1. We did a thing. After a brief moment spent considering putting solar panels on our house, and with all the incentives and rebates available right now, it was too good to pass up: an all electric, 2019 Nissan Leaf. I am grateful that we can buy a whole new car without much hassle, that we have excellent credit and the necessary funds and privilege up the wazoo. I’m glad that so many things came together to make this an easy choice that just so happens to be good for the environment too.
2. Allowing myself the support I need. I had weaned myself off CBD, which I was taking for work stress, since I wasn’t working anymore. Turns out work was distracting me from a bunch of ongoing anxiety triggers and until I am more healed from my burnout and more settled into this new phase of my life, I actually need even more support than ever dealing with hsp, anxiety, and c-ptsd (which as a tag team trigger some pretty serious depression). Trying these new gummies cause even though Charlotte’s Web costs more, their products are such high quality they are my go-to when I try anything new.
3. Practice. I know for a lot of people the work, the journey, the path is primarily external – about getting somewhere, making a change that can be seen, going a way that can be tracked, offering something tangible. If you look at me and try to see some evidence of a shift, right now it would be hard to find because it’s mostly internal, happening in a landscape only I can see. I can’t offer you any proof of anything. You are just going to have to trust me. Thank goodness for practice, for the support I get from writing and meditation and yoga and dog(s).
4. Kitchen counter love notes. I can always count on Eric to be there for me. He’s my soft place to land, the one who can make me laugh no matter what is happening, the dude who gets up early to feed and walk the dogs so I can get another hour of sleep.
5. My tiny family. Along with Eric, Sam and Ringo are such a comfort and good company, provide so much joy and the occasional comedic relief.
Bonus joy: sometimes skipping the walk and yoga and the gym so I can stay home in the morning and putter around, good TV (they just added a bunch of new episodes of Call the Midwife on Netflix and the second season of I’m Sorry was just as funny as the first), good books (still working my way through all of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies and finishing up Tea and Cake with Demons: A Buddhist Guide to Feeling Worthy by Adreanna Limbach), having all the laundry done and put away, bran muffins with dried raspberries, fresh raspberries (I had forgotten how yummy they are!), sunny but cooler days, wearing a sweatshirt and socks, feeling stronger, reading, taking naps, cooking, libraries and librarians.
Keep moving forward, it is not meant to be easy. I understand believe me. I just put away some of my work stuff. I haven’t thrown it away, not sure I can or will, but today I did this without tears and I feel my healing starting to happen.
Love the strength you give me in your writing!
Thanks for this! It helps to know there are a few other people making this transition with me. ❤