1. Snow. Same day, three years ago, we got about 16 inches, and about ten years ago at the very end of Spring Break, we had close to three feet, so it’s absolutely normal to get some bigger snows this time of year, and they usually are just like this: wet and heavy. I was in bed recovering and Eric was a able to do a remote version of his big presentation at a meeting happening in Denver, where they got about double the amount of snow we had here. Of course, later in the week, it’s supposed to be back up into the low 60s.

2. Recovery from surgery. I am grateful it is going so well, but it’s also been rough. The first day, I developed a reaction to either meds I was giving with anesthesia or the mega doses of acetaminophen and ibuprofen I was taking to avoid having to take the more powerful pain meds (flushed, hot, itchy face and chest), so I had to stop those, which made the pain harder to manage. Then the few doses of opioids I needed to take backed me up and I was miserable for another 24 hours, and so dependent on ice packs to help with the pain that I got ice burns on my belly and had to back off on that relief. THEN, because I had to stop my HRT for a few days because where my estrogen patch has to attach is right where my incision and stiches sit, I started something called a “withdrawal bleed.” But today, I’m feeling better and am going to remove some of the bandages, take a shower, and restart my HRT — fingers crossed it all goes much easier from here on out. I have had good company while I rest and recover. The best company, my favorite.

3. Good books. Many people I know on social media brag about how they no longer read self-help books, like they’ve somehow evolved past them. There are a lot of bad ones, and it can be problematic to read a bunch but not manifest any sort of change, or conversely to always be bullying yourself into being a “better version” of you, whatever that means, but when you find a good one at the right moment, just when you need and are ready for it, it can actually really help. I just finished Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, Or Self-Involved Parents, and wow… I feel like all of us from a certain generation raised in a culture of people from another particular generation (or just about any that came before ours, I suppose) should read this book. It seems like a pretty universal experience. I’ve also been reading everything Brianna Wiest has ever written. I also just finished The Book of Longings (a novel, not self-help) and wow, I did not expect that.

4. Our body’s capacity to heal, to keep going. It’s pretty amazing.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. This is the only place I can truly rest and recover. They take such good care of me here.

Bonus joy: texting with Chloe’ and Chris, sharing reels and memes with Kari and Shellie and Carrie, being able to take time off when I need it, bird song in the mornings, ice packs, flannel sheets, all five pillows, streaming content I can access on my phone, all the naps, blackout curtains and white noise machines, mashed potatoes, baby carrots, a hot mug of green tea, my care team at Harmony Surgery Center and my surgeon, health insurance, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep. 

1. Morning walks. It was so nice to get back to these once I was back from Oregon, but it’s a bit bittersweet because I have surgery on Tuesday and it will be a few weeks before I can get back to them again.

2. Being in Oregon with my family, then returning home to Colorado to my tiny family. It was good to be there and we got some things accomplished (got another MRI for Mom and scheduled a follow-up appointment with her neurologist, as well as getting another caretaker hired so my brother can be back home sleeping in his own bed and able to work more often, along with a haircut for Mom, getting her glasses adjusted and taking her to a dentist appointment, a birthday dinner for my brother, birthday present for Warren, and some futzing and organizing around Mom’s house). It was a lot, and it was good, and I’m SO glad to be back home.

3. Practice. It keeps my heart open, keeps me from falling apart, keeps me from giving up.

4. Rest. Since I got back to Colorado, I’ve basically been hibernating. Partly because I was exhausted and had a lot of big emotions to process, and partly because I knew I had surgery coming up and needed to be ready for that.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. There’s nothing like being gone for a few weeks to remind me how much I love it here — not that I’d forgotten. The first morning I was back, Eric got up and he and Ringo left the bedroom to go to the kitchen for breakfast, and even though food is Ringo’s favorite thing, he turned around and wanted Eric to let him back in because he wanted to check and be sure I really was home. And remember when I posted a link to a tiny brass deer a few weeks ago, saying I was adding it to my list of things I didn’t need but still wanted? When I came into my practice room that first morning, one was sitting on my meditation shrine, a gift from Eric.

Bonus joy: good books, listening to podcasts, getting upgraded to a brand new rental car, having snow but not so much that it made travel difficult, pizza, learning how to make Eric’s homemade chicken noodle soup, being able to help, being able to maintain boundaries, getting good sleep, donuts from Depoe Baykery, visiting with family and friends, a few really nice days before the rain started, paying bills, doing laundry, cooking, a warm shower, sleeping with the window open, slowing down, cheese, peanut butter, clean sheets, ice cream, seeing Chloe’, dinner with Jon & Chelsey, canceled plans, hugs, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.