1. Morning walks. We went around the ponds and by the river on Friday because I expected there to be some peak fall color, to find that it’s only just starting — which is okay with me because that means there is still more to come. I know you’ve heard me say it a zillion times: fall in Colorado is my favorite season.

2. Long term relationships. In particular, shared experiences and inside jokes. For example, today we went to lunch at Mt. Everest Café and as we were getting up to leave, a rowdy group arrived, which reminded me of something that had happened probably 15 years ago, so I told Eric, even though he’d been there. We were at Woody’s Woodfired Pizza, which is no longer there, was replaced by an apartment complex. At Woody’s, you could order off the menu exactly what you wanted, or you could get the all-you-can-eat pizza and salad bar buffet. With the buffet, you could go up to where the pizza was being made and request just about any sort of pizza combination you could dream of and they’d make it. One time we were there, about half way through our meal, and I was up getting another few slices when a whole soccer team of boys about ten years old arrived for lunch after a game. A few were up checking out the pizzas already on the buffet, and I heard one say to the other, “Dude, let’s have an eating contest!” I went back to out table and told Eric what they’d said and that he’d better go get whatever else he wanted to eat because it was about to get wild. That’s one of the things I love about being together for so long — not only do we know how to make each other laugh, we have inside jokes, and there are funny stories we retell each other to make each other laugh again about something we already laughed about and told each other multiple times.

3. Ringo. I am so glad he’s finally feeling better. Eric just called out from the living room, “is he in there with you?” and he is, so close behind my chair, I’m afraid to move. He’s started this thing this summer where when it’s time for bed and I take him to the backyard to have him go potty one last time before we “get in” and instead of doing what he needs to do and coming right back in, he flops down in the grass and starts sniffing the air. I could get annoyed because I’m ready to go to bed and want to get this part over with, but instead, I remember that in just two months he’ll be 12 years old, and I have no idea how long we have left together, and someday I’m going to wish, be willing to give anything to just sit in the backyard with him as the sun is going down.

4. Practice. I felt I had nothing left to offer this week for yoga, but I went because I always feel better once I’m there, and this week was no different — I adore the crew at Red Sage. They light me up. As usual, my Friday morning writing sangha was magical, full of laughter and tears, gorgeous phrases and strange facts. And my meditation practice continues to keep me sane.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I made this, and it’s exactly what I always wanted.

Bonus joy: cooking with Eric, good TV, listening to podcasts, aqua aerobics, the hydromassage chair, sitting in the sauna, finally getting in to see a PT about my hips and back (turns out my core really never recovered after two abdominal surgeries in one year), an “emergency” massage at the gym since my person was booked up all of September, fry sauce, comedy and comedians, libraries and librarians, that sweet pittie named Oakley who was saved from a house fire after running past the open front door through the smoke and scream of the fire detector into the kitchen to show the police officer where his leash was so he could put it on before they left the house, listening to Wendy talk about butterflies, seeing Michelle’s dog and kitty on Zoom, texting with Chloe’ and Chris, sharing reels and memes with Shellie and Kari and Carrie, other people’s kids and pets and gardens, gold in the trees, the rabbitbrush so yellow it looks like it’s glowing in the dark, the moon, stickers, online ordering and scheduling, streaming content, those willing to speak sass to power, those who speak up even as they put themselves at risk, those who call a lie what it is, poets and poetry, clean sheets, muffins, gummies, naps, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.  

1. Morning walks. They were a bit shorter and darker this week, but still my favorite time of day. I was delighted when I turned off my headlamp at one point and looked down and saw Ringo and I’s shadows cast by the light of the moon.

2. Ringo. For the first time in over a year, Ringo had a wonky belly this week. His troubles first started for him when he was only six months old and took until he was ten years old to fully sort out, an ongoing combination of allergies and sensitivities and dietary indiscretions. With the help of Dr. Kelly Gaffney and Dr. Bronwen Foster, we have finally gotten him to a place where he doesn’t have to deal with that every few months. We were surprised and sad that it happened again, but probably shouldn’t have expected it never would, and with the help and care of his “support team,” he’s feeling better. When something like that happens, it’s hilarious how happy it makes Eric and I when his appetite comes back and his poop is “normal” again and he feels better.

3. Vaccines. They save lives; that’s a fact. I got both my flu and COVID shots yesterday, in the same arm, at the same time. My only “side effects” today are a sore arm, but that happens with the flu shot every year. According to the paperwork, without our insurance coverage, it would have cost us $340! So, I’m grateful for health insurance too. I had to point to something from the list of specific high-risk conditions that make you eligible for the COVID shot, but it was clear that it was only a formality, something they were required to do, but also something they weren’t concerned about and not anything they confirmed or recorded anywhere, in fact I’m not sure if the person checking me in even looked at what I’d pointed at — they clearly want people to be able to get vaccinated if they choose. My friend and her little guy had COVID already last week, and apparently it is coming in early and hitting hard in our area, so I decided sooner rather than later was best. And I got rainbow bandaids! 

4. Sane minds and open hearts. I bet you’d agree with me, kind and gentle reader, that this week in the world has been rough, (and yes, also so many of the weeks and weeks and weeks and months and years and lifetimes that came before it). Being human is never easy, has never been, and for those of us trying to be good humans, seeking to ease suffering in ourselves and the world, this week took some extra effort. I hope that you have some sort of practice in your life that helps you hold on, community of whatever sort that supports you, and I’m grateful that you haven’t given up.

I was especially grateful this week for my yoga friends at Red Sage and my therapist and the women in my Friday morning writing sangha. One of the poems we used as a writing prompt on Friday morning was The Forgotten Corners by Jeff Foster, and it was such a good reminder for me, that even though the suffering in the world overwhelms me and I feel very small and helpless, it is worth staying and there is always something holy, even if it is only doing small things with love, in the life I already have.

Feed the cat.
Fold the towels.
Clean the lint from the dryer.
Say thank you for someone’s kindness.
And mean it.
This is the temple – Not on some distant mountaintop, but here,
in a messy kitchen, in a real apology, in a long exhale
when you’re stuck in morning traffic.
Enlightenment isn’t an escape.
It’s seeing, really seeing, what’s right in front of you.
It’s staying.
Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Even when it’s brutally mundane.
There’s holiness in every breath.
In doing the small things with love.
In the life you already have.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. The main and best reasons I’m not giving up.

Bonus joy: sending another card to my mom (telling her about the weather and my boring days and how busy Eric is at work feels like the “before time” when we would email or text each other), crying when I feel sad, walking by Your Best Day Ever on Monday mornings to say “hi,” how it comforts Ringo when he’s at the vet to sit right next to me, how the tech who took him back to draw blood for some tests said when she came back that “I have never had a dog run so fast to get back to their person,” how something about being in the exam room with the low windows kept Ringo calmer while he was there and the little girl who came up to the window to say “hi” to him and how hard his tail wagged when she did, texting with Chloe’ and Chris, sharing memes and reels with Carrie and Kari and Shellie, my “Liked Songs” playlist on Spotify, good TV, tarot, making art, the spaghetti Eric made last night, plain bean and cheese burritos, Sunday morning Pilates, sitting in the backyard with Ringo, bees, naps, poets and poetry, comedy, true crime, listening to podcasts, libraries and librarians, other people’s dogs and kids and gardens, pie (it’s getting time for apple!), the last few Palisade peaches, roasted veggies, onion buns, a big glass of cold clean water, a warm shower, a big salad, book club, making each other laugh, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.