Category Archives: Grief

Strength Training

4 Replies

Facing your fear, confronting your grief, softening to strong emotions and relaxing with discursive thoughts, staying with reality rather than getting hooked by a story or grasping at hope, letting go, surrendering instead of running away or rejecting or numbing out, is like lifting weights, like strength training–-the more you do it, the stronger you get, the more solid your confidence and courage become, the more open and whole your heart, the more complete and fulfilling your life.

And when the next wave of pain or suffering comes, it’s not so likely to knock you down. You will be less apt to freak out or fall over. You might even find that the strength of your core, the power of your presence is such that you stand as it washes over you, heart open and mind calm and surrounded by love even as your heart breaks.

The point is: the bad stuff won’t stop coming, won’t go away. There is no safe place, no ground to stand on that won’t continue to shift and change under your feet. What will happen is you will be able to stay with it, clarity and compassion and wisdom will arise, and you will find yourself rising up to meet it, strong and tender even if you are terrified.

You’ve got this. You know what to do. You are loved and you are not alone.

Something Good

1 Reply

basil

1. The Four-Part Breath of Grief on Curvy Yoga. Brutal and beautiful.

2. Jilly Ink. Handwriting at its most brilliant.

3. Why it’s okay to be fully properly and awesomely sad by Susan Piver on Glad Is. She’s amazing, and this is further proof.

When you’re sad, everything touches you. You cry so easily. You feel things intensely, and not just your own struggles, but everyone else’s. There is no barrier. Your heart is so open. Though it may feel quite disorienting, this rawness is actually a very important threshold: When we’re open, we can be touched. When we’re touched, we can respond genuinely. When we’re genuine, we can love and be loved and our real life can actually begin. That is how important sadness is.

4. Every Time I Talk About Depression – Being Brave by Chris Brogan.

5. What I Have to Offer: “What I have to offer is me, what you have to offer is you, and if you offer yourself with authenticity and generosity I will be moved.” ~Charlie Kaufman

6. Life Isn’t Safe from Raam Dev.

7. The World’s Simplest Meditation from Think Simple Now. “If you want to know God, then turn your face toward your friend and don’t look away.” ~Rumi

8. This quote from the Dalai Lama: “Any practice that can give you more courage when you are undergoing a very difficult time and that can provide you with some kind of solace and calmness of mind is a true practice of the dharma.”

9. 8 Simple Living Blogs You Will Enjoy Discovering on Becoming Minimalist. I’m sure I will, once I get time to take a closer look.

10. Rocky Mountain Reflections. I think I want this on in the background all the time. It makes me happy–maybe because it’s one of the only ways I enjoy the Park, from afar (they don’t allow dogs on the trails, so what’s the point?).

11. Aimee Mann’s new album Charmer comes out next week, but you can listen to it in its entirety NOW on NPR’s First Listen!