Category Archives: Rumi

Three Truths and One Wish

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A Secret: I think today’s Three Truths and One Wish might just be a Something Good post in disguise, and it’s all about the love, Baby.

poster gift from Patti Digh to her mailing list

1. Truth: All the love you need, you already have. No need to look outside yourself, no reason to wait for someone to save you, no need to attach to any person, program, or possession–none of that, none of them, will give you anything you don’t already have. You are not a hole to be filled or wound to be healed, you are not empty or broken. You are enough, just as you are, and your fundamental nature is basic goodness, wisdom and love.

When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space. ~Pema Chödrön

Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself. ~Rumi

2. Truth: You are your own soul mate, the love of your life. There’s not some magic other half “out there” that will complete you, save you, make your life happy and safe, make you whole–(see truth #1). Yes, you might find a mate, a good and healthy match for you the enriches your life in so many ways, but it won’t fix everything, and it will bring struggle and suffering of its own. YOU are the only one who will always love you, be with you from birth to death, who knows just how to love you and give you exactly what you need.

You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!
~Rumi

3. Truth: No one will ever love you like you do. If you aren’t utterly head over heels in love with yourself, if you aren’t showing yourself that level of attention and care, make changing that your mission. Whatever you want, whatever you need or feel is missing, figure out how you can give that to yourself. If you are waiting for someone to give you the love you need and deserve, stop waiting and love yourself.

Learning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important. The reason it’s important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn’t just ourselves that we’re discovering. We’re discovering the universe. ~Pema Chödrön

Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love. ~Rumi

One Wish: If you aren’t already completely committed to loving yourself, that you discover that wonder, that strength, that wisdom, that joy, that contentment in your life, quickly and without obstacle. I wish this for myself as well, that I not only intellectually accept these three truths, but that I embody them, manifest self-love in my life, and that in turn, I am able to give love to the world.

What is love?

A few loving things you might consider doing for yourself, with yourself today that have the potential to generate more love in the world:

:: Read Daniel Collinsworth’s post on Kind Over Matter, “Random Acts of Unconditional Love,” in which he proposes “making it a day of random acts of unconditional love — small gestures of kindness for all the people you interact with throughout your day.”

:: Watch this video that Daniel shared at the end of his post. I watched it, and it made my whole day. So, even if you don’t read his post, trust me that it will be worth your time and watch this video, (but really, I think you should read his post too).

:: Join the “Generosity Day” Cause, “We’re rebooting Valentine’s Day as Generosity Day: one day of sharing love with everyone, of being generous to everyone, to see how it feels and to practice saying ‘Yes.’ Let’s make the day about love, action and human connection – because we can do better than smarmy greeting cards, overpriced roses, and stressed-out couples trying to create romantic meals on the fly.”

:: Read “The Last Thing We Want To Do Is Love” by Fiona Robyn at Writing Our Way Home:

image from Fiona's post

“In the midst of total uncertainty, we can love.” This is what Terrance Keenan has to say. He doesn’t say, we can feel that we are loved. He says, we can love.

Easier said than done. When there isn’t any ground under our feet, when we feel we’re being let down by people and situations and the whole world, the LAST thing we want to do is love.

And yet…What is the alternative? Closing down. Putting up walls. Looking after ourselves. Not seeing the pain of the other, not being softened by the pain of others, not dissolving into scary sweetness…

It happens to be Valentine’s Day today, which is mostly a contrived commercial holiday that is a pale, weak substitute for the full measure of love and generosity we are capable of, so on this day, instead of flowers or chocolate, live up to the full potential of your vulnerable, tender, brave, wide open heart. Gentleness is your superpower. You are a warrior of wisdom and kindness–act like it.

calligraphy by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

And You?

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I’ve had this card sitting on my writing desk for the past two years:

I bought it when I was up at Shambhala Mountain Center for Warrior Assembly.

At that time, Obi was in the final weeks of his chemo, and while I was up at “the land” as it’s called, I let myself think that maybe he’d be one of the dogs whose lymphoma would stay in remission for a year or two, even though his was t-cell, the worst kind.

But what Eric hadn’t told me, because there wasn’t anything I could do about it anyway, was that the lymph nodes in Obi’s chest were swelling again.  At his chemo appointment the next week (which was supposed to be his second to last treatment), Dr. Lori told us the cancer was no longer in remission.  We made the heartbreaking decision to stop chemo and three months later, he was gone.

And six months later, Kelly was gone.

And there the card sat, daily asking me its question,”And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”  I took a step, got out of a bad work situation, toxic and abusive, did it because it felt like to not do anything would be to deny the impact of the loss of these two beings, would belittle their importance.  For those of you who have lost someone, you know that feeling, that confusion–how is it that everyone just gets up and goes to work, is acting as if nothing has happened, as if everything didn’t just change? So I made that one change, and then got stuck again.

And every day since, every morning that I sit down to write, the question,”And you? When will you begin that long journey into yourself?”  For a long time the only answer I could give is that I was waiting for my invitation, waiting for the itinerary to arrive in the mail.

But, that isn’t how it works.  You have to say a prayer, pack a bag, and walk out the front door–start moving.  Along the way there will be signs to follow, places where you can stop and ask for directions, stuff you’ll want to see, you’ll want to get a closer look and that will keep you moving.  You’ll see the moon in the sky reflecting off the stars of ice on the ground, an owl in a tree, then the sunrise, the smell of breakfast cooking somewhere, a nice place to sit and rest, your reflection in the water, the call of a far off voice, a blue heron standing still at the edge of the river, the last of the season’s sunflowers swaying above a ground littered with the season’s first golden leaves–and if you have your camera and your notebook & pen, you’ll record the ideas, the feelings, the revelations and dreams, and make a map for the next person who’ll make the trip.

I finally realized that the only thing keeping me from what I wanted, keeping me from starting, was…me.  I was stuck because I wasn’t moving. I couldn’t wait for a perfectly formed idea or a great work project to find me.  I couldn’t wait for someone else’s permission. I had to start moving, walk due/true north, because there are things I’ll find along the way that will reveal what I’ve been waiting for.

Like a pilgrimage, the steps I take are part of the magic.  No one’s going to send me a picture of the holy place that will show me anything or help me to see, this will not work as a revelation.  I have to get on my knees and kiss the ground, crawl, walk for days and nights until I am tired and then sleep in that place and dream.  I have to do the fast, go on the walkabout, otherwise I will have no visions, nothing of substance will be revealed to me.

So my answer to the question is also Rumi:

Keep walking, though there’s no place to get to.
Don’t try to see through the distances.
That’s not for human beings.
Move within, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty & frightened.
Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading.
Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

— Rumi