1. Morning walks. This week, I saw a heron standing in the river fishing for breakfast. They usually startle pretty easily and when Ringo sees one he barks and scares them away, but this time we were at a bend in the river where the trail is up a slope and the grass is tall enough to block Ringo’s view and for some reason the heron was okay with me watching it, so I took a million pictures. We also saw a bunch of deer — this year’s babies have lost their spots. Everything is turning to gold and it’s just so gorgeous.

2. Practice. I canceled my yoga class this week because I was having too many big feelings, so I missed out on that community practice. I did get to write with my Friday morning sangha and it was its usual magic. I meditated extra this week because I really needed it.

3. Mom. She’s still there, still getting good care and company, still forgetting most things except for us. My brother was visiting the other day and said she couldn’t remember Lia’s name, was asking where the front door was, wanting to be rolled out, and was holding a small framed picture of Dad that sits on her table and when he asked her who the picture was, she said, “Papa.” It would have been their 61st wedding anniversary yesterday. It feels like an awful thing to want, but I sometimes wish Dad would come get her, if that’s how it will happen, if they’ll get to be together again somewhere. It’s just so hard to watch her body and mind fail her and for her to not be able to understand what’s happening, to be so confused about where she is and why she can’t go back to her life the way it used to be.

4. Being able to start over, begin again. It’s one way I’m able to not be so hard on myself — none of it matters, the ways I mess up, the ways I fail, the ways I disappoint and abandon myself, because as long as I’m still breathing, I can always try again.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. With Eric being so busy this semester, gone more often or preoccupied, I’m especially grateful for the weekend moments when he’s here. When my dad was dying, he asked me once, “Do you like spending so much time with Eric?” and I said “Yeah, he’s my favorite person” and Dad nodded, “I thought so.” Give me Eric, a dog or two, a good book, some down blankets and pillows, and a good place to cuddle, and I am so happy.

Bonus joy: green grapes, strawberries, Gotham Greens Caesar Salad kit, stickers, Penzey’s Spices, Sunday morning Pilates, good TV, movies, listening to podcasts and music, getting to see Chloe’, rabbitbrush, new books, a warm shower, clean sheets, a couch that is comfortable enough to sleep on, groceries, finishing the laundry, gummies, online scheduling, being able to access my medical test results online rather than waiting for my doctor’s office to call, blog comments, sharing reels with Shellie and Carrie and Kari (one of the only reasons I’m still on social media), good news, turning the calendar to a new month, pay day, other people’s pets and kids and gardens, soup, toast, texting with my brother, naps, libraries and librarians, poets and poetry, comedy, documentaries, true crime, time lapse videos of other people making art or flowers blooming, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep. 

1. Morning walks. I love spending the time with Ringo, getting the exercise, seeing the sun rise, hearing the birds sing. 

2. Practice. At Red Sage this week, there was a puppy, lots of laughter, moments of both calm and chaos — I loved it. My Friday morning writing sangha was magical, as usual. I’m currently reading Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn and it’s making me appreciate my meditation practice in a whole new way.

3. Cooking. I find it so empowering and lucky to be able to cook for myself the things I like to eat, to be able to modify recipes to my particular needs and tastes, and 90% of the time whatever gets cooked at home is so much better than anything you might buy. I also love feeding other people. Eric is always so appreciative of what I cook. Yesterday, I made mini zucchini breads and gingerbread muffins and shared them with our book club and another friend whose birthday had just passed. 

4. Streaming and on demand content. TV, films, music, podcasts, videos, articles, books, readings, classes, lectures, etc. It can get overwhelming sometimes and I don’t always make the healthiest choices, but I love being able to access pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want — without having to leave my house.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. Home.

Bonus joy: being able to schedule things online (including rescheduling and even cancelling), Sunday morning Pilates, clean sheets, a warm shower, sitting in the backyard with Ringo, napping in the living room with Ringo, hanging out with Ringo doing just about anything, that his belly is doing better, that my brother and I are able to support each other and make good decisions regarding our parents and the care they’ve needed over the past few years to assist in their aging and dying and taking care of what is left behind after those tasks, toasted walnuts in quick breads and cookies, gummies, stickers, books, libraries and librarians, poetry and poets, comedy, true crime, Rom-Coms, crime dramas, documentaries, strawberries, fall turning everything into gold but the grass is still green, cute animal videos, the way the top of Ringo’s head smells after he’s been laying out in the sun, the chance to start over, writing in the morning in front of my HappyLight with a mug of hot green tea with matcha, dreams, pjs as daywear, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.