Category Archives: Self-Care

Something Good

message from a "secret admirer" on my car this morning :)

message from a “secret admirer” on my car this morning 🙂

1. The Makeover on SF Girl By Bay, in which Victoria Smith shares before and after pictures of her new cottage. I love her sense of design, scan through the pictures in her blog posts (*drool*) before going back to actually read them. Design Sponge wrote a profile about her in which she talks about being a business woman, (link originally shared by Susannah Conway on her Something for the Weekend list).

2. The Joy of Missing Out, on the Aesthetics of Joy, originally shared by Pugley Pixel on her Links Loved list.

3. This quote from Louis Proto, “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

4. Hello 40: 40 Lessons from 40 Years, from Susannah Conway. Also from Susannah, Self-Care in The Real World.

5. What Happened to Downtime? The Extinction of Deep Thinking & Sacred Space on 99U.

6. It’s Time to Come Out of the Closet…(& quit hiding!) from Kute Blackson, in which he says

There is a vulnerability in showing who you really are to the world. It is a risk to step out and say, “This is who I am!” But to hide the real you in the closet of your fears is to be a part of the living dead. There’s no refunds in life. Hiding and playing small serves no one. And the “love” you get by being someone other than who you really are is never truly fulfilling…and you know it.

7. This quote from Pema Chödrön, about being free from fixed mind,

Rather than living a life of resistance and trying to disprove our basic situation of impermanence and change, we could contact the fundamental ambiguity and welcome it. We don’t like to think of ourselves as fixed and unchanging, but emotionally we’re very invested in it. We simply don’t want the frightening, uneasy discomfort of feeling groundless. But we don’t have to close down when we feel groundlessness in any form. Instead, we can turn toward it and say, “This is what freedom from fixed mind feels like. This is what freedom from closed-heartedness feels like. This is what unbiased, unfettered goodness feels like. Maybe I’ll get curious and see if I can go beyond my resistance and experience the goodness.”

8. This quote from Jack Kornfield, “Peace is born out of equanimity and balance. Balance is flexibility, an ability to adjust graciously to change. Equanimity arises when we accept the way things are.”

9. Find Your Flow from Kristin Noelle on Trust Tending.

10. Note from the Universe, “No matter how great the desire is to please another, Jill, let it be no greater than the desire to be yourself. Otherwise ain’t no one happy.”

11. Worthiness Wednesday #82: drop out, tune in from Kat at I Saw You Dancing. Also from Kat, Our mothers, our daughters.

12. Wings and Bones from Lisa Field-Elliot on Doorways Traveler. Beautiful and real, as always. Especially this line, “what there is time for in my life now is the depth and discomfort of introspection.” I think I might be living in this line.

13. Dear Photograph.

14. Her Idea: An Illustrated Allegory about Procrastination and the Creative Process on Brain Pickings.

15. From my Inner Pilot Light,

Please – take a breath – and let go of that drive to be perfect. I know you feel pressure to get it right, to deliver, to outperform, to be Superhuman. But let me fill you in on a little secret. Your imperfections are your gateway to intimacy. When you’re willing to be vulnerable, to expose your big ugly tail, to share your imperfections with others, they see in you their own imperfections, and they feel connected, and you give them a gift – letting them off the hook, giving them permission to be imperfect, just like you. Then – swoon – two imperfect beings can bond, and compassion grows, and intimacy thrives. You don’t have to always get it right. And when you don’t, you don’t have to keep it a secret.

And this,

The next time you’re tempted to judge someone, take a deep breath and add to the end of your judgment “And I am too.” Remember that what most irritates, angers, insults, or annoys us about others is often a reflection of something unseemly we see in ourselves, some shadow side of ourselves we’re running away from. Instead of running away, be brave enough to face your own shadows. Stare into the darkness and own it. Then stop projecting onto other people, and grant them the gift of grace instead. Remember that you just don’t know what’s going on for that person you’re tempted to judge. You don’t know what loss they suffered today, what trauma has been inflicted upon them, what disappointment they’re facing, what illness they’re up against, what heartbreak they’re in the midst of. Instead of judging yourself or others, try opening your heart, forgiving, letting go of expectation, and loving unconditionally. Such actions bless not just others, but YOU. Need help loving so big? I’m right here, darling.

16. This looks so yummy, Plum Crumble Cake Recipe on Decor8.

17. Pretty Girls Making Ugly Faces.

18. “All you have to do is to pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step.” -Paulo Coelho, The Zahir (from 37Days, Your Daily Rock).

19. Secrets spilled in life’s final minutes on CNN.

20. Old Town Fort Collins Flickr pictures from CSU. I love where I live.

21. Dr. Weil’s Life with Dogs, a sweet video in which he says “I can’t imagine a dogless life.” Amen. He even has a Pinterest board, “Pets & Pet Care.”

22. Morality, My Ass on Elephant Journal, originally shared by Patti Digh on her Thinking Thursday list.

23. 35 Gut Checks When Founding Your First Company by Jordan Cooper.

24. This quote from Chögyam Trungpa,

Any confusion you experience has within it the essence of wisdom automatically. So as soon as you detect confusion, it is the beginning of some kind of message. At least you are able to see your confusion, which is very hard. Ordinarily people do not see their confusion at all, so by recognizing your confusion, you are already at quite an advanced level. So you shouldn’t feel bad about that; you should feel good about it.

25. Menswear Dog. He’s so handsome.

26. How 1 Hour on Sundays Will Change Your Life, on MindBodyGreen.

27. “You yourself are your own obstacle – rise above yourself.” ~Hafiz And, seemingly related, this: “The only person that can destroy you, is you.” ~Andrea Owen

28. Amo La Vida by Soul Biographies. “Look what you have.”

29. The Sweetest Friendship, a boy and his dog.

30. Relax! You’ll Be More Productive from the New York Times.

31. The Big List of Green Smoothies, (link originally shared by Susannah Conway on her Something for the Weekend list).

32. “Drama in our lives is the greatest indicator that we’re not focused on meaningful goals. On the path to purpose you don’t have time for drama.” ~Brendon Burchard

#Reverb12: Day 12

reverb12

Joy

The full prompt: What activity brings you the most joy? (Author: Lee Currie)

This is a tie between writing and being with my dogs. Both things have at their heart connection and pure love. My writing practice in the past year has moved beyond judgement and conditions (mostly) to a place of satisfaction and contentment, and my experience of my dogs has always been that simple. I can write for hours, lose all sense of time, am reluctant to stop, feel like I always have so much more to say, wake up in the middle of the night with ideas, am writing in my head as I am walking or doing yoga or even meditating, wake up excited to start working–this is love, this is joy. And my boys, all three of them, even the one who is no longer with us–all I have to do is think about them or look at them, sleeping or playing or barking at the trash truck or whatever they happen to be doing, whatever they did good or bad, and my heart softens, sometimes melting completely, sometimes breaking with so much love, so much joy, and even sadness because it’s all so beautiful and temporary.

meandtheboyslory

Not Done

The full prompt: What was something you planned to do in 2012 but didn’t? What was it, and why did you not accomplish it?

I planned to heal my body, my relationship with it and with food. I thought that with awareness, this would come easily. I would notice what I was doing, gain knowledge and understanding, be able to stop numbing out, disconnecting, smashing myself to bits, forgive myself and be able to change. I was so wrong. The habitual patterns, this way of being is so old, so deep, so sticky. There are layers and layers of resistance, of grief and longing, and it’s about so much more than just my body–it’s everything. This is going to be much harder than I thought, but it’s why it is one of my primary intentions in the next year: sanity, wellness and balance.

Brave Belly

Your Most Intense Emotions

The full prompt: What made you dance in 2012? What made you weep?

My purpose becoming clear made me dance. As I take each step forward, as I do the work without attachment to the outcome, without knowing why or where exactly it will lead, the rightness of my longing, the ways in which I can make a difference in the world, have the potential to ease suffering, is becoming more and more clear, and I am becoming more and more certain, confident.

My blog doing well made me dance, the kind and gentle readers, the times people shared my posts or left heartfelt comments, the times when I knew what I was writing mattered, wasn’t just helping me but rippled out.

The possibility and opportunities that occurred made me dance. So many good things happened, and I can see that so many more are on their way.

Finding out that Dexter had cancer, that it was incurable, that he wouldn’t be with us for much longer made me weep. And it continues to do so.

Things that I won’t share here made me weep, things I won’t write about on this blog because they belong to other people, are their mistakes and confusion and grief, and it wouldn’t be right to tell you about it–and yet, these are things that caused me deep suffering, ongoing pain. It is so hard when someone you love dearly is making bad choices, generating so much trouble for themselves, is hurting people, doing damage, wreaking havoc and causing mayhem, and all you can do is watch and try to keep loving them.

Mistakes

The full prompt: It’s easy to focus on our mistakes—to reflect with 20/20 hindsight and berate ourselves for what went wrong. Bring your awareness to a mistake you’ve made over the past year. Unveil one positive lesson from that mistake. How can you actively use this lesson moving forward?

I was too busy, pushed too hard, wanted too much, did too much, overcommitted and overextended. In fact, I am doing it right now. This isn’t sustainable, and there are consequences. I disappointed people, some things were left half done or abandoned altogether, stuff literally piled up, was messy and unkempt, I denied myself the care necessary for health and wellness, I broke promises, I was distracted and because of that mistakes were made, I didn’t always do my best work and sometimes I failed completely.

I suppose what I learned is that I have limits, that I can’t do everything, that I will have to let go of some things, surrender to others, and that there is time, there is good reason to do so. In the coming months, my intention is to learn what balance looks like for me, what health and wellness mean, and to start living towards that.

Unexpected Passion

The full prompt: What new hobby or interest piqued your passion this year?  Or did you think about an old passion in a new way?

wholeheartedzentangle

Making art. I used to tell myself not to bother because I wasn’t any good, thought that to be creative you had to first have talent, to know exactly and for sure what you were doing, your goal and your method. This year I realized that creating something just feels good, and I don’t ever have to share what I make, it can be a process and practice that is just for me, for the pure joy of it. I can also see how the way to get good, to find my “thing” when it comes to art, is to make a lot, to keep showing up, being open to what arises, and in this way I will eventually stumble upon my artistic voice, my style, my thing.