Gratitude

1. Morning walks. It’s turning toward spring and I could really tell this week because the birds were getting rowdy in the mornings, in particular the redwing blackbirds, (they are so small but so LOUD). We saw an owl one morning who was getting blasted by the wind just like we were. Then there was a fat robin sitting on a branch next to the river, a sure sign that spring is coming.

2. Practice. No Red Sage Yoga this week (everyone was sick) and a smaller group to write with on Friday morning. Luckily, writing and meditating in the morning only requires me to find my seat, so that was the same. My practices are regular and ongoing but simultaneously shifting and changing.

3. Eric. The pictures he sends me when he goes for a run or a hike, sitting in the sun with him in the backyard, lunch at Mount Everest Café, 30+ years of shared memories, watching Iron Chef and “trading some” (i.e. massage), hugs in the kitchen, all the love and heartbreak we’ve experienced together, making each other laugh.

4. My brother, Chris. He is really taking one for the team right now caring for Mom while we wait for a definite move in date for her new “apartment.”

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I love it here, with them, so much.

Bonus joy: Pilates, getting in the pool, sitting in the sauna, good books, finally cleaning up most of the tiny piles I’d made all around the house, taco salad, sweet & savory, hot cocoa to sweeten my coffee, KIND nut clusters, crunchy and chewy, Icelandic Skyr, watching TV (just finished Devil in the Family: The Fall of Ruby Franke on Hulu — I thought I already knew the full story, but WOW), listening to podcasts, my Shakti mat, down blankets and pillows, when it’s warm enough out to open all the windows, payday, being able to help from a distance, comedy, true crime, libraries and librarians, poetry and poets, art and artists, music and musicians, streaming content, vaccines, texting and sharing reels, stickers, pineapple, breakfast burritos, eggs from Shaun’s chickens, other people’s kids and dogs, twinkle lights, blackout curtains, wireless internet, my HappyLight, the sound of an owl in the still dark of morning, how good Ringo was for Dr. Foster, a deep sigh, a whole new month, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

1. Morning walks. It was another week of especially cold mornings and more snow on the ground. It most likely is the last of the negative temperatures but not necessarily the snow. One morning, Ringo and I walked a short section of trail we hadn’t walked before and it reminded me how much he loves exploring new places. I suspect part of his excitement was that a fox or something just as wild and stinky must have recently passed through.

Here are some pictures Eric took, on one of his icy walks with Ringo. We’d had freezing rain the night before and then that got covered with a layer of snow, so the trees were especially sparkly and when the sun hit them and they started to melt, it looked like it was snowing again.

2. Practice. Doing yoga at Red Sage, writing with my Friday morning sangha, and adding a few more tiny brass animals to my meditation shrine, two horses in memory of Eric’s mom and sister.

3. Being able to help my brother from 1200 miles away. Things are moving ahead for settling my mom in memory care. I thankfully was able to do a lot of the initial contacts and paperwork and such from here in Colorado. I’m a bit nervous that Mom may have advanced to the point they won’t accept her, and that we’ll have to start the whole process over, this time to find a skilled nursing placement or even hospice. In the meantime, Chris has been Mom’s primary and only caretaker — and as anyone who has cared for an adult sized loved one understands, when they are sick or injured or even dying, it’s A LOT of work simply to keep them safe and comfortable, clean and fed. May whatever is best for everyone involved in caring for my mom happen quickly and easily. And if you have any to spare, I’d take your good wishes for the same, kind and gentle reader.

They got snow in Oregon last week too (Chris’s grandkids)

4. Pilates. I finally found a place that had the teachers, classes, prices, and equipment I was looking for, and it’s less than 10 minutes away. I went to my first session last Sunday. It felt so good!

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. Everything else can feel heavy and hard, but THIS is always my soft place to land.

“If I lie on your feet, you haz to pet me.”

Bonus joy: KIND dipped clusters, tortilla chips, poetry and poets, libraries and librarians, ALT National Park Service, stickers (especially this one), true crime, comedy, listening to podcasts, watching TV, blue sky, hanging out with Chloe’ on Zoom, texting with Chris, looking at old texts from my mom and dad, the brief glimpses I get that things might be okay, my infrared heating pad, grocery shopping, being able to cook, school pictures of my dad when he was little (seriously, he was so cute), other people’s dogs and kids, streaming music, making myself mixtapes, people who shovel their sidewalks when it snows, naps, a warm shower, houseplants, popcorn, hugs in the kitchen, laughing with Eric, when Ringo sighs (sometimes it means he’s super comfortable and sometimes it means I’m annoying him), having an 11 year old dog who still acts like a punk teenager, the way Eric steps in to pick up my slack, when Chelsey texts to check up on me, sharing videos and memes with Kari and Shelly and Carrie, that banana bread Kerri gave us, walnuts, down blankets and pillows, soft merino wool shirts, reading in bed at night on my Kindle while Eric and Ringo sleep.