1. We did a thing. After a brief moment spent considering putting solar panels on our house, and with all the incentives and rebates available right now, it was too good to pass up: an all electric, 2019 Nissan Leaf. I am grateful that we can buy a whole new car without much hassle, that we have excellent credit and the necessary funds and privilege up the wazoo. I’m glad that so many things came together to make this an easy choice that just so happens to be good for the environment too.

2. Allowing myself the support I need. I had weaned myself off CBD, which I was taking for work stress, since I wasn’t working anymore. Turns out work was distracting me from a bunch of ongoing anxiety triggers and until I am more healed from my burnout and more settled into this new phase of my life, I actually need even more support than ever dealing with hsp, anxiety, and c-ptsd (which as a tag team trigger some pretty serious depression). Trying these new gummies cause even though Charlotte’s Web costs more, their products are such high quality they are my go-to when I try anything new.

3. Practice. I know for a lot of people the work, the journey, the path is primarily external – about getting somewhere, making a change that can be seen, going a way that can be tracked, offering something tangible. If you look at me and try to see some evidence of a shift, right now it would be hard to find because it’s mostly internal, happening in a landscape only I can see. I can’t offer you any proof of anything. You are just going to have to trust me. Thank goodness for practice, for the support I get from writing and meditation and yoga and dog(s).

4. Kitchen counter love notes. I can always count on Eric to be there for me. He’s my soft place to land, the one who can make me laugh no matter what is happening, the dude who gets up early to feed and walk the dogs so I can get another hour of sleep.

5. My tiny family. Along with Eric, Sam and Ringo are such a comfort and good company, provide so much joy and the occasional comedic relief.

Bonus joy: sometimes skipping the walk and yoga and the gym so I can stay home in the morning and putter around, good TV (they just added a bunch of new episodes of Call the Midwife on Netflix and the second season of I’m Sorry was just as funny as the first), good books (still working my way through all of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies and finishing up Tea and Cake with Demons: A Buddhist Guide to Feeling Worthy by Adreanna Limbach), having all the laundry done and put away, bran muffins with dried raspberries, fresh raspberries (I had forgotten how yummy they are!), sunny but cooler days, wearing a sweatshirt and socks, feeling stronger, reading, taking naps, cooking, libraries and librarians.

1. Fall. The actual first day of fall is a little over a week away and we still have days in the forecast calling for the upper 80s, but yesterday I wore long sleeves, long pants, and socks all day, and this morning when we woke up it was 51 degrees outside, The chrysanthemums and clematis are blooming and our tomatoes are finally producing, so I’m calling it early — it’s fall!

2. Cooking. I am really enjoying doing more cooking, trying new recipes, eating good food.

3. Flowers in the bathroom. Eric brought me home flowers this week. I haven’t had flowers all summer, except for my peonies and a bouquet from Chloe’. They changed the farmer’s market hours to later which kept me from getting there all summer, and after two gnat infestations the end of last summer and the beginning of this one, I was wary because flowers just feed the gnats, ensure they keep producing future generations. I missed the flowers.

4. Ringo. Since I’ve been home more, he’s been so sweet to me. Since he’s getting older, he’s getting easier to live with and easier to love. Had to sneak this next picture through a dirty window so I wouldn’t wake him up. This kind of peace was a long time coming and hard won. Used to be this boy had to be constantly entertained and monitored, especially in the backyard. He got into stuff, ate things he shouldn’t, dug holes, and barked. Now, with six years old just a few months away, he can take himself out and lounge in the sun, with only the occasional bark or roll in a dead worm, and I don’t have to worry he’s out there killing himself.

5. Sam. I was so stressed out about him last week — he slipped and fell in the kitchen twice and threw up his dinner one night. He’s almost ten years old, as old as any of our dogs have ever been, and the awareness that he’s going to die is always right there. He was the dog that took me the longest to bond with, he felt more like Eric’s dog for the first few years and I was just missing my Obi and Dexter, but now he’s my sweet shadow and when he goes I’m really going to miss him.

5. Eric. All the things he does to take care of our tiny family, laughing with him, how he appreciates the things I do, how committed he is to his colleagues and students, his kitchen counter love notes (see a whole collection of them on Instagram).

Bonus joy: Glazed lemon zucchini bread, zucchini gratin, grilled cheese, breakfast for dinner, leftovers, clean sheets on the bed, all the laundry done and put away, excellent credit, money in savings, a whole day with no plans, good movies (the new Mindy Kaling one on Amazon Prime, Late Night, was really good), good TV (I’ve been watching a lot of tiny house shows lately), good books (I’m finally reading the rest of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies), hanging out with Mikalina and Chloe’ (having friends who make you laugh, but also who you can cry with and say “I love you” and fully trust with your truth is a big deal), morning walks, teaching yoga, writing, naps.