Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

springbreaksnow 1. Snow. Actually, I’m totally over winter, so ready for spring. But, I knew there would be more snow coming, at least a few more times before we are done with it, and seven inches on a Friday during Spring Break is better than feet of snow on a day when we are trying to get somewhere.

2. Signs of spring, like the tulips and daffodils I got the other day at Trader Joe’s. There might be snow outside, but I’ve got some sunshine inside.

tulips

3. In related news, the camera on my new phone takes amazing pictures. I’m still being so careful with it, not using it much because the case I ordered isn’t here yet, but I’ve taken a few pictures with it and the clarity and quality is so much better than I expected.

4. My tiny family. Eric, Sam, and Ringo.

ringoanddad samsnowlory 5. Being financially stable. We probably need a new furnace soon, and Eric dropped his phone so needs a new one of those too. We were able to buy a new car and redo our bathroom this year, as well as spend two months this summer in Oregon. I can go to the doctor when I need to and buy better quality food. We have enough money and good credit and not a whole lot of debt. I am very aware that this is NOT everyone’s reality, and I’m so grateful.

Bonus joy: clean water, a warm shower, clean laundry, clean sheets, snow tires on our cars, Wild Writing class, being able to say no to things, wool socks, down blankets and pillows, a good meal with good friends, being able to help, knowing I’m strong enough, pictures of the dogs when they were still babies, my favorite running shoes with Gortex, new bras.

The camera on my new phone takes amazing pictures

1. Truth: I almost forgot to write this post this week. It’s Spring Break at CSU, so I’m taking the week off from that work as much as I can, which always makes me confused about what day of the week it is. On Monday, Eric and I went to dinner at Mount Everest Cafe, one of our favorite places, and I said to him “it’s really quiet in here for a weekend” and he said, “that’s because it’s Monday.” I laughed and told him, “don’t let me forget to go teach my yoga class in the morning!” Daylight Savings time, being an hour off, meant I didn’t really know what time it was for a few days either.

2. Truth: Adulting is hard. Most days I’m pretty good at it, but yesterday I failed, miserably. I’m sad because a dear friend’s dear dog has cancer and Eric is going out of town for a conference. I’ve been depressed lately, so I was already low. Then we had a furnace guy come to do our free yearly maintenance that we haven’t had done in the fifteen years we’ve had this furnace and he, as expected, found all sorts of things wrong, things that to fix would cost almost as much as a whole new furnace, also as expected. But one of the things he found had nothing to do with the furnace — our new tub has apparently been leaking. And I’d spent the entire morning trying to back up my old phone so I could activate my new phone and in the process of that my old phone died for real and for good. I didn’t handle it very well, kind and gentle reader.

3. Truth: Still, life is good. On our walk the other day, I told Eric how good it was to feel strong again, to be able to walk without hurting the whole time. Later in the day, after my meltdown, Eric told me he’d read that my new phone’s camera had a feature where you could make little slow motion videos. I made one of him running across the dining room and it made us laugh so hard, which felt like such a relief after all the fussing that had come earlier. And I bought myself tulips and daffodils at Trader Joe’s on the way home from my physical therapy appointment yesterday, so even though it’s snowing outside this morning, I have a bit of spring inside.

One wish: That no matter how confused or turned around we get, no matter how frustrated or upset, we find our way back to sanity. May we know the relief of laughter and always keep that little bit of spring inside.