1. Signs of spring, especially the blooms. I am really missing having flowers in my bathroom, (but not enough to risk going in to the store to buy some). Soon I’ll be able to bring some in from my own garden. I’m especially looking forward to the lilacs and peonies and the tall spikes of white irises with yellow tongues that my friend Ann gifted me the year before she died.

2. Things I miss. The gratitude isn’t about not having them or the sense of sad longing I feel when I think about them, but rather the clarity that comes with being so certain how much you love something, to know without a doubt what matters. On the top of my list is my yoga students, group yoga classes, the pool and sauna at my gym, hugging my friends, seeing my family “in person”, my friend’s dogs, massages from Dana, haircuts, going out to eat, seeing a movie in the theater with popcorn and soda pop, grocery shopping, (in particular being able to go in without fear, find and buy anything you want, which leads to eating what I want not just what I have).

3. Practice. I’ve always been someone who does much better with a routine, something to ground me and give my days structure. It’s probably related to being a highly sensitive introvert. I like at least some things to be predictable, the same, dependable, to give me a sense of structure and stability amidst the confusion, chaos, and change that is life. This has never been truer than now, and I’m so grateful that every day there are at least a few things that will repeat, stay the same.

4. I’m still here, still healthy and safe. It’s never a guarantee and I’m grateful.

5. Morning walks. Most days when I go now, it’s all four of us, and I am not mad about that.

6. My tiny family. As hard as this moment is, it could be so much harder without these three. If I have to stay home all the time, if I’m scared or sad, there’s no one I’d rather be with.

Bonus joy: the internet, video chatting with Mikalina and Chloe’, good TV, good books, good podcasts, comedians, naps, a warm shower, doing yoga and HIIT workouts with Eric, sitting in the backyard in the sun, cuddling with the dogs, hugs from Eric, the way he asks me “what can I do for you?”, texting with my brother and mom, breakfast for dinner, the new skillet Eric bought, marionberry jam, laughing.

1. Signs of Spring. The birds are returning and things are starting to bloom and turn green. It’s a nice reminder that the earth goes on without us and that things are always changing, coming back around, starting again. Winter happens, but so does Spring, and even when things are bad there is also joy.

2. Good food is still being made and eaten. Feeding ourselves as well as we can and enjoying what we are eating is suddenly the biggest of luxuries, the most essential self-care.

3. Texting and video conferencing. It is always hard to be separated from people you love, but that’s especially true right now. I’m so grateful that my mom has a smartphone now and we can text whenever we want, that I can check in with her more regularly, that it doesn’t have to be something important or interesting enough to warrant an email or phone call.

4. “Yard time.” This is what Eric and I have been calling it when it’s nice enough to sit outside, soak up the sunshine and fresh air, which we try to do for some hours of the day when we can. It snowed yesterday, so at one point we just stood at the sliding glass door, looking outside, as it was too cold to go out. The forecast for the next few days is sunny and climbing to the 70s, so there will be yard time again soon.

5. Normal things in an abnormal time. “Before” when we were away from each other, we’d text selfies to each other, just to check in and say “hi.” We are still doing it, even though we are both home. The other day, Eric was in the backyard and I was inside on the couch, and we sent each other selfies, to remind ourselves we are still here.

5. Time alone. As much as I love my dogs and my person, I still need time alone. Ever since I retired from my job at CSU in May, I spend part of almost every afternoon in my bedroom in the dark. My nervous system was/is fried and needs the time to reset, restore, rest. This ritual has become even more important recently.

6. Morning walks. Getting outside, moving around in the world with my favorites.

7. My tiny family. I am so grateful we are together, safe and healthy. I’m also so glad that as much as we love each other, we also like each other’s company. It’s an added bonus that when you have to be around someone ALL THE TIME, you mostly enjoy it.

Bonus joy: curbside grocery pick-up, a big salad, apples, a glass of clean cold water, good TV (Unorthodox on Netflix was so good, and all of the seasons of House Hunters on Hulu are saving me when I can’t handle anything more serious), good podcasts, good music, good books, meditating and writing in the morning, cuddling with the dogs, naps, having lots of pajamas so I can put a clean pair on every once in awhile, being able to take yoga classes with Jamie and Aramati on Zoom, doing HIIT workouts with Eric, Eric being able to work from home, clean sheets, reading in bed at night while Eric and the dogs sleep.