1. Morning walks. The moon was out this week and we went early. It was so quiet and the light was gorgeous. It was also very cold and one day was so windy we stayed close to home, making loops around our neighborhood so if it got worse we could get home fast.

2. Canceled plans. I am still not fully functional, after my hospital stay and then COVID and then a colonoscopy, which means my schedule has to look a lot different than usual. Old me would push through, keep all the appointments and commitments I’d made at the expense of my health and wellbeing. I don’t do that anymore. If we had plans but I really feel like I need a nap, the nap is going to win.

3. Clean sheets. I’m going to take a shower after a few more loads of laundry and then take a nap, so I made sure to put clean sheets on the bed this morning. It’s one of the ways I take care of myself where the impact far outweighs the effort.

4. Ringo. I let him pick another toy from the box I gave him for Christmas and he was very happy. I’m happy because we’ve gotten a lot of play out of it without too much damage. Ringo can be really hard on toys so when we get something he hasn’t had before there’s no way to know if it will have staying power, but this one took a whole three days to lose its squeak and he hasn’t quite figured out how to shred it yet.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. I can tell from the pictures I have to share this week that I was tired, didn’t do as much, because it’s all pictures of our walk and of Ringo sleeping — two of my favorite things, no matter how I’m feeling. And Eric is my favorite always — the way he takes care of me, the way he makes me laugh, the way he loves me, the way he humors my need for many many hugs and sitting on the couch together doing nothing.

Bonus joy: Beaver’s Market, grocery fuel points, having easy access to so many things because of the internet, stickers, birds in the feeder, a warm shower, the hydromassage chair, the pool, sitting in the sauna with Eric, training with Shelby and the gang, listening to podcasts and audiobooks, watching TV, baking, eating what I bake, cooking with Eric, peanut butter, a big glass of clean cold water, green tea, matcha lemonade, naan, a new notebook, bilateral beats, having met my insurance deductible so basically everything I have to do until the end of June is covered, wool socks, clean pjs, lemon, lime, oranges, raspberries, roasted veggies, napping, down blankets and pillows, prescription glasses, vaccines and masks and prescription medication, heat when it’s cold and a/c when it’s hot, other people’s dogs and kids, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. The opportunity to rest, to heal. This applies to so many things, but in particular and most recently having COVID, probably for the second time. I feel like I didn’t get as sick as the last time but it is taking so much longer to recover my energy — and that’s totally okay. I have time. I don’t need to rush.

2. The ability to change my mind, see things more clearly. For example, this pile is in our front yard, consisting mostly of last season’s sunflowers. Here in Colorado, we don’t have to plant them, they just come, and the meadowlarks and bees love them and I love watching them feed on the flowers. All fall and winter, I’ve seen this pile and thought, “that looks so messy, we really should at least move it to the back by the compost pile.” And yet, the other day I looked out the window and there were at least ten finches and chickadees hopping around the pile, still finding things to eat in the middle of winter. Another example is this morning when I was meditating, had the door to my practice room open and could hear Eric unloading the dishwasher. At first, I could see how it might be a distraction, the banging of plates and slamming of cabinet doors, but then I thought about how the noise Eric was making was a music of sorts, a sound I would desperately miss in the silence of him not being here. He probably wouldn’t say the same about my snoring at night, which is currently worse because I’m still a bit stuffy from the COVID.

3. Bed. Naps, clean sheets, blackout curtains, down blankets and pillows, a weighted blanket, my moon nightlight, my Kindle, our sunrise alarm clock and white noise machine. It’s not just one of my favorite places in our house, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.

4. Practicing in community. Zoom art dates, wild-ish writing, yoga, and meditation.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. Sitting on the couch with Eric doing nothing, thanking him for being my person, watching movies together, making each other laugh, cooking together, sleeping in the same bed, having 30 years of memories together, hugs in the kitchen, our couch comfortable enough to sleep on at night if someone needs to, all our plants, the promise of our outside garden, good neighbors, kitchen counter love notes (which he sometimes hides by the tea or on my meditation shrine), how close the river is, birds in the feeder, all the things we need to make spaghetti sauce, our spices, my bookshelves full of books, the wood floors, the rugs, the oval mirrors in our bathroom, the way Ringo is so much more cuddly in the winter, the way Eric makes him a pile of blankets and pillows to nap on, even how Ringo digs up the couch at night or barks at the TV, the way he comes to find me when he and Eric come back from a walk, an echo of how Sam used to do the same thing.

Bonus joy: a warm shower, clean pjs, a big glass of cold water, matcha lemonade, listening to podcasts, clean laundry, pay day, dark chocolate covered almonds, walnuts, Simple Truth Strawberry Paletas Fruit Bars, health insurance that covers prescriptions, NSAIDS, anti-anxiety meds, THC gummies, Burt’s Bees lip balm, the internet, having a backup option when one of my computers doesn’t want to behave, a washer and dryer, windows, sunshine, how bright and quiet it is when there’s snow on the ground, snow plows, the sunrise, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.