1. Kitchen counter love notes. The ones Eric tucked in the card he made me for our anniversary took up so much space I had to stand on a chair to get them all in the picture. He said when he started making them, he underestimated how long it was going to take. I remember when it was our 6th anniversary and I thought that was so amazing because I had never been in a relationship that long. That was 20 years ago.

2. Feeling just a little better. Coming here and telling you all that I was feeling confused started to shift things just a bit for me. I also finally found a therapist who is taking new patients and works from the perspective I was looking for and on the issues I have. I’m meeting with her on Tuesday to see if it’s a good fit. Wish me luck!

3. Yup, it snowed. It dropped 20 degrees overnight, bringing lightening, hail, and the loudest thunder I’ve ever heard before the snow came. I am sad the garden is officially done and some of the trees that were just starting to turn gold lost most of their leaves in the storm, but the sky the morning before was amazing and I made sure to savor the gold before it was all gone.

4. Comfort, in all the various ways I find it: good friends, laughter, good TV, texting with my brother, cooking, getting in the pool, sitting in the sauna, meditation, writing, teaching yoga, reading in bed at night while Eric and the dogs sleep, feeding myself what I want for no other reason than that’s what I want, a big glass of water, a warm shower, cuddling with my dogs, sitting on the couch under my infrared heating pad and favorite blanket my niece made me.

5. My tiny family. They are my favorite.

He’s a tough guy, but he hides under the chairs at the vet

Bonus joy: trying a new restaurant, going to a show where I know I’m going to laugh my face off, spending time with good people, having access to the care and services that keep things running smoothly, setting up my new printer and having it be easy, new shoes that feel good on my feet and my feet feel good in, morning walks with the dogs, the magic weirdness of having such an intimate relationship with a whole other species (seriously, sometimes I look at our dogs and say to Eric, “isn’t it weird that there are animals inside our house right now, just hanging out like it’s totally normal?).

1. Practice. Yoga, meditation, writing, and dog. It’s the way I make sense of things, the way I am able to stay with what is, the thing that keeps me from giving up.

2. Kitchen counter love notes. One this week was spooky, in honor of the season.

3. Writing with Mikalina and Chloe’. The last few times we got online, we hung out and told each other stories, but this time we actually wrote together…and told each other stories.

4. Morning walks. Poor Eric was on duty the two mornings it rained this week, but my walks were lovely, except for the part where they cut those two trees down to make space for a new house, the same spot we saw the twin baby deer napping that one time, the same ones I always take pictures of. Yes, they were both dead, but they were a gorgeous shape against the morning sky.

5. My tiny family. Ringo is feeling better and Sam is keeping me warm on these cooler mornings. Hopefully Eric won’t have to work so much this weekend and we can do something fun together.

Bonus joy: teaching yoga, opening a new bag of potato chips (so fresh and crunchy!), having all the laundry done, clean sheets on the bed, napping, good TV (the new series, Criminal, streaming on Netflix is really good, and all my favorite “regular TV” shows are back on and streaming on Hulu), good books (I am still working my way through all of Maya Angelou’s autobiographies — she had such an interesting life!), a new printer (now I just have to set it up), knowing that it will take time but it will be okay, laughing with Eric.