of the narrow tunnel of self-absorption into a broader awareness. It shows us the way to live in sane relationship to our world, in grace. This understanding is not only inextricably linked with our survival but with basic sanity and insight as well.”

2. What’s your whimsy? on Rita’s Notebook. I’ve always thought of this as “finding your thing,” and my friend Mikalina and I were talking about this last week and I said, almost as much to myself as her, “what if that gentle flow we feel when we ‘play’ isn’t merely taking a break but actually the way IN?” It’s worth considering.

3. Wisdom from Anne Helen Petersen: “…you really just need to give yourself a fucking break. Whatever you’ve done this year in your personal or professional life, it’s enough. You are beloved and worthy of rest. Not because of your capacity to work, or your relative capacity to subsist on fumes. You are beloved and worthy of rest because you are human, not a robot. This year has emptied us. Give yourself permission to continue to seek fullness.”

4. Grief in the Covid era will weigh on the American psyche for years to come. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

5. What Happened in Room 10? “The Life Care Center of Kirkland, Washington, was the first COVID hot spot in the U.S. Forty-six people associated with the nursing home died, exposing how ill-prepared we were for the pandemic — and how we take care of our elderly. This is their story.”

6. What Scandinavians Can Teach Us About Embracing Winter on The New York Times. I appreciated this article as it reinforced I’m getting at least one thing right this year.

7. End of year reflection questions from Courtney Carver on Be More With Less.

8. Ocean Vuong: On Hope, Fire Escapes, and Visible Desperation, On Being.

9. COVID-19 News: ‘Absolutely remarkable’: No one who got Moderna’s vaccine in trial developed severe COVID-19, and A doctor on 9 things that could go wrong with the new vaccines.

10. Nez Perce Tribe acquires historic Hayes Farm. In related news, Clatsop-Nehalem tribes plan after return of ancestral land. “We realized that though we have a conservation mission, our connection to this land is not, and could never be, as deep and important and meaningful as the connection of the Clatsop people,” Voelke said. “What we owned was one of the most important places to other people, and why would we own that when we know that those other people will care for it even more greatly than we would?” Also, Biden makes historic Cabinet pick with Deb Haaland for interior secretary, “The Congress member would become the first Native American Cabinet member if confirmed by the Senate.”

11. Jena Schwartz: Day 209.

12. The 15 best books our book critic read this year.

13. Home for Christmas Season 2 | Official Trailer | Netflix. (video) Every bit as good as Season One.

14. Public Work | #EFF2020: A Holiday Campaign (Uncensored). (video) “Everyone agrees: the year 2020 could not have been worse. So, we decided to give it the send-off it deserves.”

15. Designer Can’t Stop Rearranging Everyday Objects into Visually Satisfying Compositions.

16. Andy Goldsworthy’s Ice and Snow Ephemeral Sculptures.

17. Thank God For Dan Levy.

18. While Making the World a Better Place, Jacques Pépin Also Wants to Make Our Lives Easier.

19. Nikki Giovanni, Finding the Song in the Darkest Days on The New York Times. “Part of the Black Arts Movement in the 1960s, part of a Biden campaign ad in 2020, she has never stopped writing.”

20. Sevens by Deborah Thompson. Debby and I worked together at CSU. She’s a dog person and one of my favorite nonfiction writers.

21. Wild Writing Family [with Laurie Wagner] – Interview with Alison Luterman. (video)

22. 5 Survival Tips for When You Don’t Fit in With a Social Group.

23. On burnout: Buddhist teacher Mushim Patricia Ikeda shares her tips to avoid burnout, and How I Avoid Burnout: Buddhist Priest Daniel Soten Lynch, and How To Build a Burnout Recovery Plan.

24. Allie Brosh on Her New Book and the Trouble With Solutions, “an interview with the fierce and funny author and artist, Allie Brosh, plus advice on recognizing if someone you love is struggling with depression even if they’re not physically near you, and dogs, lots of dogs.”