What do you wish to delight in?
I wish to delight in things that are alive, that make me come alive and feel wide awake: color, strong feelings, flowers, trees, green soft grass under my bare feet, birds and insects in flight, soft animal bodies, fresh and luscious food, movement, music, song, dancing, books, someone telling the truth and being brave even when it’s hard and even when they aren’t sure if they’ll be able to, the constant dependability of the waves and the sunrise and breath, things hand and heartmade, friends, long conversations, open hearts, laughter, his smile, the way he looks at me, the wag of their tails, a deep sigh, love, love, love. Even hard goodbyes, because if you love someone so much that their leaving unhinges you, and all either of you can do is look into each others eyes and cry (but you are looking, seeing, fully present with that person and that pain), and when you hug that last time, you don’t want to let go, it means that you’ve loved, and are loved, and I want that.
I wish to delight in the wisdom, gentleness, kindness, and strength of my highest, best self. She has such power, is filled with such love, and speaks to me with such confidence and clarity, knows how to be and what to do, carries the truth. She sometimes sends me messages through this blog, telling me secrets, encouraging me, telling me she’ll never give up, no matter what. She whispers to me in my dreams, in moments of stillness, by way of my intuition and through the beat of my heart. She knows what’s best, has every answer to every question that will every arise, and all I have to do is listen and trust her. She’ll never lie, never try to trick or manipulate me–she loves me.
I wish to delight in rest and play. I know I say this over and over, but my current approach to life–mostly work, work until I can’t possibly work any more–isn’t sustainable, and is certainly not motivated by love. I want love and joy and mindfulness of the present moment to be as necessary to me, as lovely and desirable as work, task, and toil.
I wish to delight in time and space. I want to be in the moment, experience and appreciate who and what is happening, show up with the confidence Susan Piver describes, “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.”
I wish to delight in my physical sense of taste and movement, in my senses. This is a direct connection between myself and reality, the most vivid and immediate way in to the present moment. Eating, moving (“Don’t move the way fear makes you move. Move the way love makes you move. Move the way joy makes you move.” ~Osho), breathing in air and scent, listening and looking at the whole precious world, taking it all in, the beauty and the brutality, experiencing it, even in moments of rest and stillness, connected and aware that I am alive.